Archive for February, 2013


Scientifically Accurate Spider-Man Is A weird Little Asshole

Scientifically Accurate SpidermanIn keeping with this week’s theme on the site, namely posting random, disturbing internet videos so I can get away with doing very little actual writing, allow me to present to you “Scientifically Accurate Spider-Man”.

I’m pretty sure I’ll never be able to look at Spider-Man the same way again after having watched this. Turns out spiders are weird little assholes who we should definitely not model our superheroes after.

Still though, I’d pay good money to watch a scientifically accurate Spider-Man movie. It would probably be much like watching The Fly (anyone ever see that? Wow it was fucked up…) and Toby Maguire would be PERFECT for it!

Anyway. With no further ado. Here is “Scientifically Accurate Spider-Man”:



Jesus. Spiders produce milk!?

What weird little assholes!



A Post About Kissing

kissing_four_mr_120705_ssvIs there anything more intimate than a kiss? Is there any feeling more thrilling than touching your lips to the other person’s, sliding your tongue into their mouth, running it over their teeth and dislodging the spinach that’s been bugging you for the last hour?

Being able to kiss well is something any hot-blooded woman will tell you is a must for stoking up the fires of her passion.

So what I’m gonna do is show you guys two videos. The first is a guide that shows what NOT to ever do if you are kissing a woman (girls, you could also probably learn from this about how NOT to kiss a guy).

Then the second is an instructional video that will help you be the best kisser the world has ever known or your money back!

Watch closely now, here is the first video about what to never do when kissing:



Can you believe what you have just seen? I know right?! That guy has the most incredible voice I have ever heard in my life!

But guys, as you will have seen in that video, having a killer voice and a slim, athletic physique is no help when it comes to landing the perfect kiss.

Although I’m not even really sure you can call that kissing… it’s more like watching a bird feed its young…

But anyway, don’t despair! If you are struggling to figure out how to kiss properly, just watch the following video and your kissing troubles will be a thing of the past!



Did you guys all get that? If not, feel free to watch that video time and time again and don’t forget to practice with those lolly pops and ice creams!

I hope you guys have found the videos above insightful and informative. If you guys have any questions about the videos above, please feel free to leave comments in the comments section below and remember, you don’t have to supply your real name if you’re feeling shy.

Have a super day everyone! If anyone needs me I’ll be curled up in a ball rocking backwards and forwards in the corner of the room.

Until next time!



I Am SO Doing This The Next Time Gentleman’s Book Club Rolls Around

gentleman smoking a pipe“Gentleman’s whowhatnow?!” I hear you ask. Gentleman’s Book Club – it’s this idea a buddy of mine came up with and it’s so badass that pretty much everyone I’ve told about it has been like “Wow”.

Instead of swapping books, at “Gentleman’s Book Club” we bring hard drives and “share” hundreds of gigs of music, movies, series, graphic novels, games, you flippin’ NAME IT!

I told Twitter all about it a few weeks back and I got exactly three responses; one positive, one neutral and one mentioning the words “Dutch rudder”. Anyway, it was pretty cool all in all, but not half as cool as the next one where I plan to pull the exact stunt you’re about to see.

Check it:



Hahahaha! How motherflippin’ AWESOME was that?!?!

I’d give that at least a 6/10 on the awesomeness scale, maybe even a 6.5. Best part was how excited the pizza guy got when he saw them all.

That guy SO wanted to throw on a robe and join in. He was chomping at the bit to get involved in that sheeit.

So yeah, we’re definitely doing that at the next Gentleman’s Book Club. Except I want to get my hands on a severed head and a litre of fake blood from a special effects studio and put it on a silver plate on the centre of my coffee table.

The look on the pizza delivery guy’s face will be priceless! Hahahaha!

Good times I tell ya.

Good times Winking smile



Escape Monday: Madagascar’s Stone Forest

Today, this Monday in particular, is one I would actually pay good money to just skip. Hit the fast-forward button and make it 6pm in the blink of an eye – how about that? Would be awesome right?

Instead all I can offer you is this “Escape Monday” post, so pack your bags party people, we are heading to the Stone Forest of Madagascar for the rest of today, yeeeeeha!

