12
Nov
12

Move Over Rebecca Black, There’s A New Talentless, Whiny Teenager In Town

WestbrookeI’m sorry I have to start your guy’s Monday like this, really I am, but the video you’re about to see is just too goddamn awful not to share.

The sick, twisted fuckers who wrote and produced Rebecca Black’s classic piece of internet garbage, “Friday”, have somehow lured another unsuspecting teenage girl into their recording studio dungeon to record a song about Thanksgiving.

I swear to God, this is “Friday” all over again. Irritating, whiny teenager in too much makeup – check. Lyrics so bad you’d swear a drunk four-year old wrote them – check. Creepy black dude hanging out with teenage girls despite his restraining order – check. And then out comes the drumstick…

 

 

Wow. And just like that, Nicole Westbrook’s life is ruined.

Somebody needs to arrest the paedophiles that lure girls into these videos and lock those sick fucking basterds away for life, starting with the fucker in the turkey suit.

I blame the parents. I mean for fuck’s sake, you saw what happened to Rebecca Black, why in the fuck would you ever allow your daughter to work with the same fuckers that made ol’ Bex so unpopular she had to be taken out of highschool because the other kids wouldn’t stop teasing her about how kak “Friday” was?!

And this is basically the exact same song. “First it was Christmas, then New Year after that, then came Easter…” Christ, no shit!

I have a feeling this could provoke an even worse reaction. Singing into a drumstick that looks like a dick is something that the world will never, EVER let you forget.

It’s just. So. WRONG!

-ST


4 Responses to “Move Over Rebecca Black, There’s A New Talentless, Whiny Teenager In Town”


  1. 1 Seerower
    November 12, 2012 at 10:48 am

    Jeebus help us. I just saw a 90s style rap interlude “breaking it down” about food.

    Patrice Wilson wins the price for dumbest lyricist ever. Hands-down. He wins first, second and third prize. My labrador is typing this (the video made me claw my eyes out) and it can write better lyrics about humping legs. He of the “Friday” infamy seems to have a thing for…

    Speaking of Michael Jackson moments: A tattooed Nigerian goes to a house full of middle-class white kids in a (bad) turkey suit while none of their parents are around and he pretends to braai after which he lets a girl sing into a phallic shaped piece of meat… How do I switch off these alarm bells?

    As producer, he agreed to or suggested all of it. And the winner of the 2012 Creep of the Year floater trophy is… The video’s directors, Ian Hotchkiss and Chris Lowe, should join him in fucking off. Far off.

    Jeebus help us. The human race is doomed to dumbstruction.

    • November 13, 2012 at 9:05 am

      Hahahaha! Seerower, this is some of your finest work, hands down.

      Yes, your labrador could write better lyrics, hell, he could probably write better lyrics DRUNK and yes, all that’s missing from this video is a guest appearance from Pedo Bear jumping out of the mashed potatoes with a raging hard-on.

      This video is everything that is wrong with the human race right now.

      Fact.

      -ST

  2. 3 Mo
    November 13, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Oh. My. Poes. Words fail me. This is simply awful in every way.

  3. 4 Randolph West
    November 13, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    What the FUCK is this?


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