The SlickTiger Guide To STEALING A OKE’S SHIT!

Champions_League_T20_LogoOkes, I can tell you one thing flippin’ straight. Not since I klapped too much roids one day when I was a bouncer and broke a oke’s jaw for forgetting his ID in the car have I ever, EVER been so flippin’ ready to tear a oke a new ARSEHOLE.

What has flippin PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH? I’ll tell you what, plaguerism, that’s what.

Plaguerism is a word my lawyer taught me that comes from a time when ous got lank sick and DIED because of a disease spread by RATS THAT WERE COVERED IN KAK.

In this case, the disease that is being spread around is adverts for some flippin chophead moffie sport where ous hit the other ous little red balls around and the rats COVERED IN KAK that are spreading it are the advertising dooses who STOLE IT FROM ME!

Don’t believe me?! Jasis. Do you live under a flippin’ rock?

Here’s what I mean:



Fuck okes. Well done. What a clever idea for an advertisement campaign. “Klap It”. I mean hell, the ou who came up with that is such a ORIGINAL CHARNA, no one has never used that one before, “Klap It”.

And just when you think it can’t get any flippin worse, I see THIS kak:



Can you believe those flippin those KAK COVERED RATS could be such a buncha CHOPHEADS that they would PLAGUERISE a oke’s LIVES WORK like that?!

“Klap it Titans”!??! “See you there boet”!??!?!

Whoever made that kak, let me explain something very, VERY flippin’ carefully to you.







And so is this KLAPPING IT:



Now that you understand that, lemme ask you flippin KAK COVERED RATS a simple question.

Is THIS klapping it?



What about this?



And this?!



I mean these ous must think they’re dealing with a real flippin’ doos if they think they can just steal the BUFFEST CHARNA IN THE LAND’S BUFFEST EXPRESSION AND USE IT FOR THE BIGGEST MOFFIE SPORT TO EVER BE INVENTED!

Please okes, someone tell me this is some kind of big flippin’ joke and tomorrow when I wake up all this kak will be over.

Just so that I can remind anyone who might have forgotten, though yes, the expression might have existed in spoken language before, the oke to put it into writing and flippin CLAIM IT FOR ONCE AND ALL WAS ME, SLICKTIGER.

Don’t believe me? Ok, then how about you read the following:

The SlickTiger Guide to Klapping Gym Boet!
The SlickTiger Guide To Klapping Gym Boet Part 2: Know Your Blonde Belter
Okes Who Like To KLAP IT #1
Okes Who Like To Klap It #2 – Extreme Rukby Tackles
Okes Who Like To Klap It #3 – Boychay On A Beach (NSFW)
Okes Who Like To KLAP IT #4 – Wolfpack RFC Vs Durbanville 5
Okes Who Like To Klap It #5 – Paul Main Man
Okes Who Like To Klap It #6: Legwarmer Boychay
Okes Who Like To Klap It #7 – Another Legwarmer Boychie!
Okes Who Like To Klap It #8: Belters In Legwarmers!
Okes Who Like To Klap It #9: Moffie Socks Classes!
Okes Who Like To Klap It #10: ANTON TAYLOR
Okes Who Like To Klap It #11: DASO Poster
Okes Who Like To Klap It #12: Old Spice Charna
Okes Who Like To Klap It #13: Bromance Charnas
Okes Who Like To Klap It #14: Mullet CHarna
Okes Who Like To Klap It #15: Avastar Nightclub Charna
Okes Who Like To Klap It #16: Moer a oke for Jesus
Okes Who Like To Klap It #17: Cameron Van Der Burgh
Okes Who Like To Klap It #19: 4-Man Kanoe Charnas
Okes Who Like To Klap It #20: Right-Handed Tokoloshe Catcher


I mean fuck. If writing 21 posts about “Klapping It” doesn’t mean a oke owns that expression then I’ll eat the minivan I benchpressed for my warm up set yesterday.

You show me someone who used the expression “Klapping It” or “Klap It” IN WRITING before the 9th Februaury 2010 when my guide first went virile and I’ll admit I’ve maybe taken too much roids today and am losing it.

Otherwise, I want ous to send this post to EVERYONE THEY KNOW and I want those ous to send it to EVERYONE THEY KNOW AND EVERYONE THEY KNOW AND EVERYONE THEY KNOW.

I want the whole flippin’ world to know that the DOOSES behind the Champions League Cricket Twenty20 are a buncha KAK COVERED RATS who are so flippin’ UNORIGINAL, LAZY and DOFF that they have to steal a ous LIVES WORK to make poor people who don’t know any better think the moffie sport of cricket is actually worth watching.

Ous must know. When you steal the only thing to ever make a ou famous, that ou is gonna come after you and when he finds you, I hope for your flippin’ sake you like hospital food.



24 Responses to “The SlickTiger Guide To STEALING A OKE’S SHIT!”

  1. 1 biobot
    October 2, 2012 at 10:06 am

    This is funny as kak.

  2. 2 Civilian
    October 2, 2012 at 10:16 am

    Boet! That is simply NOT ON hey my china?! Who do these moffies think they are stealing a oke’s thunder like that? Who the poes does that?

  3. 3 Vernon Koekjoumoer
    October 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Your original piece still goes down as one of the greatest pieces of writing I have checked out. In fact I recorded it and used to listen to it while I was klapping the weights.
    To see some ous stealing your genius makes me sick to the pit of my six pack. Swak bru, I will definitely be forwarding this out

    • October 2, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      Boedie, thanks for your comment. These ous are flippin playing with fire here, no lies.
      Ugoogelise “KLAP IT” and what happens?
      You get ME. Not once ma boych, but nine times.

      ps. NINE!

