Archive for December, 2012


Happy 2013 From Your Tiger Pal!

fireworksHey Party People, how the hell have you guys been?! Things have been chilled out to the maximum here at SlickTiger Industries as you may well have noticed, but all that will change in 2013.

In fact, a motherflippin shitload is going to change in 2013 (the Chinese year of the snake) and I want every one of you to hold my hand, don’t be afraid, and roll with those changes.

You can fight a lot of things, and you should, but you can never fight change. Without it, life looses its lustre and our lives very quickly become stagnant and meaningless. 

“Be Brave.” That’s the SlickTiger mantra for 2013. That’s the slogan I’ll be living my life by in the coming year because holy sheeit guys, it’s do or die and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself the hard way, it’s that I’m VERY fucking bad at dying.

Each new year is a gift, a chance to start fresh, a clean slate. A lot can change in a year if you focus on your goals and stick with your guns, but I know I’m preaching to the choir here – if you read this site, you’re already a total badass.



You guys are the best audience an aspiring writer like me could ever ask for. Your praise, comments, insights, tweets and re-tweets are what keep this site, and my dreams of one day becoming a big-shot writer, alive and kicking.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank each and every one of you.

Them’s Fightin’ Words continues to grow steadily. This year I successfully topped all previous records I’ve hit on this site by klapping over 120 000 views in one year.

For a guy holding down a full-time job who bangs posts out in the evenings or first thing in the mornings before hitting the grind on a budget of R0 and an entire team of 1 man, that’s not bad.



I can only dream of what this site could be capable of with a few big cash donors, a team of content producers as fucking crazy as I am and a singular vision to be the best blog in the country.

I know if I stick with this site, if I keep the posts up and keep the good shit coming, I’ll one day be able to achieve that goal because every year that this site keeps fighting is another year the good guys win.

I’m gonna wrap this up because I don’t wanna keep you guys from whatever crazy plans you might have, but I just want you all to know that tonight I drink to everyone who contributed to those 120k views so yeah, wish me luck!

Happy 2013 Party People. Be safe, look after one another and above all else, be brave Winking smile



Your Tiger pal,



Follow The Tiger’s “Hunter’s Longest Day” Journey Live!

hunters-dry-cider-chase-the-heat-600-25990Hiya Party People! You guys must be getting really fired up for the holidays now as I’m guessing at least 80% of you are going on leave today, hells yeah!

So be honest, you aren’t going to be doing a helluva lot today right? So why not watch your Tiger pal run around Cape Town with the Hunter’s Dry crew chasing the heat from sunrise to sunset?

If the iframe I’ve embedded below works you should be able to tune into a live feed of what your Tiger pal, a bunch of other bloggers, lucky FB winners and the Hunter’s Dry team are getting up to today in REAL TIME!

We’re going to be learning how to surf, shooting clay pigeons, going to the driving range, watching ous hang-glide and partying on a BOAT YO!

Check it:



Can you guys see that? If you can’t, hit me up on Twitter (@slicktiger) and I’ll try to fix it with the help of my trusty Nokia Lumia 900 while we’re chasing the sun today.

At the end of it all, we’ll be partying in Clifton so don’t be a stranger. After all, in the great and wise words of Madonna, “Holiday-eeee, celebray-eeeet”.

Later Party People Winking smile



SlickTiger And The Gigantic kulula Paper Plane Invite

kulula inviteAs a kid, I prided myself on the fact that I could fold a paper jet that flew at such an incredible velocity that one time another kid made the mistake of stepping into its flight path and nearly lost an eye.

So naturally I was more than stoked when kulula delivered the flippin GIGANTIC paper plane you see pictured on the left which, as it turns out, doubles as an invitation to “The Most South African Flight Ever”.

This flight will comprise South Africa’s most diverse and representative set of locals who will all jet off together to celebrate kulula’s passion for travel.

But enough of that, back to the gigantic paper plane!

As you’ll see from the pictures below, the kulula ous took a lot of time to get the details of the plane right:




They even put a tail flap on this badboy, too legit!



