Archive for March, 2011

31
Mar
11

The Zombies Come On Thursdays

Just before sunrise, they come.

We hear them in the streets, moving sluggishly, bags of bottles clinking as they shuffle hopelessly through the suburbs, hungry.

They take their time, they have all the time in the world, they are dead to us.

We pretend to sleep, but we can hear them outside, rummaging. Eventually our cell phone alarms sound and we get up, make some coffee, turn on the morning news, eat a hearty breakfast, shower, change.

How different our morning routine is from theirs.

We know if we just don’t make eye contact and walk quickly and briskly to our cars, get in, start the engine and leave, chances are they won’t approach us.

30
Mar
11

Josh Homme Just Got That Much More Badass

It’s no secret that I’m probably the biggest Josh Homme fan in the entire fucking world. As far as I’m concerned, the man is a genius. Every band he’s ever been a part of, right back to his days playing with the stoner rock band Kyuss, has been mind-blowingly badass.

 

 

The best way I could put it is that if my life were a movie, the soundtrack would comprise of Kyuss, Queens Of The Stone Age, Eagles Of Death Metal and Them Crooked Vultures.

I’m so obsessed with the man that not only do I have every B-side he ever recorded, but recently I even resorted to getting my hands on his wife’s music and found out that she’s a total badass too!

29
Mar
11

ET Doesn’t Die!

J-Rab and I got to talking about ET last night which I watched once and only once back when I was about seven.

Back then I was easily frightened by anything vaguely weird or scary and so it was with great trepidation that I even watched ET in the first place because let’s face it, ET is fucking weird and ugly. He looks like a cross between a turtle without a shell and a turd that’s been left in the sun too long.

 

 

28
Mar
11

The Tracy McGregor Breast Debate (NSFW!)

The new Playboy SA is on streets and men throughout the country are finally getting a good look at covergirl Tracy McGregor’s breasts.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, may I present to you Exhibit A:

 

 

Of course, 2OceansSlime already leaked this picture last week sometime and it’s been doing the rounds pretty hectically on the interwebs over the last few days, but I felt it was important to share it with you, my trusty readers, and see what your views are.

Personally I’d say they’re real, but their are legions of trolls out there that reckon they’re fake and had a whole lot of shitty things to say about this pic.

24
Mar
11

World TB Day

Guys, today is World TB Day and Lancet Laboratories are doing something pretty rad – for every 5 people that tweet the hash tag #WorldTBDay, they will donate one free sputum ZN test (TB Test) to someone who can’t afford it.

To better explain the campaign here’s a video that features a sketch artist pumping out some pretty amazing drawings in stop motion with a catchy, contemporary acoustic guitar track in the background.

 

 

I say let’s take this shit to a whole other level. I say let’s all of us nail that hash tag on Twitter at least five times today and heal the world. Make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race.

23
Mar
11

Clifton Second and The Douche Parade

Monday was sick, not only because it was a public holiday, but also because we managed to get our shit together and head to the beach for what turned out to be a glorious day in the sun, sneaking red wine when no one was looking and laying in the sun, staring at the big beautiful blue sky.

We chose a spot right at the back of second beach and set up base camp, right behind some pretty innocuous looking green towels, nothing special going on there.

Then, about 15 minutes later the owners of the towels came back and turned out to be the second and third most gorgeous women on the beach (after J-Rab of course – BOOYA!).

22
Mar
11

Rebecca Black Is Everything That Is Wrong With The World

Men don’t rule the world. We haven’t for awhile now. Sometime during the 80s we began to relinquish control to women as they marched into high-powered, high-paying executive jobs with their colossal perms and shoulder pads that would make even Lord Zoltron shit his pants in mortal fear.

 

 

However, fast forward thirty years and another species has taken over completely, a species that controls the purse strings of most families whether they realise it or not. Teenage girls.

Teenage girls have taken over the world. And the result of this take over is a flood of media about superficial, surface-level bullshit that means nothing in the greater scheme, but is an incredibly efficient way to move a whole lot of consumer products that no one really needs.

17
Mar
11

The Sport That Is Barrel Rolling – Part 2

So we all saw the video on Monday of online (and sometimes real life) celebrity Mike Sharman challenging Shaun Oakes to a barrel Rolling contest that’s taking place today at De Waal Park (starts at 15h30, come on down!), now I present to you, Mr Shaun Oakes’ reply:

 

 

It’s awn! It’s happening today and if you had to say, take the afternoon off and enter into a barrel rolling competition to win a fine collection of Irish single Malt whiskies to celebrate St Paddy’s Day with, today is the day to do that!

See you crazy cats there Winking smile

-ST

16
Mar
11

Okes Who Like To Klap It #2 – Extreme Rukby Tackles

Following yesterday’s flippin EPIC post which charnas told me was DAK, LEGENDARY, MASSIVE and RIPPED I thought I’d post a video which a oke at that very same rugby club I told you about yesterday WOLFPACK RFC, posted on their FLEISBOEK page.

Ma boychays, please enjoy the following video of nothing but EXTREME RUKBY TACKLES that has hundreds of okes MOERING the flippin’ shit out of each other! (Shot Callum ma boychay!)

If you dig BLOOD, KNOCKING OKES UNCONSHENS, BREAKING OKES FACES and MORE BLOOD, you’ll flippin’ GO NUTS for this video.

 

 

CHOON in tomorrow for a post that has nothing but BADLY WRITTEN ENGLISH and FLIPPIN’ HOT BELTERS!

15
Mar
11

Okes Who Like To KLAP IT #1

There’s nothing flippin’ more lekker than getting together with a bunch of okes who are MASSIVE AND RIPPED and MOERING other okes stukkend! When a oke can do this with his chommies he feels a POWERFUL sense of comrahderie because he’s one of the MANNE and no other oke can mess with him!

On Saturday I watched the tightest group of chommies I’ve seen in flippin’ AGES run up and down a field and MOER the flippin’ SHIT out of these other okes who weren’t that tight and probably could have used another 4 sessions a week in the gym, KLAPPING IT, instead of sitting around on their arses being flippin’ USELESS.