Posts Tagged ‘patrick bateman


What the Emoticons You Use Say About Your Mental Health

406268It must have been a truly epic, universe-changing moment the first time man sat down to write something and after accidentally placing a colon next to a closed bracket, realised he’d just made a smiley.

“Hey guys! Guys! You gotta see what just happened!

“What, what did you do? Cure cancer? Discover a cure for AIDS? Become immortal? TELL US!”

“Something way, way better than all those things. Check it out…”


“Woooaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh… That’s… that’s fucking AWESOME MAN! It’s like, now when I’m happy, I don’t need to write ‘I’m happy’ I can just use that convenient arrangement of punctuation, hooray!”

And so on, and so on.


Suitcases and Empty Spaces

Nothing sounds like polyurethane suitcase wheels bumping over bricks. You could record that sound and play it to anyone and they’d be able to tell in a second it’s the sound of a suitcase being wheeled around, it’s the sound of someone arriving or someone leaving.

This morning it was the sound of my girlfriend starting our new life by herself. It kills me that I couldn’t be there with her, stepping onto that plane together, hand in hand to face whatever the future brings. Instead I’m left behind, sitting on my bed in a room as bare as it was before she moved in.