After throwing the paper plane at a number of my colleagues and coworkers, then bringing it home and throwing it off our balcony at unsuspecting passers-by, I finally today decided to check out the FB app for The Most South African Flight,  which is

There you can officially enter the Most South African Flight competition and be a part of this historic moment when the most diverse South Africans you could imagine (“Calitzdorp clog dancers, Bloemfontein organic cheese makers, Durban bee-keepers, urban goat herders, hipster grannies, one-armed lesbian mud wrestlers from Springbok” etc.) jet off together into the sunset.

Best part of it all is that I’ll be there representing the anthropomorphised blogger / gym klapping community of lesser Vredehoek.

Bada bing bada bang!



A Blog Post From The Other Side

cape-townIf you’re still at work reading this, then I have good news for you. As a man who’s been on holiday since Friday, I can honestly say that it’s FUCKING AWESOME!

Especially if you live in Cape Town. I mean holy shit, how hot has it been the past 10 days? The city bowl is like a goddamn oven – the sun sets at 8pm and all throughout the day it’s clear skies, sunshine and good times.

I only go back to work on the 7th Jan but I’m not actually going anywhere so I’ve decided to carve my days up into “time units” that I’m only allowed to spend doing stuff that makes me happy.

A “time unit” is roughly an hour, give or take. I’ve stopped checking the time on my cell phone and am training myself to figure out what time it is by gauging the sun’s position in the sky, which I’ve found myself spending many “time units” gazing at.



The sky, as it turns out, is an infinitely fascinating place inhabited by more birds than I think you realise because you never look up.

But don’t feel bad, nobody looks up. Everybody’s always looking down to make sure they don’t fall down a manhole or something while they scuttle from one important thing to another.

Fuck that. Over the last two days I estimate I’ve expended roughly seven “time units” on the beach, lying on my back, my face shaded by our blue stripy beach umbrella with a huge, content grin on my face doing nothing but watching the sky.

That is of course until I inevitably doze off to the calming sounds of icy waves crashing on the shore, the rhythmic percussion of people playing beach bat and ball and the far off cries of lollies to make you jolly.



It’s been great guys, really. My only regret is that I haven’t dedicated more time to writing, but I’m going to work on fixing that.

In the meantime, here’s a breakdown of how I’m currently expending “time units”:

Sun at Early-Sky

  • 2 TU: Waking J-Rab up and telling each other our dreams, making delicious coffee, shuffling around in my underpants, saying good morning to the cat, eating toast / yoghurt and fruit salad, getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc.
  • 1 TU: KLAPPING GYM BOET! It’s flippin important to always klap gym ALWAYS! Other ous stop klapping gym in holidays, those ous are flippin DOFF! In the holidays is when the best time is to get a flippin’ MASSIVE and RIPPED advantage over other lazy ous. You won’t need a “getting back into shape after christmas” program boet, you’ll be the ou in the gym the other ous will check in January and be like “FLIP MAN! How’s that oke?! Jassis he looks TIT!”
  • 1 TU: Quick cold shower, protein shake, baguette sarmie-making session, packing the coolie with lots of ice and water, packing backpacks with towels, suncream and books, saying goodbye to the cat

Sun at Middle-Sky

  • 3 TU: Setting up comfy beach spot. Lay our towels down, opening the umbrella, putting on lots of suncream factor 30 (NB!) and drinking ice-cold water. After a bit we haul the sarmies out and have lunch and watch the ocean swell and crash in impossibly big waves. When we’re so hot it feels like our blood’s about to boil we dive headlong into the sea, gasping as we come up for air because the water’s so deliciously cold. We sprint out again and sprawl on our towels. Sometimes we play backgammon on the beach, we used to play beach bat and ball but we’re pretty bad at it and kept hitting the ball into people trying to relax.
  • 2 TU: Packing up from the beach and coming home. Greeting the cat and asking her how her day was. Having cold showers, checking for sunburn and applying aftersun if necessary.
  • 1 TU: Afternoon nap with the fan on. 100% guilt-free summer napping. You can’t beat this – the feeling of the glowing sun radiating from you, the saltiness of the ocean rough on your skin. Is it possible to fall asleep and wake up still smiling? Yes. Yes it is.

