Posts Tagged ‘klapping it


Okes Who Like To Klap It #22: TOOTHSTA YO YO YO!

9368_492347934167522_1313669089_nOkes, lemme tell you that I flippin flippin flippin LOVE the interwebs. Just when you think you’ve seen every kind of MASSIVE AND RIPPED charna, the interwebs shows you another MASSIVER AND MORE RIPPED CHARNA!

The oke I’m about to interduce you to is KLAPPING IT on a level that I never knowed possible. I think you know already the ou I’m talking about, none other than the flippin SHREDDED MACHINE, TOOTHSTA!

I learned of this flippin BOYCHAY through a ou who twittered me a link to the Toothsta Vleisbook page and I was like, “Schweet. Whatever. A buff charna. Whatever. I make shits bigger than this ou.”

But then I took a deeper look and what I saw were an oke who inbodied the guide what I wrote about KLAPPING GYM in every flippin way!

You ous remember that one hey? Remember the point about your charnas and how you are NOTHING in a gym situation, or even a life situation, without your charnas? Flip oke, you don’t need to tell Toothsta kak like that, check out him and his mates:







Another thing from the guide that this ou knows all about is how to klap so much protein and supplerments that his protein baffs can literally kill a ou from 20 paces.

You want to tell this charna about nutritional foods to klap for breakfast? Are you flippin joking?!

Check out this ou’s breakfast – OFF. THE. CHAIN.



So ja, I saw that and were lank impressed, but then I saw the ou’s flippin LUNCH and I nearly BAILED off my flippin’ CHAIR!



I knowed there were something missing from my flippin gym diet of 3 whey protein shake, Jack 3D, crehatine, 6 tins of tuna a day, 10 egg whites, two bags of biltong (500g), 10 chicken breasts, 2 steakes for supper and dangerous ANABOLIC STEROIDS IN MY ARSE for desert – it was actual flippin’ ROCKS!

I’ve just inboxed Toothsta to find out what kind of rocks those are, I’ll post a follow up to let you ous know and find out if you have to buy them from a shop or if you can just steal them off a mountain or some kak like that.

The other thing about this ou that I seriously admire are his indepth knowlege about BELTERS and how flippin USELESS AND LAZY they are.



I mean if that isn’t KLAPPING THE NAIL ON THE HEAD then I dunno what flippin is! Fucking hippos, I mean honestly boet…

So anyway, if you’re seriously into KLAPPING IT, LOOKING TIT and becoming a SHREDDED MACHINE then here are a link to this ou’s Facebook page, click it, like this ou and thank me later.

Oh and also, by the way, did you know this ou are going to be in the SA version of Jersey Shores?

Check THIS shit out, yo yo yo!



I rest my case. If you not KLAPPING IT, you ‘MIRIN BOET!

Toothsta, you my flippin HERO you LEGEND! Please don’t forget to inbox me back and let me know about those rocks, ok boet?




Okes WHo LIke To Klap It #21: 80s Fighting Mullet CHarna

80s mullet manIt’s a flippin’ FACT OF LIFE that sooner or later in any klap gym boychay’s life another ou is gonna check out your BUFF TAN, your TIGHT “TAP OUT” VEST your magical POWERBALANCE bracelt and decide to cause kak.

Luckilly in such a instance, your naturally uncontrollable ROID RAGE will give you a edge over your opponant, BUT it’s also lank important to know the right way to flippin MOER the ou stukkend.

That’s where the legend ou that is 80s Fighting Mullet Charna comes into the picture. This ou will choon you straight about the advantages of moering ous with a “heads-butt” and using the “no more viscious tool” than the elbow.

Watch this flippin OFF THE CHAIN ou and take notes, there WILL be a test.



I dunno about you ous but I’m so flippin RELIEFED to know that my heads-butt will ALWAYS work on a ou whether I’m 30, 50, 80 or flippin 180! Which is how long people will live once they make us into klap gym terminator robots of the future.

Also, this ou has taught me a flippin’ BUFF way of opening a spanspek that I never knowed could serve a dual purpoze of getting breakfast ready AND learning how to MOER A OKE STUKKEND.

Don’t ever tell ous that your boychay Slicky-T doesn’t help you ous out cause I’ll come find you and heads-butt you till you eating outta a straw boet!




