Archive for the 'Tiger Guides' Category

03
Jun
11

100s Club – It’s AWN!

This weekend we man the fuck up.

 

 

We don’t sit around wrapped up in our adorable little scarves with our ironic T-shirts, skinny jeans and quaint hats, fuck no!

We don’t listen to arty-farty indie folk bands and smoke our medium shag rolleys whilst talking about some obscure bistro we found that serves the best aubergine pate we’ve EVER tasted, fuck no!

This weekend we batten down the fucking hatches with a case of quarts, that’s right, QUARTS motherfuckers, and we grow a pair of fucking huge, hairy, ugly BALLS!

So get some dirty overalls, break out the Motörhead and prepare yourselves.

25
May
11

Awesome Stray Cat Recipe

So yeah.

As you may have read in my posts here and here, J-Rab and I are struggling a bit at the moment to make ends meet.

It’s sad really, when I consider how much I fucking hate poor people, that I ironically seem to have become one.

There was a time when I couldn’t decide whether to blow my extra cash on extravagant trips overseas to exotic locales or invest it in prime beach-front real estate, it was a tough call and really used to stress me out.

 

 

27
Jan
11

Rock The Met Right

Without getting into too much detail, I’m working closely with the J&B Met this year which has been a mind-blowingly intense experience so yes, you can touch me and no, I don’t have free tickets for you.

This morning we were behind the scenes at the Expresso show that was being shot where something like 40 couples rocked up at 5 this morning dressed in their Met finery in the hope that they’d get chosen for automatic entry into both the main marquee and the Most Elegant Couple competition on the day.

20
Apr
10

The SlickTiger Guide To Raising Baby Humans

Recently I’ve noticed that a lot of people around me, friends, family work colleagues, etc. are breeding at an alarming rate. I attribute this to the general decline in quality TV programming and the decision-impairing properties of hard liquor.

Add to that potent mix the proliferation of lewd sexual material in the mainstream media and the decline in morality suffered as a result of that, and conditions for breeding baby humans start to look very favourable indeed.

 

 

18
Mar
10

How To Deal With A Dick Cupcake – a Lesson For Guys

Sometimes in life, you come back from a meeting, everything is cool, everything is going well, you’re having a great day and you get to your desk and next thing you know BAM! dick cupcake.

 

 

The thing about dick cupcakes is you never know when they’re going to sneak up on you and, even worse than that, you never know how to handle them.

I surprised myself today by handling what could have been a really embarrassing, awkward situation really well by doing the following two crucial things:

1) Remaining cool
2) Sticking by the ‘MAN CODE’

08
Mar
10

Top Four Reasons Why Drinking An Entire Bottle Of Whisky Before Work Is A Good Idea

It’s Monday morning and I know what you’re thinking.

“Fuck” is probably it, followed shortly by, “this again.”

Well, I have good news. Thanks to a miracle remedy I recently discovered, your work days no longer have to smack of mindless repetition, bullshit meetings and faking that you enjoy the company a bunch of people you wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire.

That miracle remedy, ladies and gentlemen, is whisky. Don’t believe me? Well then, read my top four reasons why drinking an entire bottle of whisky before work is a good idea.*

Ready? Atta boy! Let’s get started!

09
Feb
10

The SlickTiger Guide to Klapping Gym Boet!

As an oke with lots of mates who are also okes I can tell you straight that it’s every oke’s dream to get MASSIVE AND RIPPED and bang two hot blondes AT THE SAME TIME!

Once an oke has achieved this goal, he is happy and can spend the rest of his life sitting on the couch, drinking beer, watching sports and TELLING OTHER PEOPLE WHAT TO DO.

He has earned this right, nobody can take this right away from him and with my help you can earn this right too, but first you gotta learn the proper way to KLAP GYM BOET! or you’ll always be a loser who can’t pull hot chicks and spends friday nights at home twitting with his loser friends on the interweb.

12
Jan
10

Men, Males and Bitches – The SLickTiger Guide To Guys

If I had a buck for every time I’ve heard men complain about how complicated women are, I swear, I’d be living on a 300ft yacht, anchored off the coast of the Caribbean, sipping expensive champagne and working earnestly on my tan and that novel I’ve been planning.

 

 

However, the opposite is also true – men are equally as complicated as women, if not more so in some circumstances.

13
Nov
09

Whisky In The Jar-o: Part 2

How to make the best out of the FNB Whisky Live Festival ‘09 – a layperson’s guide

So having spent the last two nights at the FNB Whisky Live, running around ‘like a blue arsed chicken’ (as my boss The Irishman would say) with film crews and photographers, I’ve picked up a good couple of tips for people who want to get the most out of their festival experience, so if you’re heading through there, or know people who are, read on! Could change your life… 😉

 

TIP #1 Be cool Daddy-o