Posts Tagged ‘ellen degeneres

16
Feb
12

Ellen’s Little Monsters

913140-sophie-grace-brownleeAs amazingly entertaining, arbitrary and awesome as the internet is, there’s also a darker, far more sordid side to it.

Yes, you guessed it. I’m referring to the “cute factor” that turns distinctly average content into a powerful internet supervirus because we live in a sibling society where people dwell in the perpetual twilight of their childhood years, refusing point blank to grow the fuck up.

It’s Neverland, and it’s populated with sickeningly adorable characters that people LOVE simply because they evoke that “aaaawwwwww, cuuuuuuuuuttte” reaction that defies all rational logic.

Case in point – Sophia Grace Brownlee and her hilariously useless sidekick cousin.

08
Jun
10

People From Bellville: Stop Driving Up My Arse

I’m not quite sure how else to go about this, I mean seriously, what’s the fucking dealy-o here? Is Bellville populated entirely with proctologists? Why in the name of sweet, six-pound-four-ounce baby Jesus must you guys drive right up my arsehole every fucking day? Why?! WHYTHEFUCK?!

 

 

[With the notable exception of Supa Dan, he’s a legend and he drives just fine.]

At first it was cute, I just thought maybe people in Cape Town were really friendly and were getting up close and personal to come and say hello or something.

‘Look honey,’ I used to say, ‘that man whose parents are cousins has driven up to say hallo! What a friendly chap!’