Okes Who Like To Klap It #19: 4-Man Kanoe Charnas

1461337646 Flippin’ HELL, lemme tell you something about our Sefrican Olympics ous, they are KLAPPING IT on a whole other flippin LEVEL this year hey?!

Not since Rhino flippin moered that oke in THE GAUNTLET in season two episode five of MTN Gladiators have a sporting event ever been so flippin’ BUFF!

And then came yesterday’s 4-man kanoe Olympic challenge and all the ous in the gym were like, turn off the music, put up the TV sound and I was like are you flipppin’ stupid?! How I am supposed to stay PUMPED and KLAP my 90 kilo DUMBELL PRESS without that schweet KATY PERRY remix?!?!

But lemme tell you, it only got worser from there. After I gooied my weights in STEROID RAGE, I walked over to the TV to tear it off the flippin wall and break it on a oke’s HEAD and saw the flippin’ DUMBEST KAK IVE EVER SAW!

There was a whole buncha ous in these flippin’ gay yellow 4-man kanoes facing the WRONG FLIPPIN WAY and trying to row them with only ONE FLIPPIN’ PADDLE EACH!



Okes, I nearly kakked myself laughing. What a bunch of CHOPHEADS.

So anyways, I definitely decided to watch the 4-man backwards kanoe challenge cause when the okes bashed into each other we could all have a lag and go back to the important job of KLAPPING GYM, BOET.

But jassis. They started the challenge and the ous started klapping it faster than Spider up THE WALL in Gladiators season three episode one.

And okes, lemme tell you, straighter 4-man kanoe racing you WILL NEVER SEE. Not even the moffies in their yellow kanoes bashed into the other okes they were like flippin robots how perfectly in time they road!

Then I checked this one oke at the front, I mean the back, I mean the front of the back of the kanoe with the flippin’ BUFFEST TAN of any oke in that race and I knew that 4-man kanoe team were gonna take the gold.



“That 4-man kanoe team are gonna take the gold,” I chooned the other ous in the gym, straight and this doos was like, ja that would be kief cause they Sefricans, but oke it’s the last 500m and they coming forth.

Well, lemme tell you, that oke’s face wasn’t very good at stopping a 15 kilo DUMBELL PUNCH so ja… he’s in hospital now.

Flippin DOOS deserved it because I was right! That ou with the BUFF TAN and his kanoe buddies KLAPPED THE SHIT outta the other ous in their moffie-yellow kanoes!

The ous in the gym went mad! I never saw Sefricans so proud! I mean flip, even I got so excited I let out a protein baff that put ANOTHER OU in hospital!



At this rate Sefrica is gonna be the best at the Olympics it’s been in 100 years some oke told me, which I obviously knew was kak because MTN Gladiators only stopped in 2001 which was when they invented Olympics instead, maybe the ou meant 10 years but said it with two 0s by misteak.

I do that sometimes.

Anyway, Sefricans keep KLAPPING IT ma boychays and belters! We’ve all of us never been prouder.



Okes Who Like To Klap It #11: DASO Poster

DASOSo I’m checking out the interwebs yesterday night and I come across this DA Student Organisation news article that has a picture of this DASO poster that okes are KAKKING theirselves about.

So I check out the poster and I can INSTANTLY SEE why okes are talking about this thing all over the interwebs.

It takes a flippin CLEVER OU to be able to see through all the other stuffs that can cloud a oke’s mind when it comes to sensitive issues such as these ones, which is why, by just looking at the poster below for 3 seconds, I could check what the whole issue with it is about.

So I want you to do me a favour and look AS HARD AS YOU CAN at the picture below and tell me what is the first thing that springs into mind:



I swear to GOD, you gotta be some kind of CHOPHEAD to miss a thing so obvious!


It doesn’t surprise me at the least that this is getting so much controversy because never in a political poster in the world, EVER, have they featured a oke who likes to KLAP IT as much as this oke does.

Check his lats out! And how’s that bicep! Flip boet! This picture are OFF THE CHAIN MA BOYCHAY!

He’s also got quite a lekker belter there with him who’s got a flippin’ AMAZING tan happening. She can maybe share some of her tanning tips with that ou cause ja… he could use a bit of sun hey?

Anyway, the DASO okes are on a whole OTHER LEVEL for putting this charna on their political poster and addressing a CRUCIAL ISSUE in South African society of NOT ENOUGH OKES WHO LIKE TO KLAP IT IN POLITICS.

