20
Aug
14

Movie Review: Mistaken For Strangers

02816634 I went into Mistaken For Strangers with pretty high expectations because critics have rated it really highly and I’d read a bit about the premise for it and I was instantly intrigued to watch it.

This is partly because the film is about the band The National, who I know very little about despite having every one of their albums, and partly because it’s not a traditional “rock doc”.

The entire documentary is filmed from the perspective of the singer of The National (Matt Berninger’s) younger brother Tom Berninger who, unlike his older brother, is a total nobody who still lives at home with his parents and behaves for the most part like an 11 year-old.

19
Aug
14

The Ghanian Movie Industry Delivers Another Gem

Screen Shot 2014-08-20 at 11.47.14 You guys might remember awhile back I posted a trailer for the Ghanian movie 2016, which was a mind-blowing combination of horrendous CGI, gratuitous violence and insanely bad acting.

Well, it turns out that the Ghanians have been at it again with B14 1 & 2. If the trailer is anything to go by, this is the same (badly) reheated Hollywood leftovers we’ve come to expect from our Ghanian buddies.

Only this time, they’ve thrown in a healthy dose of Mortal Kombat in the form of a character who looks like a cross between Neo and Scorpion (shout out to Civilian for sending this my way).

18
Aug
14

Escape Monday: With A Whole Lot Of Bullshit

Screen Shot 2014-08-20 at 10.51.06 Firstly, a disclaimer. I am writing this post from the future and sending it back in time in an effort to maintain my perfect record of posting every day last week.

Another disclaimer, I am writing using a lot of italics to over-dramatise what is otherwise a fairly normal and barely worth reading sentence and I think it’s working.

This video is actually pretty old but I’m totally fine with that because a) It’s funny, b) It hardly has any views and c) it’s funny. Shout out to Tim, whose Facebook timeline I stole this from. It’s a prime example of how full of bullshit news reports are.

15
Aug
14

Friday LOLZ – A Welcome Return Of Extreme Whatthefuck?!

tumblr_n8nee0YQpR1qax6olo1_1280 It’s been a long time since my last Friday LOLZ post, which is great news because it means I’ve been storing up all the unspeakably weird shit I’ve found specially for you guys!

Feels good to be back posting my regular features again after the long dry spell I’ve suffered. In fact, this is the first week in about three months in which I’ve managed to post every day.

Sure, I might not have a job, a car, a place to stay, any furniture, a fiancée, a daughter (until September), any direction in my life or any real purpose at the moment, but at least I posted five times on my site. Whoop whoop dee doo.

14
Aug
14

The Tiger Hits The Boileroom, Mayhem Ensues

WP_20140813_012 It takes a special kind of maniac to decide to strike out alone to a place he’s never been, drink with total strangers in the middle of the week and rock out to bands he only discovered a month ago.

Conventional wisdom would say rather stay at home, put the kettle on and watch Friends reruns but there’s only so much Earl Grey and David Schwimmer a man can take before he loses his fucking mind.

Bands In Town (www.bandsintown.com) mailed me to say DZ Deathray were playing at the Boileroom in Guildford, so I got on the nearest train and, like a creepy public masturbator, went to go lurk at the bar alone.

13
Aug
14

A Literal “Night” At A Literal “Museum” With Literally, “Alcohol”

00902161ce955ce10c84ff937a737e7c If you live in a first world country, they let you do things that defy belief if you come from a third world country. Sure, you live in a Nanny State, but in return they let you do fun things like drink in public.

Drink in public?! For real? As in, walk down the street smashing a beer? Sit on a park bench and get hammered on gin? Cross a bridge and sip on a dirty martini? Yessir! Sky’s the limit here in the first world.

They even take it to extremes and allow you, once in awhile, to get trollied in museums between 6.30pm and 10pm. It’s called a “Late” and it happens fairly regularly in London.

12
Aug
14

To J-Rab On The Cub’s First Birthday

WP_20140702_009 I changed my mind about this post. I was going to write it to our little girl, apologise to her about the way things turned out but really, she’s just a tiny baby, exactly one year old today and blissfully oblivious of what’s going on.

The person I really want to write to is you babe because I know you’ll be hurting today and I don’t want that. There will be no tears today, that’s not what today is.

Today is the day we look back on the best year of our life together with nothing but big smiles and hazy, happy memories.

11
Aug
14

Escape Monday: With Alt-J’s New Video

Hunger I know I’ve said it before, but there’s something about this band that resonates deeply inside me. Their songs and videos are incredible, dark and light constantly swirling, caught in an endless tango.

There’s a yearning in their music, a quiet desperation, a caged animal underneath it all gnawing at the bars in the dead of night. I can’t wait to hear their new album because truth is I’m still reeling from the last one.

They released this video a month ago, I watched it in a pub on a sweltering summer day near Waterloo Station. A lot has happened since then, enough that I can empathise with the guy in this video.

08
Aug
14

Twickenham Charna

1661321099 Day 1 in London. J-Rab, The Cub and I shuffle exhausted through Border Control and 40 minutes later finally present our passports and are granted access to the United Kingdom.

At that exact point we should have stopped for a family selfy. I can see the shot so clearly in my head, J-Rab and I tired but happy and The Cub cute as hell but probably looking the wrong way.

Moments later J-Rab’s cousin who stays in Twickenham met us and took us through to his place where I spent the last night with my girls. It’s weird. The whole thing feels like a long, long time ago.

07
Aug
14

Tuesday

2014-07-21 22.12.24 I had to make a tough decision today. When J-Rab and I left South Africa, she took The Cub with her to Boston for two and a half weeks while I focussed on finding a job and a place for us to live in London.

Time slipped away and before I knew it, the two and a half weeks were almost up and I’d found nothing, so we paid to have J-Rab’s return ticket postponed for another two weeks, making her return date this Friday.

Problem is, despite countless meetings, interviews, positive conversations and optimistic recruiters, after a full month of being here I still have nothing.