27
Sep
12

Slicky-T Gets NAILED By The Mother Of All Comment-Spam

Spam-CanComment-spam is definitely one of the more intriguing forms of spam out there. It almost always comes in the form of grammatically horrendous flattery that has absolutely nothing to do with what you’ve posted.

I’m not even sure how it’s supposed to work. Even when I was a blogger-newbie desperate for comments I knew better than to approve that shite.

I wish I could though, because holy shit, the stuff I get sometimes is so hilariously random I know you guys would get a kick out of it. Case in point: the MOTHER of all comment-spam that hit my site last week.

I’m guessing there are comment-spam bots out there that send out spiders to search websites for certain keywords and then try to match a spam comment to the post from a gigantic database of pre-written comment-spam.

How do I know the database is gigantic? I know this because my post about Matthew Mole winning the “Get Out Of The Garage” Competition was hit by no less than 45 spam comment permutations in one go.

 

 

The first couple are pretty normal, as you will see from samples 1 through 5 below:

Hi, just wanted to tell you, I enjoyed this blog post. It was funny. Keep on posting!
Hi, I just wanted to tell you, you’re dead wrong. Your article doesn’t make any sense.
Hello, how’s it going? Just shared this post with a colleague, we had a good laugh.
Incredible points. Sound arguments. Keep up the great work.
This text is worth everyone’s attention. How can I find out more?

The next couple of comments follow a similar format, but then after that shit just starts getting plain fucking weird.

It’s like the robot who wrote the first few comments drank a shot of rubbing alcohol and banged out the following:

 

Hi to every single one, it’s truly a good for me to visit this web page, it includes helpful Information.
I am truly pleased to read this website posts which carries lots of helpful data, thanks for providing these kinds of statistics.
This video post is actually great, the noise quality and the picture quality of this tape post is genuinely amazing.
I all the time emailed this website post page to all my friends, because if like to read it then my friends will too.
Your method of explaining the whole thing in this post is in fact pleasant, every one be capable of effortlessly be aware of it, Thanks a lot.
Fine way of telling, and pleasant article to obtain facts about my presentation focus, which i am going to present in institution of higher education.

 

“Which i am going to present in institute of higher education” – whatever robot, what the hell are you doing writing this shit, aren’t you supposed to be vacuuming the lounge?

 

 

Predictably, things get even better from there when the robot downs the entire bottle of rubbing alcohol.

Hi there to every body, it’s my first go to see of this web site; this weblog consists of awesome and in fact good stuff for visitors.
Hurrah, that’s what I was exploring for, what a stuff! existing here at this blog, thanks admin of this web site.
What’s up, every time i used to check blog posts here in the early hours in the break of day, for the reason that i enjoy to gain knowledge of more and more.
What’s up to every one, as I am in fact eager of reading this web site’s post to be updated regularly. It includes nice stuff.
Hi all, here every person is sharing these kinds of know-how, so it’s nice to read this website, and I used to go to see this blog daily.
Sketches are in fact pleasant source of teaching instead of content, its my familiarity, what would you say?
Hello, the whole thing is going fine here and ofcourse every one is sharing data, that’s in fact fine, keep up writing.
Hi there to every one, the contents present at this web page are actually amazing for people knowledge, well, keep up the good work fellows.
No matter if some one searches for his vital thing, thus he/she desires to be available that in detail, thus that thing is maintained over here.

And there I was, terrified at the thought of robots taking over the world, what the hell was I thinking? That shit’s going to be hilarious!

 

 

Happy Thursday folks, before you know it the weekend will be upon us and we can like to desire with great happiness for sharing alcohol in amounts vast while congratulations ourselves for incredible work fellows!

-ST


1 Response to “Slicky-T Gets NAILED By The Mother Of All Comment-Spam”


  1. 1 Rob
    September 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    What a stuff Slicky T!


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