Arnold Schwartzenegger got to be President of California he klapped it so hard, and I think we can ALL learn a lesson from that.



DASO, you okes are flippin’ amazing. South Africa needs more posters like that one.



Okes Who Like To Klap It #5 – Paul Main Man

MAIN MANCharnas, I tell you the innernet is a flippin’ DAK place filled with epic tales of okes who like to KLAP IT like my new boychie Paul Main Man.

I first discovered about this BUFF CHARNA through some doos whining like a moffie on the mybroadband site because Paul Main Man is the kind of charna who not only KLAPS IT, but is also a cassanova with the belters and can flippin tear you a new arsehole in backyard wrestling!

Here’s the flippin moffie complaint I wasted a hour reading I took out all the kak parts):

…we needed our networking system sorted out so I could get some of the lads on computers to answer emails.

Anyway, this bloke turns up, dirty as hell with a bunch of wires and tools hanging out a shody bag with paint over it and addressed himself as Paul. This guy was excuse my language f***ing arrogant, the way he waltzed around the office checking out the women and making sexist remarks. i let it go, i thought in 3 days this piece of crap will be gone. I was wrong, the guy was incompetent, he was there for 5 days and then gave me an invoice of 28k ZAR, that f***ing crook. I rang Telkom and told them that I already paid so where does this guy come about invoicing me, they told me they had no knowledge of this and that payment was received and I need not pay a penny more. when I got off the phone to them I told that scum bag to not swindle me, the guy went bokers, he broke the computers and a printer and nearly punched one of my new employees Mat! I was fuming, i called the cops and he went on his way.
when I got home I did my research on this bloke and found that he does back yard wrestling and calls himself PAul Main Man. what a p***k. Be careful allclip_image001

All I can say to the charna who wrote this is catch a flippin WAKE UP BOET!

A oke who walzes and checks out women is a LEGEND who obviously is no stranger to banging two blonde belters AT THE SAME TIME.

He invoised you for that much money because this charna spends 9 days a week eating weights and crumbles BRICKS in his breakfast cereal he’s so flippin’ hard. You lucky he NEARLY punched you and didn’t ACTUALLY punch you or you’d be dead.

I found this guy on the interwebs and he’s my flippin HERO! Read his site okes, maybe you could learn a thing or two about the proper way to KLAP IT… except he doesn’t use steroids… that’s a little bit gay…



Paul, I gotta problem with my work innerwebs – the boss keeps telling me I’m watching too many videos and its inappropriate and kak like that, look me up charna, I need my own private ISDL line boychie!



Okes Who Like To KLAP IT #1

There’s nothing flippin’ more lekker than getting together with a bunch of okes who are MASSIVE AND RIPPED and MOERING other okes stukkend! When a oke can do this with his chommies he feels a POWERFUL sense of comrahderie because he’s one of the MANNE and no other oke can mess with him!

On Saturday I watched the tightest group of chommies I’ve seen in flippin’ AGES run up and down a field and MOER the flippin’ SHIT out of these other okes who weren’t that tight and probably could have used another 4 sessions a week in the gym, KLAPPING IT, instead of sitting around on their arses being flippin’ USELESS.



The group of chommies I’m talking about here call themselves WOLFPACK RFC and jislaaik, these guys are a buncha TUFF OUS! Saturday was their first rukby game against some moffie team who I forgot the name of and charnas, all I can say is the moffie ous lost something like 40 – 11 and it was embarrassing how kak they were.



But the thing that showed me that these okes were TIGHT, as TIGHT as okes can be was after the game they had a lekker huddle and howled like real life WOLFS and then KLAPPED PUSHUPS BOET! Lekker FAST AND HARD right there on the field!

Then after the pushups the okes jumped into an INFLATIBLE POOL and had a lekker jol together hugging each other and showing their flippin MASSIVE AND RIPPED muscles to the belters that were running around, unable to control themselves cause the okes were MONSTERS!



After that many, many cold beers were klapped and tales told of the EPIC game that was WOLFPACK RFC’s first ever rukby match and all I can say okes is well flippin’ done guys, at this rate you will KILL pretty much any team that is flippin’ dumb enough to think they can TOUCH YOU.

Keep on klapping!