Archive for December, 2009

31
Dec
09

Goodbye 2009

I can never fucking remember which way around it goes. I mean, there was probably a time when I used to know this shit, and that’s probably why it stuck, but lately, man, who the fuck knows?

The idea is that you’re either an even year kinda person or an odd year kinda person. In other words, you either have good even years or you have good odd years.

When my buddy Stikey first told me this it had a great and terrible significance in my life. I remember at that point in my life (nearly 3 years ago) it all made sense, I could trace all the tragedies in my life back to even years and all the triumphs back to odd years, or was it the other way around?

30
Dec
09

A Horse With No Name

Maybe you exercise a lot, specifically cardio exercise, or maybe you’re just a person who lives in a lot of pain, I’ve experienced both and what I always found weird about going through a lot of physical pain is that the most random song starts playing in my mind on infinite repeat.

When I woke up from surgery this one time, it was that fucking America song ‘A Horse With No Name’. I swear to god that fucking song played in my mind over and over and over again until I wanted to scream.

29
Dec
09

This day can be summed up in a mere spattering of words

Ok, ready?

Here is today: wake up, watch Drag me to Hell with Action Jackson, get my ass handed to me in Smackdown vs Raw on the Xbox by Action Jackson, swim some, J-Rab comes home from work, I return the DVDs (we also hired The Boat That Rocked) and we make supper.

Guys, I’m not going to lie to you, nothing happened today. I made some headway on a script I’m working on, that’s about it.

BUT if you wanna know what I think about the two movies I saw, we can definitely go there:

The Boat That Rocked

 

28
Dec
09

When you catch a Tiger by the tail, don’t fail…

There’s no way I would usually do this, but I’m bored and I feel like pulling the legs off insects for awhile.

 

 

So I wake up to this shitty, grey, cold ‘summer’ day, shuffle into the lounge, boil up some coffee, the landlord calls and says he’s coming over to do something or other in the bathroom, fine with me, I have no plans.

Then I open up my gmail and find that another douche has commented on my Killers Review (posted here and on the Moral Fibre site) and broken the previous douche’s record for ‘latest comment after nobody gives a fuck’ by, wait for it, 15 days!

27
Dec
09

How to listen to the White Stripes

Buy every album they’ve ever recorded (which, in chronological order are: ‘The White Stripes’, ‘De Stijl’, ‘White Blood Cells’, ‘Elephant’, ‘Get Behind Me Satan’ and ‘Icky Thump’), throw them all into a playlist and play on shuffle for an hour.

People are so bitchy about them, but The White Stripes are a great band. There’s enough variation in the music they write to keep their sound interesting, and Jack White’s lyrics are a cool combination of insightfulness and inanity.

 

 

I’m kicking back with some White Stripes now spending the day swimming, eating mind blowingly good couscous salad (with bacon in there, avo, feta, rocket, chopped butter lettuce, salad dressing and baby Italian plum tomatoes), tidying the flat and playing Torchlight.

26
Dec
09

White Christmas

I thought about painting yesterday red, but decided not to, even though that’s the goal I set myself for the month of December.

Red December I called it. Red because I was going to post everyday so that by the time we get to the end of December, every day on my blog calendar would be red with an entry.

 

 

Well, every day except Christmas cause c’mon! I’m only human, and besides no one uses the interwebs on Christmas to read someone’s crazy-ass blog right?

‘Zackly!

24
Dec
09

Meeeerrrrryyyyyy Christmas!

It’s been a cu-razy year, but I feel like it’s been a good one and so, to get into the festive spirit of things, I decided to write a Christmas well wishing list of all the people that I think are badass, kickass and have sexy asses:

  • My beautiful, incredible, smart and sexy girlfriend, Jessica Rabbit. You mean the world to me babe, Merry Christmas 🙂
  • My parents for kicking my ass when I need it most
  • My amazing, strong and gorgeous sister who is a voice of calm and understanding when I need it most
24
Dec
09

Christmas Eve and all is quiet…

The one thing you don’t miss after Christmas passes you by is shopping for and wrapping Christmas presents. There’s a lot of kak you have to go through to get everyone exactly the right present, especially when you’re fighting your way through hordes of zombified Christmas shoppers while R&B remixes of ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ pump out of every second shop window.

 

 

But the good news is it’s all done and now all there is left to do is enjoy the next two days, eat, drink and boogy on down.

23
Dec
09

The Home Stretch

These are the twilight hours of 2009 in the office. Right now it’s only the Irish man and the Irish woman and me left.

It’s been a good year for our little company and I’ve been proud to be a part of this award-winning outfit of badass PRs. Nothing can fuck with us, there’s nothing we can’t PR, you name it, we’ll PR it and we’ll PR it well.

In other news, this is post number 91 guys, that means in another 9 fucking days we’re gonna hit post 100, hol-ee shitballs! I just used my advanced skills of a mathematician and worked out that that means post no. 100 will happen ON FUCKING NEW YEAR’S DAY!

22
Dec
09

The first time I got arrested

There’s a first time for everything – your first kiss, the first time you shave (your face for guys, your vagine for the ladies) the first time you get laid and of course, the first time you land your ass in prison.

 

 

There’s nothing quite as exhilarating as not passing ‘Go’, not collecting 200 and going directly to jail. Sure, at the time it’s not fucking funny. At the time you pray that it’s all just a bad dream and you’re going to wake up any second and everything’s going to be fine, but (provided you survive with your anal virginity intact) afterwards it makes for a great story.