My Girlfriend Fell Down The Stairs

For real.

On Sunday night, J-Rab slipped on the top step of the wooden staircase and ended up scraping the shit out of her right arm as she caught the balustrade whilst landing squarely on her bum on the edge of one of the steps.

She also gave herself mild whiplash, bruised her left forearm and tore a lot of muscles in her side, so the poor girl is a bit of a mess.

What’s bad though is it happened really late on Sunday night so we ended up going to sleep at a ridiculous hour cause we stayed up while I bandaged her up and treated her scrapes. When we did eventually get to sleep, it wasn’t very restful because there was basically no way she could lie that didn’t hurt like shit.



I arrive at work on Monday tired and unshaven and so naturally when people asked me why I looked like hell I told them I didn’t get much sleep the night before because my girlfriend fell down the stairs.

Just pause I moment and read that sentence again.

Yeah. Now I’m one of those guys.

“Wow, how did your girlfriend get all those bruises dude?!”

“Um, she fell down the stairs.”

“Really? Oh well that settles it then. Fell down the stairs. Sure, that sounds legit… I’ll just be over here if you need me… calling the police…”

Luckily her clothing covers most of the bruises so you can’t really see them. Thank God for small miracles right? Hahhahaa… wait, that sounds bad too…

Let’s just end this post shall we?

Send good vibes J-Rab’s way and pray she heals fast because at this rate, I’ll be in jail by the weekend.


6 Responses to “My Girlfriend Fell Down The Stairs”

  1. 1 Daring D
    January 18, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    Unlucky to J-Rab, hope she recovers soon!

  2. 2 thirstydog
    January 19, 2011 at 3:03 am

    JAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! You’re back! Nice!! I was losing hope, but you came back like a bad case of herpes. Nice one Slick.

    But i’m sorry to hear about J Rab. I know you like vests but i think you’re taking the wife beater thing too literally… Seriously though hope she heals up real good real soon and that you guys enjoy living in Vredehoek. Its an amazing neighbourhood.

    Big love

    • January 19, 2011 at 9:23 am

      Hey thanks amigo!
      Yeah, the Tiger’s back. I couldn’t stay away. Truth is even when I’m not posting, there are still 200 – 300 people hitting this site every day, insane!
      Time to give the people what they want 😉
      Thanks for the kind words for J-Rab. SHe’s a little trooper so she’ll heal up in no time.
      Send me some news dude! How things your side?

  3. February 4, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    Similar thing happened to me a few years back. Only my (then) girlfriend managed to cut her forehead on during the fall. Cue: Profuse bleeding. I got a call to rush her off for some emergency stitches on what was a Saturday morning. During the farking Tri-Nations, boet! Bokke versus the All Blacks… In New Zealand, Charna!

    Not only did I miss the end of an epic game (NZ snuck it at the death with a Kevin Mealamu try: http://www.supersport.com/rugby/article.aspx?id=155729), but I had to suffer the ignominy of getting the third degree from every nurse on duty while I paced around the waiting room (with no TV). They even started tuning my GF:

    “You don’t need to pretend sweetie. You can tell us what really happened.”
    While I was standing there!

    Salt in the wounds.

    OMG – “My Name is Luka” has just come on the radio. I shit you not.

    • February 6, 2011 at 8:18 pm

      Hahahahahahahahaha! Too awesome.
      Yeah, lemme tell you, once they tar you with that brush there’s nothing you can say that will get the dirt off.
      So unnecessary. If only she would just flippin’ LISTEN!
      What do you tell a girl with two black eyes?
      Nothing you haven’t told her twice already.
      Phew. Tough crowd.

  4. February 4, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    PS – Sorry, I assume from your more recent posts that J-Rab made a good recovery!

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