It’s totally fine, your boss said all that important stuff you were supposed to have done today can wait until tomorrow, no sweat. So with no further ado, let’s head on down to the Bemaraha National Park in West Madagascar and get stoned in the Stone Forest.













All of the pics above were mooched off the National Geographic site (click here to see more).

Good luck with today everyone.

I think we’re all gonna need it…



Industrialstrengthshit – Another Killer Playlist From Your Tiger Pal

mutagen2It’s been a long-ass time since I last put together an 8Tracks playlist for you crazy kids to listen to and I think it’s high time I did something about that.

Problem is, my last mix (Bong Rippin’ Badassery) was so popular it was certified Gold by the 8Tracks community and has had over 3 500 plays to date, no lies.

It’s great that people liked it so much, but it’s made compiling a follow-up playlist a daunting task. Is Industrialstrengthshit, going to kick as much ass as Bong Rippin’? God only knows. But with bands like Taxi Violence, Fucked Up and Cloud Nothings in there, you’ll at least have something rad to kill the next hour with.


Industrialstrengthshit from SlickTiger on 8tracks Radio.


Have a killer weekend boys and girls.

And never forget, music will save us Winking smile



Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part xiv): Frog Fractions

300x-1I’ve been hittin’ up this pretty cool site called Indie Games for a couple of months now and checking out the titles they write about and review and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the quality of the games they feature.

That’s where I discovered the game “Frog Fractions” which has to be the fucking weirdest flash game I think I’ve ever played, and coming from a guy like me, that’s saying A LOT.

There’s no way I would have ever even attempted this game if I’d just randomly stumbled on it, based on the title and the accompanying image you see on your left. Who the hell wants to play what looks like a game to teach kids about fractions?

For starters, this game has nothing to do with fractions whatsoever. Sure, when you eat the flies and other insects that float down the screen, fractions are randomly displayed but they mean absolutely nothing.



As you eat more insects and collect fruit, your frog can purchase an assortment of bizarre power-ups (like Lock-On Targeting, a Cybernetic Brain and a Static Cling Tongue) that slowly make the game weirder and weirder .

Eventually your frog is riding a giant Chinese dragon through space and time on an adventure that will see him go to court, pilot a rocketship and become president!

Whoever made this game is either some kind of unrecognised genius or completely batshit crazy, but either way, Frog Fractions is a great game if you have a sense of humour and about an hour to kill.




TOTAL TIME WASTED: Longer than I’d care to admit. Look, the text-adventure part is hard ok?! It’s been a good 20 years since I last played a game like that.
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: I’d peg this at a cool 75% throughout. Oh no wait, except at the end, the end bit gets an 80&. Also, the music and sound effects are seriously badass
FINAL VERDICT: A game you’ll play and probably finish just to see what weird shit happens next.



An Addendum To Yesterday’s Post…

manbabiesFirst off, thank you all for the positive vibes you sent after yesterday’s post where I announced that I’m going to be a dad. It means a lot to both J-Rab and I, you guys rock.

Secondly, I just wanted to set something straight in case there are a few of you who might have instantly decided to never read this site again in fear of me becoming a “daddy blogger”.

While I am blown away at the thought of being a dad and will definitely write about fatherhood from time to time, I still intend to use this site as I always have, namely as a place where I can hang out on the interwebs and be weird.

At heart I guess I’m a lot more private than a lot of other bloggers who bang away at it every day and the same way I don’t use the site to document the intimate details of my relationship with J-Rab, I don’t see myself using it as a platform to show my girl-child off to the world.



If it gets to that point, I’m relying on you guys to set me straight. If every post is about my kid I want you  guys to shoot me. Don’t kill me, aim somewhere non-lethal like the shoulder or the head, but definitely shoot me.

As a show of good faith, here’s a badass video I found yesterday featuring possibly the world’s best narrator (with the world’s largest hands) labouring a point in an extremely colourful and energetic manner indeed (huge props to @BrettRexB for unearthing this classic piece of interwebs awesome):



So don’t worry guys, yes your Tiger pal is going to be a dad in August, but no it won’t affect this old junkyard spaceship I call a blog site.

Party on Wayne Winking smile



The Day It All Changed

summer1Back in December, J-Rab and I decided to try to go to the beach as much as humanly possible whenever the weather was calm and the skies were blue.

We’re both summer people, we love going to the beach with an umbrella and a good book, soaking up the sun for hours on end and when we’re feeling brave, bolting into the sea, diving under the waves and feeling the icy water hit us with defibrillator force.

The day it all changed was exactly like that. One minute we were totally care-free, dozing in the sun on Clifton 2nd beach, listening to the sound of people around us playing beach bat and ball while waves crashed on the shore and children screamed and laughed as their sandcastles came crashing down.

The next minute J-Rab was crashing down, sliding down the bedroom wall, her hands covering her mouth in shock as she said “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod” over and over and over again.

It only took me a second to realise what had happened and another to join J-Rab in her slug-like descent of the bedroom wall while my heart pounded like a Slipknot drum-solo and the bottom of my stomach dropped fifty feet.

“Oh Christ,” I said.

If you’d told us two hours before that this is how our day was going to end, both of us would have burst out laughing.

As it was, I was already half-way out the door, hard drive in hand and en route to Barbarian’s house to get the final episodes of the last season of Survivor when J-Rab called me frantically from the bedroom.

That was our plan for the night – make some supper, watch Survivor, curl up and drift off to sleep to the quiet hum of traffic on De Waal Drive.

But life, a sugar packet once told me, is what happens when you’re making other plans.

And life, as it turned out on that fateful day back in December, is exactly what had happened.

And no, it wasn’t like the movies, we didn’t jump up and down and scream like crazy people as the realisation washed over us. On the contrary, we remained slumped against the bedroom wall, mostly in silence, our thoughts racing as we tried to comprehend what had just happened.

I was the first one to start coming to my senses. I got up, poured myself a whisky and took this picture.

I think it aptly sums up exactly how I was feeling at that point:



Now it’s two months later and I’m writing this with a huge smile on my face because that overwhelming feeling of absolute soul-crushing terror has disappeared and in it’s place there is only joy and a sense of almost uncontainable excitement at what the future holds.

We went for the big scan yesterday, the one where they check for any defects that could indicate that something is wrong, but nothing was wrong, everything was perfect and healthy and strong.

I held J-Rab’s hand while my face lit up with this big, goofy grin from ear to ear as I stared in total bewilderment at what we today found out was our 13-week old daughter.

That’s right Party People.

Your Tiger Pal is gonna be a dad.

World, meet the heir to the throne.

We don’t have a name for her yet, but somehow SlickTigress seems fitting Winking smile



The times they are a changin’ folks.

And I have never felt more full of hope and wonder for what the future will bring.



Escape Monday: Tripped Out Oscar Nominated Short Animation

Fresh guacamoleThere is a lot wrong with the world at the moment. Initially I wanted this post to be about the Oscar Pistorius / Reeva Steenkamp tragedy by I think it’s getting enough press at the moment.

Instead, in keeping with my “Escape Monday” posts I decided to watch all of the Oscar nominated short animations after seeing Paperman a few weeks back to see if any can compare.

Sadly I found the other short animations a little lacking, with the exception of the one I’m about to show you which, while it might not be as emotionally charged as Paperman is still fun to watch and will, even if it’s for a minute, help you escape Monday.



Yeah. I can almost guarantee you you will never look at guacamole the same way again.

Later Party People.



Friday Lolz – The BEst 5 Mins You’ll Spend At Work Today (Except For When You Pack Up To Leave)

tumblr_mgsabecGzq1rytly3o1_500S’up Party People! Friday fuck yeah! How crazy has this week been? In fact how crazy has this year been? 2013 is not fucking around in any way, it’s here to kick your balls and that’s that.

So anyway, I dug up some pretty random stuff to brighten up your day today folks, hope you guys dig it, especially the first video which was doing the rounds yesterday for Valentine’s Day.

Also spare a thought for your Tiger pal today. I had root canal on Monday that is still fucking sore. God DAYUM! Anyone else out there had root canal recently? How much longer is this shit gonna last?!

Anyway. In other news. Russians are fucked up:





The girl’s expression in that one makes the pic for me.







This next one is for all the Breaking Bad fans out there.



While we’re on the subject…



And the winner iiiiiiiisssssss…



Have a killer weekend boys and girls.

Be safe out there ok?

And remember, it’s better to be a slick willy than a smooth arsehole Winking smile