Archive for April, 2012

26
Apr
12

The Avengers Movie Better Make Me Kak With Joy

201203231226395261919.pngHas there ever, EVER been a more highly anticipated movie than the Avengers?

I mean besides the trailers, teasers and general hype, there have also been no less than six movies produced in the build-up to this undeniably brobdingnagian (yes, that’s an actual word, look it up) cinematic event.

To put it bluntly, if watching this movie doesn’t make me actually see God himself, if it doesn’t send me into violent paroxysms of sheer joy while choirs of angels descend to sing the end credits, I am going to track down Joss Whedon and co. and kick them so hard in the balls, their grandchildren will walk funny.

25
Apr
12

Steri Delivers Gigantic Crate Of Awesome

Steri_drop1Dedicated readers of this site will know that Steri and Slicky-T go waaaaaaayyyy back to a time before this blog (or ANY blogs for that matter) even existed.

Back then, I used to be able to gulp down an ice cold strawberry Steri in record time, a feat which won me the coveted title of “Champion Strawberry Steri Speed Drinker, Gauteng Region”.

People speculated that I did it for the fame, the glory. They said I was just showing off, but the cold, hard truth was that I did it because I was trying to raise awareness for a vital cause – there isn’t enough Steri in a stumpie, there never has been… until now.

24
Apr
12

Santam’s response to Nandos – It’s AWN!

SantamvsNandosWattup party people! Your Tiger pal is back in the country yo so y’all can sleep safe at night knowing I’m back for your daily dose of awesome, punctuated with cringe-worthy gangsta rap lingo, word.

While I was gone, Nandos had a cheeky little jibe at the latest Santam ad featuring Ben Kingsley that’s been getting a lot of attention.

Santam have now officially replied to Nandos by challenging them to deliver chicken to a children’s home! Hahahaha! Priceless! Check out all the videos below and join me in sitting back to watch this saga unfurl (*grabs popcorn).

Here’s the original Santam ad that’s been doing the rounds:

20
Apr
12

Tiger Bites: vol.3 (Alabama Shakes)

Infinity-Blade-AToday’s Tiger Bites is going to be super short, sweet and to the point because I’m actually writing this in the past (it’s Wednesday) while I’m still at my sister’s place in Holland and I got gaming to do.

My youngest nephew and I have become hopelessly obsessed with Infinity Blade and have decided we won’t sleep safe until we have the BEST OF EVERYTHING IN THE GAME.

We need to get about 3.5 million gold pieces to do this, we have 2.2 currently and considering you get about 5 thousand every time you kill someone, we got a LOONNGG way to go.

19
Apr
12

If You Took Acid Every Day, This Is What You’d See

lsd_papertripI gotta thank my main man Action for this video. Actually, I’m not sure if “thank” is quite the word I’m looking for, but yeah. This is the weird shit he sends me.

What you’re about to see is a bizarre amalgamation of orchestral music, psychedelic lights, patterns and stars and a woman in a leotard with the creepiest fucking look on her face I’ve ever seen.

I can’t tell if this is a music video or just a nightmarish collection of images thrown together for the sake of it, but one thing’s for sure, whoever made this needs to seriously cut their LSD intake down to maybe one tab a month instead of one tab a day.

18
Apr
12

Dieting Reaches A Whole New, Utterly Retarded Level

1-ke-dietIt seems the more we “advance” as a species, the better marketers, advertisers and the media get at dialing our insecurities up to the point where we will buy anything to make other people love us.

We’re force-fed the idea that if we’re too fat, too thin, too ugly, have bad skin, have hair that isn’t shiny, strong and UV resistant, have bad teeth, drive the wrong car, etc. society will never accept us.

Don’t, whatever anyone says, ever just be yourself. Rather spend your life chasing an unobtainable ideal, a photoshopped billboard-ready version of reality that you’ll sink millions into trying to achieve. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that they force this bullshit on us or the fact that we lap it up so readily.

17
Apr
12

Okes Who Like To Klap It #13: Bromance Charnas

alex-romanoff-bromanceHazit ma charnas!

So I was surfing Vleisboek the other day for buff pics of okes I know who klap MMA  when I suddenly found a lekker video that says everything I was trying to say about how without your charnas, you are NOTHING in life.

You’ll NEVER have a oke to spot you for 120kilo benchpress, you’ll NEVER have a charna to help you spray tan that place where your arms can’t reach behind your back and you’ll NEVER have a boychay to tell you, “It’s ok boet, it’s perfectly normal, don’t stress my charna.  It will go back to it’s normal size one day, I promise.”

17
Apr
12

The Fine Art Of Radass Nicknames

Captain and SlickI mentioned in yesterday’s post that I’m staying at my sister’s place in Holland right now which, on any given day, is a total maelstrom of chaos, energy and good times.

My sister has four kids, a son who’ll be 15 this year, a daughter who’s 13 and a twin boy and girl who are 8. They’re good kids, all of them, but the older two and I have spent the most time together.

The oldest son was understandably a bit bummed yesterday to read that the best nickname I could come up with for him was “Nephew No.1”, so we put our heads together to come up with something better.

16
Apr
12

The Tiger Hits Up Holland, Relaxes To The MAX

tulipssThat’s right bitches! Your Tiger pal is in Holland, relaxing to the maximum at his sister’s place in Bergen, 40 mins outside Amsterdam where it’s a balmy 6 degrees at present.

I know what you’re all thinking right now and I’m just gonna stop you dead in your tracks and say no. I’m not planning on visiting any coffee shops during my stay.

This isn’t my first time in Holland, I’ve done this twice before and both times I did the touristy let’s-see-how-many-different-strains-of-marijuana-we-can-smoke thing and holy balls, it did not end well.

12
Apr
12

Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part XI)

Burrito Bison1It has been a long-ass time since I posted an epic work time-waster because awhile back I saw that Mr Dan Nash also posts time wasters so I felt bad copying the dude.

But then I got over that because the way I see it, the more time we can get you to waste at work the better. We’re taking the power back people, KAPOW!

So I jumped on Kongregate to see what rad stuffs they got there and came across a game I know you guys are gonna go apeshit for. Sit tight people, unemployment is just a click away…