Sun at Low-Sky


  • 2 TU: We throw supper together. Summer is light stuff – salads, fish, easy stuff like that. The sun sinks quietly and the cobalt hue of evening engulfs the sky. I sneak up behind her while she’s cooking sometimes and put my arms around her. In this simple way we love each other.
  • 3 TU: We curl up and watch movies and series or read books or engage in other activities that shall remain nameless because my mom reads this blog. We brush teeth and sometimes floss. J-Rab falls asleep in my arms while the occasional breeze whispers through the curtains and all is quiet except for the occasional passing car in the street outside and the cat’s muffled miaws as she catches mice in her dreams

If I could hit pause right now, I swear I could live out the rest of my days in this moment and die a happy man.

Ah, what the hell.




Ice Cream Tuk-Tuk Fare For The Motherflippin’ Win!

CAPE TOWN, South Africa: Wednesday 12 December 2012, during the launch of the Nestle King Cone Tuk Tuk service during summer.
Photo by Roger SedresUp until February this year I didn’t have a clue what a tuk-tuk even was. Then we went to Thailand and rode a few and I distinctly remember thinking “SA would be a much radder country if we had a few of these…”

And now we do! And what’s even better news is that until February, if you buy a King Cone and flag down a King Cone tuk-tuk, you get to ride around Cape Town for free, eating ice cream!

I mean, that’s pretty flippin’ radass when you think about it. As individual experiences, riding in a tuk-tuk and eating ice cream both rate right up there in terms of fun things to do in summer. Now imagine doing those two things AT THE SAME TIME! Genius!

You can catch a tuk-tuk by calling 083 641 5453, tweeting @Tuksicpt or joining the BBM group (2171028A). Without a King Cone, it will cost you R40 to get around and the tuk-tuks travel along the following routes:

  • City Bowl
  • Sea Point
  • Green Point
  • Camps Bay
  • Bakoven
  • Hout Bay (ad hoc)

That’s not all. Here’s another list of bullet points that gives you the times. Pass the mustard. I’m on a roll.

  • Mon – Tues (08h30 – 17h30)
  • Wed – Sat (08h30 – 01h00)
  • Sun (08h30 – 23h00)

Pretty schweet ne?



Tuk-tuks only take two people at a time though which makes for a very romantic experience. Wind blowing through your hair, beautiful Cape Town in summer whizzing by, happy people smiling and waving, I mean DAYUM! You’d be an idiot NOT to take one.


Phew! Anyway.

Buy a King Cone. Ride a tuk-tuk.

The end.



Just How Disgusting Are You?

3314820698_disgusted_101130_02_xlargeThe answer my friends, is very fucking disgusting. I know this because of the educational video I just watched called “Humans Are Disgusting” which I’m about to share with you right now.

If you’re the type of person who washes your hands ten times a day, refuses to touch escalator rails and doesn’t use public restrooms, probably don’t watch this video because by the end of it, you will kill yourself.

Best part of the video? Only 10% of you is actually human. The other 90%? Well, you’re just gonna have to watch the video to find out about that.




So now you know kids.

Best part of this video is now I have the perfect comeback the next time somebody says “You’re a DUSGUSTING human being!”

“So the fuck are you! High five!”



Gerald Clark Becomes The Tiger’s New Favourite Artist

Gerald ClarkeI mean shit, this guy had me at stop-animated ratty old action figures trying to murder the fuck out of one another in a dirty, gritty hell-hole, THEN the chorous kicked in.

It’s foot-stompin’ good times from start to finish with this track, the kind of song that makes you want to drive screaming into that black night, firing shotgun blasts out the window of your pickup.

