Archive for October 11th, 2011

11
Oct
11

Kids, Always Clean Your Fucking Ears

5876317-antique-closed-for-business-signAt roughly 18h20 on Sunday evening my right ear decided to close for business.

I knew this because all of a sudden all of my internal sounds (ie. breathing, swallowing, my heart beating, etc.) became at least 10 times louder than they usually are.

My first instinct was to grab an ear bud and start ramming it unceremoniously into my ear to try and dislodge what felt like an entire boulder of waxy gunk.

So I jammed an ear bud as far as it would go and listened intently to the squelching sounds that followed before examining the ear bud to confirm my worst suspicions – something had died in there. Something… UNGODLY!