    • 5 bryan
      October 3, 2012 at 12:39 pm

      shmaak stukkend, except for the sh1tstabbin’rats stealin and stuffs – klap em!…. isabelle jones is turning in her grave!!! new follower r i

  4. 6 Bravo
    October 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    My Charna

    I think they owe you some cash

  5. 7 Pheli
    October 3, 2012 at 11:50 am

    Bwahahahahahahahaha vok Tiger, I havent hosed myself like this in a while! Nice one dude!

  6. 8 Bicep Boychay
    October 3, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Afrikaans is spoken by 13.3% of South African’s and English only 8.2% (and lets be honest the indigenous folk don’t really “Klap” cricket), so how dare they use the Afrikaans adjective for smack in their campaign right?

    I didn’t know “Klap” was yours, so sorry for “Klapping” a dop on the weekend.

  7. October 3, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    Dude, I rate you get your mates to do this nicely. Don’t Klap anyone with a fist. There a bunch of dudes at this place: http://10and5.com/ Put your stuff there and pics of cricket ppl stuff.
    Shame publicly bro! These ppl owe you credit.

  8. 11 thundies in your undies
    October 3, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    you should call those chops at ireland/davenport. They the okes that stole your kak. Fuck them in there mouths. Klap them.

  9. 12 Brian
    October 3, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    This is the worst thing I’ve ever read, if you speak like this in real life you’re a fucking tool! Trying to say a phrase belongs to you is pathetic and sorry. Hating on a sport is also pathetic.

  10. 14 nic
    October 3, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    Brian obviously works for the T20 Champions League.

  11. 15 LeeAnne
    October 4, 2012 at 7:56 am

    Dude, I totally get where you’re coming from. Everyone knows that Klap it is a Slicktiger production! Problem is, Klap it has become so ingrained in Sa culture- basically you’ve created an SA meme that everyone feels that they’re entitled to.

    Unoriginal and uninspired Badvertising at its finest. But think of it this way- if Google says you own it, you win!

    Klap it!

    • October 4, 2012 at 9:51 am

      LeeAnne, are you secretly a SERIOUS BELTER cause I’m definitely getting a bit of a SERIOUS BELTER vibe from your comment 😉

      I definitely agree that “Klap It” has become a seffrican meme, so ja, ous can adapt and use it, that’s schweet. But when I hear a oke on radio explaining SPECIFICALLY that “klapping it” is all about T20 cricket and then when that oke says “Let’s klap it, boet!” jasis. Then I just wanna flippin KILL THOSE OUS.

      Please tell all your BELTER FRIENDS that SlickTiger is a original ou, no one else in the world like him and that klapping gym came before klapping cricket and in that small way, the Tiger wins.


  12. 17 Roddy
    October 4, 2012 at 8:30 am

    Journalism at it’s best!

  13. 18 Angry Mike Botttttt
    October 4, 2012 at 9:22 am

    Brian needs a “Klap” BOTTTTTTTTTT….

  14. 19 Drew
    October 4, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Ag shame boet.

    Someone liked your shit and used it as inspiration to make a national ad campaign. Fuck IMAGINE if okes pulled inspiration from virile kak from the interwebs and used it in ads all the time. Shit would fucking go down if that ever happened ever before.

    Fuck imagine also if you weren’t such a MOF and could appreciate the fact it went virile and be happy okes read your web diary and how that inspired some okes to share your shit and maybe even check your shit out even MORE. YASSUS charna!! IMAGINE if the shit that you put on the web was kak you could sommer control with like a kickass ‘All Rights Reserved & Kak’ before it went virile.

    FUCK BOET IMAGIIIINE if you actually thought about writing to the standard of your original posts, instead of turning this blog into a cool-kid-gone-nerdy whingefest moaning about how nobody loves you as much as they did before you put on 20 pounds of digital whine-bloat.

    Man the fuck up and write better, boet. Then enjoy the way the stuff you write better spreads.

    You’re better than this.

    • October 4, 2012 at 3:31 pm

      What the flip?!
      Mom, is that you?! I tolled you not to ever write on this site man, jasis!

    • 21 C
      October 4, 2012 at 4:03 pm

      Who still uses mof as a slur?
      I really hate to reuse jokes but since you put in so little effort I’m going to return the favour: be careful, your homophobia is showing.

      Might I suggest a pink shirt to help you cover it up before going out into public?

  15. 22 Drew
    October 4, 2012 at 3:20 pm


    Moderated comments? Really? That’s one way to show how all your readers agree with you, always.
    #klappingit :/

    • 23 DRE
      October 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm

      Oke, not all the readers of this blog HAVE to agree with Slick. He doesn’t have to moderate KAK to show reader’s approval. I respect your opinion (and we are in agreement on some of your points) as it ARE your constitutional right to do so- ALL THAT FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION KAK FROM OKES WHO DON’T KNOW HOW TO KLAP IT AND GET MASSIVE AND RIPPED (I say this in jest of course). But telling Slick to, and I quote, ‘Man the fuck up’ is not on CHARNA.

      It’s ok that you don’t Know how to KLAP IT boet, it are hundred’s CHARNA. Maybe a RIPPED OKE will allow you to hold his towel and mix his protein shakes in the gym one day.

      Until such time, keep KLAPPING IT SLICK


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