What can I say? Both the song below (“Black Water”) and the video speak to my dark, whisky-ravaged heart and get this, the guy’s from Stellenbosch – how fucking cool is that?! I love what’s happening in the SA music scene at the moment, it’s alive and kickin’ brother, hooo-wee!



Fucking badass right? Yes, fucking badass.

I’m working on getting more, I feel like this is the kind of dark, gritty blues my summer holiday needs.

There’s other stuff too, ballads, kinder, gentler country, this guy can do it all (here are some videos).

Keep an eye on this mofo, as you’ll see in the videos, he plays an amazing live set.



The Tiger’s Back In Town

Free-Download-Tiger-Theme-for-Windows-7-Tiger-AttackingHoly balls it feels like ages since I last posted! Thanks for hanging in there guys, it’s been a bit of an epic dry spell, but your Tiger pal’s back – bruised, battered but fighting on.

I’m writing this in PE, staring out the window of the B&B that’s been my home for the last week at a cotton-white sky as rain falls imperceptibly on the tiny, manicured garden outside.

If I had to explain how I’m feeling right now, the first words that come to mind are “wrung dry”.

That feeling when the project you’ve been working on so hard it’s consumed your every waking moment finally ends and the best you can say is, “It went ok.”

Not horrendously bad, not career-alteringly amazing, just ok. It went ok, people seemed to like it, things happened (mostly) as they were meant to and now all that’s left to do is write the debriefing reports, discuss what worked and what didn’t and pack up shop for the December holidays.



Friday is our last official day in the office, then ol’ Slicky-T is on leave until the 7th Jan bitches!

I can’t fucking wait.

I can’t fucking wait to dedicate my waking hours solely to the things I love doing – writing, creating sick content, reading, lying on packed summer beaches and soaking up the sun, swimming, training, eating well, watching movies and series, doing whatever the fuck I want to do.

More than that though, I can’t fucking wait to go back home to J-Rab.

I can’t wait to take her into my arms, breathe her in deep, hold her there and not let go. Her body pressed against mine, her head nestled in the crook of my neck, I swear to God, it’s the closest thing I’ve ever felt to home.

And wow, I can’t wait to eat some home-cooked food, made from scratch. I’ve been smashing so many take-aways that my hands smell like burger and my sweat feels like deep-fryer grease.



There have been good times, slamming tequila shots and dancing until 4am, racing around this two-horse city at ungodly hours, a sea of constantly shifting faces, smiling, laughing, swirling endlessly across dancefloors writhing with life.

And then the next day, waking up in an empty bed, aching all over from the fight you had with numerous bottles the night before. If you get a gigantic, greasy breakfast down quickly enough, you’re ok.

You throw some vodka in that orange juice. It goes down like knives, but without it you don’t stand a snowball’s chance of keeping that brekky down.

You shower and suit up, Bioplus sachets and McNab’s Energy Tabs and you’re all set.

You step out into the big bad world and you get ready to do it all again.

A week of this and you can only imagine what my liver thinks of me.



But now it’s all over and all there is left to do is jump on that big steel bird and fly back to my lady.

There are good times ahead Party People.

Sunshine and good times Winking smile



Sporadic Posting Forecast W/C 3 Dec

160608773It’s going to be a crazy, balls to the wall week for your Tiger pal this week folks so in all likelihood, he’s probably going to drop the ball a couple of times when it comes to the daily posts you’ve come to expect on TFW.

Rumours will start to spread on the interwebs like wildfire. Twitter will go nuts with critics and naysayers speculating that the Tiger has finally thrown in the towel and given up on The Dream.

Don’t believe a word of it. Next week I’ll be back to flood your lives with my unique brand of batshit-crazy content on a daily, and who knows? Maybe even BI-DAILY basis once my life has calmed down again.

Until then I’ll be in PE, running around like a madman with some SERIOUS boychays and doing what SlickTigers do best – KLAPPING IT!

So wish me luck out there and whatever happens, know that the Tiger will be back to reclaim his rightful place as king of the interwebs jungle once the madness has subsided.

Later Party People Winking smile