A Vision Of USOMFA

William Blake. Now there was a crazy fucking cat. The dude used to sit naked in his garden with his wife (also naked) and re-enact scenes from his favourite plays. He also used to experience intense visions in which demons spoke to him and in one famous incident, gave him a guided tour of the afterlife.



Me, I get visions too, but they’re usually after I’ve drunk the house dry and I have to resort to straining meths through bread to get a few more kicks before the police come.

Tonight at 11.30 I get in a big ‘ol steel bird and fly the fuck to America. It’s my first trip over there so my head’s been spinning with all kinds of crazy-assed scenarios, like a mental collage of every American movie I ever watched, because I have no idea what it’s going to be like.

American food. What’s it taste like? What are the people like? Fuck, what’s jet-lag like? I’ve never even experienced jet-lag, hells bells!

More than that I’m thinking about J-Rab’s family who, I’m finally going to meet after three years of dating their belter of a daughter and sister. What are they like? Will they let me drink meths in the house?

Does America even have meths?



The next post I bang out will be on American soil and I plan to stack it to the max with a whole bunch of pics so you guys can see the crazy shit me and J-Rab got up to. Keep in mind there’s a 6-hour time difference though, so I’ll be blogging from the past, hitting you with posts at all kinds of fucked-up times, that’s how we roll in America.

Too fucking crazy guys, FUCK I’m excited as a kid at Christmas.

So think of me as you’re drifting off tonight, I’ll be way up there in the clouds somewhere while you’re counting electric sheep, en route to Amsterdam for a 4-hour stop over and then straight to Logon Airport in Boston to meet the parents.

One last question before I go though – Arcade Fire, The Black Keys, The National, The Dead Weather or Kings Of Leon?

Choices, choices 😉

Later party people.


4 Responses to “A Vision Of USOMFA”

  1. 1 Jonno
    July 22, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Hey ST

    I hope you packed a nice big bottle of Astroglide in your carry-on bag. I took the liberty of forwarding your picture (you posted) to the friendly staff at customs and asked them to be on the lookout for a scrawny ass white guy who may or may not be smuggling a large quantity of contraband out of the the good ol’ SA.

    Have a safe trip 🙂

  2. 2 guitar Jon
    July 22, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Good luck!

    If i had to choose to be a member in one of those bands, it would be the Black Keys.
    If i could produce the next album, it would be Kings of Leon.
    If i could go to the park with them, it would be Dead Weather.
    If a had to play tennis with them, it would be the National.
    And if i had to go swim in the sea with them, Arcade Fire.

  3. 3 Brady Kelly
    July 22, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    Glad you’re excited, can’t wait for my first US trip, whenever that happens, but the people are pretty much the same, and so is the food, but they eat ten times as much as we do. Last American I spoke to in person used to use 3 shopping trollies for normal groceries for his normal sized family.

  4. 4 mrD
    July 23, 2010 at 1:59 am

    yo Tiger..

    Have fun in Amerika.. no doubt you’ll be tearing it a new one..

    If i had to see one of those bands live while in the USOMFA (which is what i think you’re asking) .. it would definitely only be: The Black Keys, who are in fact the polar opposites of the White Strips- because they’re actually cool.

    Go impress some parents and drink American Bourbon, have a drink in the “Cheers” pub (thats in Boston right?) and make a trip to New York… it’ll be worth it.

    Big love hombre

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge