Archive for November, 2012


Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part XII): Dikembe Mutombo’s 4 1/2 Weeks To Save The World

Dikembe4Old Spice, hahahahaha! I mean, your GRANDAD used to wear Old Spice right? Christ, he used to practically BATH in that stuff, it was insane.

Much like Bell’s Extra Special Old Scotch Whisky, the Old Spice was pretty much doomed to failure because it’s target audience was getting very old and shuffling off this mortal coil.

Then they relaunched the brand with some of the fucking weirdest advertising known to man and hey presto! The brand became cool again. In their latest escapade, they have teamed up with former basketball player Dikembe Mutombo and made the following epic piece of work time-wastery.

Check it:



Every week they’re releasing another level to play as we approach the impending apocalypse – there are two out so far, the plotlines of which are so ridiculously convoluted, I could explain them but I’m not 100% sure if I understand them…

Anyway, the first level looks like this:



And the second one looks like this:



Both levels are just challenging enough that you probably won’t crack them the first time around, but even if you do, the pleasure of this game is not so much in the gameplay, but rather the hilariously weird cut-scenes and dialogue between Dikembe and his unlikely buddies.

Like Science, the bear.



So yeah. It’s Friday, the year is rapidly drawing to a close so really, what’s stopping you from diving head-first into Dikembe’s epic adventures?

TOTAL TIME WASTED: Not too long, probably an hour tops.
FINAL VERDICT: If playing this game doesn’t make you chuckle at least once or twice at its sheer weirdness then I’m sorry. But we can’t be friends anymore

Have a killer weekend Party People!



Movie Review: Skyfall

skyfall-main_1Your Tiger pal was fortunate enough to get invited to a premier of the new James Bond film Skyfall on Tuesday night by the Hunter’s Dry brand team and man-o-man did they get it right!

I’ve been to three events at the Nu Metro cinema Prive this year and of all three, Tuesday night’s shindig was the best because Hunter’s stuck to a couple of simple rules that can literally make or break an event.

Namely, if you’re hosting an event after work, serve lots of food. The Hunter’s team not only did this, but they also kept the free Hunter’s flowing. So the start of the evening was awesome – they showed us the new Hunter’s Dry advert, people clapped, it was great. Then Skyfall started…



Just so we’re clear right from the get-go, I’m not the world’s hugest Bond fan but to be perfectly frank, I don’t know anyone who is.

Bond movies are an unstoppable force of nature. Part of me admires the franchise for churning out movie after movie after movie (Skyfall is the 23rd Bond film in a series that spans exactly 50 years) and part of me wishes they wouldn’t.

The main problem I had with Skyfall is that the answer to the central question the movie asks, namely “does the world need James Bond?” is answered so half-heartedly, it left me asking the question “do I care?”

To its credit, Skyfall does introduce one new twist into the James Bond story which I’m pretty sure the franchise hasn’t touched on in the past – ol’ Jimmy-boy is (IRONY ALERT!) getting old.



After a botched mission in the beginning of the film, Bond goes into a kind of self-imposed retirement and, predictably, things at MI6 go completely to shit when an enemy operative gets hold of all the secret identities of MI6’s agents and starts offing them one by one.

Never one to stand idly by and watch the bad guys win, Bond gets back on the dead horse and starts flogging it for all its worth through one meritless scene after the next.

When the film’s villain (played by Javier Bardem) was revealed in a bizarre, homo-erotically charged scene, my give-a-fuck switched over from “some” to “none whatsoever” as it quickly became apparent how badly Bardem’s character, Raoul Silva, is modelled on Heath Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight.



In simple terms, Skyfall is 143 minutes of fence-sitting. The film touches on Bond getting old and questions are raised as to whether or not he  is fit for service and then, three scenes later he’s performing athletic feats that would put most Olympians to shame.

M is hauled in front of a public inquiry to investigate whether she is fit for service, the answer of which, after the inquiry itself is attacked by Silva’s goons, is a resounding “no”, despite her impassioned recital of some moving poetry.

Bond’s past is mentioned, as are his unresolved childhood issues from losing his parents and being trained as a secret operative from a young age, but the film’s solution to these issues is to have Bond return to his ancestral home and blow the place to kingdom come.



As for Bardem, he comes across as more silly than menacing as a villain and delivers a muddled performance that left me confused as to whether I was supposed to feel sympathy or repulsion toward his laughably flamboyant character.

Daniel Craig is as stone-faced as ever in his portrayal of Bond and was almost terminally incapable of landing any of Bond’s weak one-liners. Sure, that’s more due to poor scripting than Craig himself, but I still felt like something was lacking in his portrayal of 007.

Where is the Bond he brought to the screen in Casino Royale? Where is that lovable, poker-playing rogue that had more swag than all the other Bonds put together? 



Instead Craig played the weariest Bond I think the franchise has ever seen, which I think was the whole point so credit where it’s due, but as I’ve already mentioned, I think they could have done so much more with that idea than just have him look hungover in some scenes and fail a few physicals.

I could go on but I’d just be picking holes in the film for the sake of it. If you’re some kind of Bond junkie then by all means go and see this film and let me know what you think.

If not, avoid paying to see this movie at all costs. The abundant product placement alone will probably cover the production costs of this film which is why I feel no remorse in thoroughly recommending that you raid Pirate Bay / a buddy’s hard drive for this movie and watch it only if you’ve exhausted all your other options.

Final Verdict: 4/10



My Thoughts On Zombies And The Doc Of The Dead Trailer

zombieThe zombie apocalypse might as well have happened because they are EVERYWHERE! They’ve invaded pop culture like a virus spread from monkeys that reduces those exposed to it to mindless, face-eating monsters.

But where and how did it all start? This is a question that has cropped up countless times whenever I get into this topic and it’s one that the documentary Doc Of The Dead tries to answer.

My theory has to do with the increasing alienation we feel toward any sense of true purpose in a world so rife with escapism, nothing seems meaningful anymore.

We’re terminally bored and jaded. We’ve seen it all before, we know how it plays out and we’re desperate for something, anything, to break the monotony of the hum-drum of our day-to-day lives.

The promise of a zombie apocalypse offers all this, and more! The one thing all zombie movies have in common is the devastating way the fabric of society is instantly ripped to shreds.

All the systems that governed and controlled us before fall apart overnight in a violent bloodbath in which only the fittest, strongest and in most cases, luckiest survive.



I think it’s a really telling sign that countless millions would rather face the horror of a zombie apocalypse than have to sit through a lifetime of boardroom meetings, deadlines, reports, school fees, PTA meetings and eventually old-age homes and adult diapers.

In a zombie apocalypse, the plethora of choices we face on a daily basis are boiled down to two very simple, drastic options – survive or die. All of the molly-coddling society insists on subjecting us to is violently stripped away and life returns to what it was before civilisation began: something precious, something no longer taken for granted, something you have to fight tooth and nail to hang on to.

I’m interested to see what Doc Of The Dead is all about. We’ll have to wait and see if it offers any answers about our current obsession with zombies and with a release date in 2014, it’s gonna be a long wait.



Pretty cool, ne? Doesn’t really give much away in terms of what the documentary is actually about, but if it addresses any of the issues I touched on above, I’m keen to watch it.



Escape Monday: The World’s Most Colourful Sea Creatures

colorful05-regal-angelfish_17429_600x450Confession time. I stole EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE IMAGES from the National Geographic website, which you can visit here if you’d like to find out more about the creatures below.

In the meantime, you can kick back with your morning coffee, play The Little Mermaid soundtrack in the background and just get completely lost in how peaceful, colourful and rad sea creatures are.

I mean holy shit. Think about it guys! Over 70% of the Earth’s surface is covered in water, so there is all kinds of cool stuff down there that we are probably not even aware of.

All the more reason why I should have taken that Groupon “Beginner’s Scuba-Diving Course” J-Rab bought for my birthday last year instead of letting it expire.

Lame-o, Slicky-T. Lame-O!













Last week of November guys – this time next month we’re all gonna be nursing Christmas hangovers and wandering where the hell our pants are.

We’re nearly there. It’s the final sprint.

Man up soldier, you got this Winking smile



The Best Music Videos From The MK Music Video Project

ml_mvp_logoFive months ago, MK launched the MK Music Video Project whereby local bands were invited to team up with SA production companies and submit a creative pitch to MK for a music video.

From there, MK chose the 12 best pitches and commissioned those videos to be produced, resulting in some of the videos I’m about to show you.

If you want to watch all 12, check them out here. Otherwise I’m posting my top five right here, right now. I’ve chosen these videos according to two broad criteria – not only do the videos have to be sick, but the songs must be rad as well.

Let’s start with my number 5. Here’s aKing with “Jezebel”.



I really, really dig that song. It’s got a bit of a Thin Lizzy vibe going and from a songwriting perspective it’s really complex, a lot of moving parts all fitted perfectly together.

The video itself was well shot, but when you boil it down to it’s essence, it’s just the band jamming in a room which we’ve all seen at least a couple hundred times before and is the reason why this isn’t higher on my list.

The next vid from Shortstraw however tells an entire flippin story with schweet underwater shots and everything!



Great track as well, the way they match the pace of the track with the video is pretty much flawless. It’s a lot harder to get that shit right than it looks and that last shot is powerful as a punch right to the gut.

Moving on we have the Gazelle track “Val Van Die Ryk” which I must be honest I chose 40% because the video is cool and 60% because the track itself is pretty goddamn sick.



Classic! I’d love to see them do that song live, I reckon it would definitely get the crowd jumping. Great cameo from ol’ Francois as well.

This next track and video are both pretty fucking phenomenal. It’s P.H. Fat with “Business Business Crash”.



We makin’ love bitches! Hahahahaha! Too awesome. That one was directed, produced, flippin ART DIRECTED even by my man @thefilmo.

Big up to him and the P.H. Fat crew, I thought that video was incredibly well-shot – the editing is fucking tight as a drum and the whole enchilada, the video and the song itself, are both fucking cool without trying hard.

Which brings us to number ONE on my list. You might have heard this one before…



You guys should have been there in the cinema to see this one on the big screen, people were loving it, great concept, awesome track and an ending that packs a helluva punch.

So all in all, I was really impressed at the standard of videos we watched last night. SA has a shiteload of artistic and musical talent in this country, such a pity there isn’t the proper infrastructure to support and develop that talent but it’s pretty plain to see we’ve come a long way.

At the risk of looking like a total douche though, there’s one last video I want to share with you guys.

It’ isn’t South African but I honestly think we aren’t far off from conceptualising and producing music videos of this calibre.

WARNING: Keep a box of tissues handy. Not that I needed any, but I know how sensitive you guys are, so yeah, I just don’t want you breaking down in front of your co-workers and stuff…

It’s Kodaline with “All I Want”.



Have a killer weekend party people.

Here’s to finding that someone if you haven’t already Winking smile



Movie Review: Searching For Sugarman

sugar_manOn Friday last week, J-Rab and I decided to forego our usual routine of rocking out together in our flat, playing music loud, making supper, drinking whisky and passing out stone-cold by 10.30.

Instead we caught the 9.40 show of Searching For Sugarman because my close friends Peggles and Graumpot had both seen it and said it was life-changingly good and I hold their opinions on movies in high regard.

Simply put, Searching For Sugarman is a documentary about the life of Rodriguez and how his music has influenced South Africa over the last forty-odd years.

So powerful was Rodriguez’ appeal in South Africa that two men in particular, Stephen ‘Sugar’ Segerman and Craig Bartholomew Strydom, dedicated a great deal of their lives to unravelling the mystery around this phenomenal and hugely enigmatic artist.



What they discovered is a story that is so heart-breaking and yet so incredibly uplifting and inspirational that it defies all logic and rationality that it actually happened.

More than that I really can’t say because a huge part of the charm of this movie for me was the fact that I went into it knowing so little about it and so little about the story of Rodriguez’ life.

What’s important is how I came out of it which I can only explain by relating the following story.

When I was 11 years old, I signed up for classical guitar lessons at my school because, like every other angst-ridden kid back in those days, I wanted to play like Kurt Cobain.

In that instrument I found shelter. I found a place that I could shut the world out of completely, I found comfort in loneliness, I found belonging in alienation, I found purpose in meaninglessness.



I got good fast because I played obsessively. The first guitar I had was on loan from the school and God knows I knocked so many dings and dents into that guitar that I was surprised the school even agreed to take it back when I sheepishly handed it to them before leaving for highschool.

I played that much. I wrote songs throughout my teenage years and played in various bands all doomed to failure because the Johnson electric guitar I bought was a total piece of junk and I couldn’t afford anything better.

My parents were also dead against any ambitions I had of becoming a rockstar, so that effectively put an end to that dream in highschool.

However, the minute I got to varsity, the dream came alive again and my playing kicked into overdrive.

It became a ritual for me – the gunshot sound of the latches on the case springing free, the fresh scent of rosewood I would breathe in through the sound hole before I began playing.



The deep-down jangling sound of the first chord I would bang out – E minor, always E minor, my favourite. I could write you a novel about that chord.

I left varsity having played a number of live solo gigs that went about as well as you could expect considering my audience was blind drunk and had never heard my material before.

But once in awhile someone would come up to me afterward and say how much they enjoyed my stuff.

This probably happened five times over the course of my “career”, but it was an amazing feeling to know that what I was putting out there had resonated so strongly in a complete stranger that they felt the need to come up to me afterwards and say, “Hey man, great set.”

Music has that power. The power to unite people from completely different times and places, completely different religions and creeds.

It’s inside us and has been since the first heartbeat thundered inside the first homo sapien. It is as primitive and imperative to the survival of our species as fire, only it burns with an intensity no inferno could ever match.



Even if you destroyed every scrap of music ever written and smashed every instrument ever made, you could never stop it. It is a force of nature made human.

Searching For Sugarman reminded me of the power music has to change lives and affirmed one of the only truths I have ever found that I know will never change no matter how old I get or how fucked up this world becomes.

Music will save us.

For that reason alone, you have to see this movie. I don’t think it’s on at the cinema for much longer, but even so, rent the DVD when it comes out, it’s an incredible affirmation of the benevolence of the human spirit and will make you unbelievably proud to be a South African.

Final verdict: 9/10



Win Tickets To Cape Town’s First Ever Bicycle Film Festival

FixieWhat the shit is a bicycle film festival? I hear you ask, and I don’t blame you for being so confused about the whole thing because I was exactly like that when I heard about it too.

Well, to answer your burning question, a “bicycle film festival” is an entire night at the movies (in this case, the Labia Theatre in Cape Town) dedicated to “two wheeled good times”.

That’s right. Short movie after short movie about bicycles, the people who ride them, the culture surrounding them and the influence they have had on us as a motherflippin’ species yo! This is other level shit guys and you need to get involved because some of these movies are going to MELT FACES.

At this stage you’re probably nursing some healthy scepticism, you’re probably thinking “an entire night of watching bicycle movies? Slick you goddamn douchebag, what in the name of sweet baby Jesus are you roping us into here?!”



And yes, at festivals like these it’s always a grab-bag of movies that are so fucking cool they change the way you look at the world forever on one hand, and movies that are a little average and could have tried a bit harder on the other.

But I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised by the high number of life-changers at this, Cape Town AND AFRICA’s, first ever BFF.

The festival comprises two screenings, the first one is from 19h00 – 21h00 and the second one is from 21h00 – 22h30 (roughly).



Most of the movies are about 10 mins long, with the exception of Line Of Sight, an hour-long movie at the end of the second screening that documents the alleycat races – high-speed bike messenger races through busy city streets captured on custom helmet-mounted cameras.

To find out more about the line-up, go to or visit the Facebook event page.


No self-respecting bikey (I just made up that term) doesn’t have a badass story to tell about the time he or she made a crucial mistake at break-neck speeds that ended with him or her flying head-first over the handlebars and eating a faceful of hot gravel.



I want NO MORE THAN THREE SENTENCES from you telling me about the most intense bike accident you ever walked away from and a DOUBLE TICKET TO BOTH SCREENINGS is yours!

Oh and did I mention the tickets also get you entrance into a SICK rooftop after-party sponsored by Redbull Studio Cape Town afterward? No? Well consider yourselves enlightened muthufukkahs!

I’ve got 5 DOUBLE TICKETS to giveaway so don’t be shy, write to Uncle Slick and let’s make this shit happen.

I’m choosing my five winners on THURSDAY MORNING –> BADA BANG!



Escape Monday: FIngers Of God

BoguslawStrempel9I’ve always thought the way smoke moves through light looks really cool. This swirling, breaking mass of particles catching the light, making badass shifting dragon-shapes.

But the way light moves through fog over sweeping, majestic landscapes also rates right up there for me when it comes to natural phenomena that look amazing.

Especially when the light breaks into individual rays. I call them Fingers Of God. Actually, J-Rab calls them that, I’m not sure what the actual term is, probably adiabatic cumulo-nimbus low pressure foggified zones (ACNLPFZAs).

Please enjoy the following pics:









Yay fog!



SlickTiger Industries Apologises For The Utter Shite Posted This Week

boardroom meetingGood day. We here at SlickTiger Industries would like to offer an official apology for the gigantic pile of utter shite featured on the “Them’s Fightin’ Words” website this week.

As a multi-national conglomerate with controlling interests in China, the Middle East and Europe, SlickTiger Industries strives at all times to make your experience on this site a pleasurable one.

Sadly, because “Slicky-T” technically started our organisation and owns 51% of the shares, we have to put up with his child-like behaviour, questionable posting habits and general bad taste because he’s threatened on numerous occasions to fire us all if we oppose him in any way.

In fact, my job would be on the line if he even knew I was posting this, but thankfully the pressures of his working life have finally gotten to him and he’s elected to spend the rest of today dead drunk.



In his absence, we’re seizing control of the site to assure you that the mindless garbage he’s posted this week (Monday’s shockingly bad song about Thanksgiving, Wednesday’s mindless video of eggs being squashed in slow motion and whatever that mangled abortion of a song was he posted yesterday) will never be repeated.

To show you we’re serious, here is a video we would like to share with you that we feel fills an important role in the general enrichment of society and the upliftment of mankind as a species.



Thank you and may you have an enjoyable weekend.



It’s Official. Dirk van der Westhuizen has made The World’s WORST MUSIC VIDEO EVER!

AbortionAnd surprise sur-fucking-prize, it’s South African. I mean holy fucking shit guys, what the fuck is going on here? I don’t know whether to laugh or fucking cry this is so bad.

Dirk van der Westhuizen, please fucking die. I mean what the fuck?! I’m not a fan of mainstream sokkie-treffer Afrikaans music at the best of times but this! Wow dude. Wow.

Autotuned up the fucking wazoo, lekker doef-doef beat in the background, shirts so fucking loud they almost, ALMOST drown out the sound of his shitty singing and THEN it gets to 00:50 and all my faith in humanity burns out in an inferno so intense it makes hell look like a cosy fire on a winter’s night.

I’m not exaggerating. Brace yourselves.



Is that even fucking legal?!

I don’t really know what else to say.

Disappointed smile

Oh, and props to @GordLaws for sharing this. If anyone asks, he was the source.