Posts Tagged ‘retro

04
Oct
11

Okes Who Like To Klap It #7 – Another Legwarmer Boychie!

bodybuilder2As a oke who has become one of the most predigious bloggers in the country, if not the universe, I can choon you straight that if I say something is kief, it becomes a overnight cessation.

When I wrote The SlickTiger Guide To Klapping Gym Boet (or TSTGTKB as the medias calls it), basically the next day millions of boychays and belters from the West Rand to the Western Cape stopped “doing” gym. Nobody says they “do” gym anymore, unless that person is flippin’ dof.

Okes KLAP GYM, BOET! And now, since my interwebs article last week, they do it in lekker retro-pienk moffie socks!

I was doing my fith set of 150kilo benchpress at Wembley Virgin last night, my guns firing like flippin’ twin BAZOOKAS while BELTERS pointed and laughed in disbelieve at how well my new retro-pienk moffie socks worked their circlation magic, when I saw ANOTHER CHARNA with identical moffie socks as mine, only blue!

When the BELTERS saw this oke that was it. They flippin’ nearly fell over they were laughing with so much respect at the MASSIVE weights this oke was EATING.

 

 

“Those are very sexy,” one of the BELTERS asked me, “can I borrow them for my aerobics class?”

“NO!” I flippin’ chooned her, “ARE YOU STUPID?!”

She was definitely stupid. I mean, the music was PUMPING, but I’m pretty sure she called me a ”vacuum” before she walked away with her BELTER friend obviously to find me on Vleisboek and look at the pictures of me and my charnas klapping lekker DOEF DOEF music and rubbing oil on each other to practise for the next WHOSE THE MASSIVEST COMPETITION.

 

 

Anyway, I approached this boychay to introduce myself cause I could check by the way he was inmitating me that I am his hero.

“CHARNA! SlickTiger,” I said.

“Okaay,” he said back, pretending not to know me cos oviously the poor oke was shy.

“Lekker moffie socks boet,” I said.

“Thanks. Are you also in on this thing?” he said.

“Boet, in on it?! I INVENTED IT CHARNA!” I said.

“It’s a cool idea, it’s got a lot of people talking. Did you see what they did to the Jan Van Riebeek statue?” he said.

 

 

“The what?! Boet, I dunno what the flip you’re talking about but all I can say is that with these bad boys on I’m KLAPPING IT STUKKEND! My circlation is FLIPPIN HECTIC! I’m eating weights so MASSIVE, those two BELTERS that just walked past called me a VACUUM!” I said.

“Um…” he said.

“I also can’t believe it hey? I dunno why I didn’t get these flippin’ things YEARS AGO. You go back to your sets charna. If you want a autograph or something I’ll be in the steam room,” I chooned.

It’s amazing how this craze it taking off because of me! I said it before, but I’ll say it again – if you want to seriously experience ANOTHER LEVEL OF BUFFNESS, get some moffie socks TODAY and be an early adapter like me.

KLAP IT, BOET!

-ST

29
Sep
11

Okes Who Like To Klap It #6: Legwarmer Boychay

Ronny Rockel 194Hasit ma charnas!

So I was in the gym the other day for my late night session, KLAPPING it so stukkend I had to beat the belters off me with a barbell when I saw a boychay who had taken things to THE NEXT LEVEL!

This charna walks in with the confidence of 10 men and immediately all the belters start staring at him like the oke has some kinda magical aurora and no matter how much I grunted between reps or how hard I chucked the weights against the floor, it didn’t make a flippin’ difference!

EVERYONE was watching this charna!

Then I checked the oke’s legs. The boychie was wearing lekker retro-black moffie socks that looked like something Jane Fondle used to wear back when all the chicks were GROT OTTERS!

 

 

I had a good lag checking this dof ou walking around the gym like he owned the flippin place, when all he looked like was a doos.

But then the oke started KLAPPING his sets and I’m not lying when I say the WHOLE GYM stopped to check him. I took a pic lekker sneaky James Bond style even though the police said I’m not allowed to since the insident with my camera phone in the men’s bathroom so ja… it’s a little blurry…

 

 

It was like nothing I have never seen before! The oke was EATING WEIGHTS the size of my ex-girlfriend Toni without even breaking a flippin’ sweat.

 

 

I can only surmine that the boychay’s lekker retro-black moffie socks were giving him some kind of superb human strength by forcing his circlation to SKIP HIS LEGS and go straight to focus on a oke’s most important muscles – BICEPS AND PECS!

This oke is an example to all charnas out there. I’ve already bought myself 10 PAIRS of lekker retro-pienk moffie socks to KLAP it in and lemme tell you, okes are so impressed they’ve started whistling in appreciation whenever I walk by.

Do don’t be flippin’ DOF okes, if you want to lift 60% heavier weights and therefore achieve 71% more success with the belters, listen to your pal Slicky-T and KLAP LEGWARMERS BOET!

Any oke that does that gets a post to celebrate his buffness, guaranteed!

See you in the gym Winking smile

-ST