Posts Tagged ‘tik

16
Jul
12

“Steve” Found Dead In Hillbrow Apartment

hanging-man-450Yesterday evening, just before the Carte Blanche death-knoll sounded on SA TV’s across the country, police were called to the scene of an apparent suicide in the Hillbrow area.

Disgruntled Beep Bank employee “Steve” was found hanging in his flat by his landlord who had received complaints of a “bad smell” coming from the apartment.

“The minute that smell hit me, I knew that Steve had offed himself,” said Themba Sisolezi, Steve’s neighbour. “Everyone hated the guy, including me. I’m so glad he’s dead, everyone is.”

Steve, who was appointed to the acquisition and retention branch of Beep Bank just over a year ago, was ostracised on a daily basis by every human he came into contact with because Beep Bank don’t offer a banking app or free iPads.

26
Jul
11

The Amy Winehouse Post

Amy Winehouse  Nice Photos  3Throughout most of her life, I wished Amy Winehouse would just hurry up and die already. For nearly three years she dominated local and international tabloids, every image of her somehow looking worse than the last.

It was like one of those wildlife documentaries where the film makers follow some poor, sick animal that’s dying in the wild and instead of helping it, they just film it getting weaker and weaker until it croaks.

It was clear to me that there was absolutely no hope for her. Her life degenerated to the point where all she seemed capable of doing was getting totally wasted and babbling incoherently like a bergie on a tik binge.