Archive for September, 2011


Happy Second Birthday SlickTiger!

stripper cakeExactly two years and one day ago I pushed this site out lovingly from the moist, slippery birth canals of my twisted mind.

Can you believe it’s already been two years?! Christ, if I’d actually dedicated all this time to writing a novel like I’d originally planned and stuck to writing it as religiously as I blog on this site, I’d have a fucking masterpiece by now.

But, conversely, I never would have met all you, my happy little gang of imaginary internet friends so yeah… um… whoop whoop dee doo?


Okes Who Like To Klap It #6: Legwarmer Boychay

Ronny Rockel 194Hasit ma charnas!

So I was in the gym the other day for my late night session, KLAPPING it so stukkend I had to beat the belters off me with a barbell when I saw a boychay who had taken things to THE NEXT LEVEL!

This charna walks in with the confidence of 10 men and immediately all the belters start staring at him like the oke has some kinda magical aurora and no matter how much I grunted between reps or how hard I chucked the weights against the floor, it didn’t make a flippin’ difference!

EVERYONE was watching this charna!


Lets Just Pretend Theres A Post Here

12515Cause I’m tired. Bone-tired. And I honestly don’t have a damn thing to say today that’s worth writing, much less reading.

Actually no, I lie I do have one thing to say. It’s a joke my friend Mark Wahlberg told me.

These two friends go hunting for moose one day and the one says to the other, “Hey, let’s split up!”

So the other one’s like “Ok” and they go their separate ways.

Some time passes and the one friend hears something rustling in the bushes in front of him, so he raises his rifle and gets ready to shoot.


Finally! a Diet Plan That Actually Works!

anorexic-model-9Diet plans have gotten a lot of bad press recently because food companies have cottoned onto the fact that when people are on them (the diet plans), they eat less.

Eating less is the sole cause of food companies losing out on millions and millions of USD every year and is basically the reason America is going bankrupt.

But what if I told you that there is finally a diet plan that allows you the best of both worlds! Eating as much food as you want (sometimes) AND still losing weight. That’s right folks, courtesy of my good buddy Civilian, I’d like to present to you the Butterfield Diet!


SlickTiger Revolutionises Braai Day

All-in-one-Braai-PackDon’t get me wrong, I love a good braai just as much as the next South African. What better way to spend a sunny day than with good friends, cold beers and the mouth-watering aroma of delicious animals sizzling above a blanket of red hot coals.

It’s ingrained in our DNA. It’s as natural to South Africans as making chocolate is to the Swiss or being snooty pricks is to the French.

However, as a concerned global citizen I think we should pause for a minute and consider whether making EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY BRAAI AT THE SAME TIME is really that smart.


The Tiger Hits Up The Nokia N9 Launch, Champagne Ensues…

Marko AhtisaariWhen Marko Ahtisaari, Nokia’s global head of design, began speaking at the Nokia N9 launch, the entire room went quiet.

Not because he was overbearing, not because he dominated the room with his presence, but because he spoke with a kind of humility that endeared him to his audience almost immediately.

Listening to him, I got the impression that he was carefully measuring every word as he spoke, yet his speech flowed so freely it felt like he was just shooting the breeze with us as he explained how he and his team designed the Nokia N9.


A Camera Lens That Can See Into The FUTURE

sigmalens_miniAmazon user reviews are the SHIZ! I mean, it doesn’t happen all the time, but once in awhile the people who trawl Amazon find a product so ridiculous it’s practically BEGGING for people to take the piss.

Enter the $26 000 35-pound giant green Sigma 200-500mm camera lens (thanks Tim!). A lens so huge it can instantly turn you into a giant douche the second you fit it onto your camera.

More hilarious than the lens itself are the reviews “users” wrote on Amazon, some of which I’ve included below to brighten up your Thursday, KAPOW! (Shamelessly stolen from PetaPixel).




TreeFiddy Review: The Kooks – Junk Of The Heart

kooks_junk_of_the_heartThe Down Lizzo:

The Kooks new album Junk Of The Heart sure as hell isn’t going to deliver any earth-shattering curveballs in terms of the musical direction they’ve chosen, nor is it going to top the previous success they’ve enjoyed with Inside In/Inside Out and Konk but I’ll tell you what it IS going to do – make you wish you’d never bought it.

Despite what the band would have you believe Junk Of The Heart is hardly a departure from their signature sound unless you factor in the lack of spontaneity and energy that made their previous albums great.


World’s funniest Analogies

Analogy - AnalogyDon’t you love it when people (usually your parents) send you the same funny email / video you saw five years ago?

That’s the beauty of the interwebs. The same content gets sent round and round and round endlessly, getting a little less funny each time you see it, as is the case with the “world’s funniest analogies”.

I first read some of these back when I was in highschool which means they’ve been kicking around for AT LEAST a year now, but what the hell.

Some are new so I thought I’d share because I was too busy KLAPPING GYM last night to think up a post to write.


Baking Becomes Evil

bld141867You say “baking” and I think of a plump, grandmotherly woman in a pink frilly apron working a rolling pin whilst humming happily to herself in the afternoon sun.

Well, that’s what I used to think when you said “baking”. NOW, thanks to the wonder of the internet, when you say “baking” I break out into cold sweats, my eyes darting nervously around the room to see if somehow, somewhere one of the nightmarish creations I’m about to show you could be lurking in the shadows.

So brace yourselves for this one. It ain’t for the faint-hearted. What you’re about to see is the product of a depraved mind, much like this site actually Winking smile