Posts Tagged ‘thailand

07
Mar
12

Siff Ciggy Warnings

cigswarningsSouth African smokers should count their lucky stars (strikes?) we don’t have graphic warnings on the cigarette boxes in this country.

Until that day comes, I say go wild! Light up and puff away in a happy little cloud of blue / grey smoke, blissfully unaware of what lies ahead for the pack-a-day smoker 40 years from now.

For our compadres in Thailand it’s a little more difficult to turn a blind eye to the damage smoking does because every box of cigarettes sold there looks like the editors of rotten.com supplied the artwork.

Yeah. Probably don’t read the rest of this.

It wasn’t until we were in the duty free airport heading home that we actually got a good look at the cigarette boxes in Thailand.

Any Dunhill smokers out there? If this doesn’t make you quit nothing will…

 

 

What in the name of everything holy are they putting in the goddamn cigarettes over there?!

Are you telling me that just smoking did that to people? Wow. I feel ill.

And if smoking did do that, then surely at some point you must wake up and think to yourself, “Huh. I seem to have a freakishly large, oozing sore on the right hand side of my face that gets steadily worse every time I smoke. I’d better cut down a little…”

If nothing else, those pictures are a powerful testament to the self-destructive nature of addiction.

Forget what I said earlier. Let’s none of us get to that point, ok?

You’re all too damn ridiculously good-looking to go down that road.

Siff.

-ST

05
Mar
12

The Tiger Survives Thailand

Thailand1Wattup party people!

It’s been way too long since my last post but that’s because I’ve been in THAILAND, soaking up the sunshine, drinking ice-cold coconuts and playing “spot the ladyboy” on Bangla Road.

See, last year J-Rab and I won a travel voucher worth R20 000 from Nandos which we initially thought was just for Africa, but later found out was for anywhere in the world.

So we bought a 7 night stay at the Kata Palm Beach Resort in Phuket, jumped on a plane Monday a week ago and began what turned out to be the SICKEST holiday we’ve ever had.

 

 

Phuket is a jungle paradise. It’s surrounded by 32 islands and a turquoise ocean that is not only crystal clear but sits at a balmy 28 degrees, making it warm enough that you can float around for hours and cool enough that if you dive down deep you can escape the sweltering heat that blazes relentlessly, making everyone shiny with a permanent sheen of sweat.

From the minute we stepped out of the airport until the minute we boarded the plane to leave again, is was literally boiling hot. It rained once when we were driving back to the airport, otherwise everyday was an average of 32 degrees and so humid it felt like you were walking around in an oven.

It was glorious! You basically just move from one body of water to the next – ocean, hotel swimming pool, cold shower, ocean again – while your skin gets visibly browner with each day.

 

 

So yeah, it’s a jungle paradise, the weather is SICK, the beaches are stunning and it’s ridiculous how much there is to see and do. The only one slight drawback though is how many millions and millions of tourists and just people in general are packed onto Phuket.

Because of this, at any given time, the place is sheer chaos. Everything from the anarchic roads to the seemingly haphazard way the whole of Phuket is built exudes this vibe of infectious craziness and energy that sparks in the air and makes you feel ALIVE, BROTHER!

It’s madness. Just take a 20 minute stroll down a road in Kata and you’ll be offered 9 tuk-tuk rides, 12 Thai massages, 6 suits (so random), 7 banana pancakes and 4 coconuts.

 

 

You’ll see easily 100 scooters zipping along the roads and 200 sunburned tourists ambling aimlessly looking ugly and bored shitless (there are exceptions to every rule, but generally I hated the shit out of the other tourists. Overweight, old and bored-looking, I wanted to slap them upside the head and be like, “Smile you goddamn miserable pricks! You’re in paradise!”).

I don’t really know where to start writing about our experience in Phuket, so I think I’ll just let the pictures do the talking instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Besides the 900+ pics we took, I also filmed about two hours of random, crazy shit that I’m hoping to cut up into a Tiger Life video (yeah, remember those?) which will give you guys a much better sense of what we got up to.

If you haven’t been to Thailand already, for God’s sake get your shit together and go there. Once your flights and accomodation are taken care of, it’s dirt cheap once you land there. Save up R5k and it will easily last you a week in Phuket.

Hope you enjoyed the pics. Now back to work ya lazy bum!

-ST

17
Feb
12

SlickTiger Wins At Twitter, Gets Emotional

mindblownThose of you who follow me on Twitter will know this already, but for the rest of you, you might want to sit down because what I’m about to tell you WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!

For decades people have speculated that if anyone had to pass 999 followers on Twitter, it might cause a similar scenario that was predicted when the year 2000 approached ie. a complete technological meltdown.

Well, I am simultaneously proud and relieved to tell you that as of 18h16 yesterday (UTC/GMT +2) I reached exactly 1000 followers on Twitter and from what I can tell, technology everywhere is FINE.

By my estimate, I now have the most Twitter followers of anyone in the world.

Not even big name celebrities like Tina Yothers (“Family Ties”, 340 followers), Andrew Rubin (“Police Academy” 479 followers) or Rodney Dangerfield (“Rusty: A Dog’s Tale”, dead) can boast as many followers as ME, your Tiger pal.

 

 

But at the same time, reaching this new high in online super-stardom has made me pause, become emotional and think really hard about the people who follow me.

Who are you?

Who are you people and why are you following me?

Do you think I have all the answers? That because I’ve reached the absolute pinnacle of online influence and success that I’m some kind of messiah? Some kind of prophet put on earth to guide you, protect you and give your life meaning and direction?

 

 

I didn’t ever think I could be a person like that. But winning at Twitter has changed me in ways I don’t even know yet. So yeah, all I want to say is that if you want to I dunno, make some kind of religion out of me or something, I’m ok with that.

But if you don’t mind just holding back until I’m back from Thailand (remember that prize I won? Turns out it was for anywhere in the world so yeah, we’re leaving for Thailand on Monday, wa-hoo!), that would be great.

 

 

I mean sure, work a bit on the basic principles of the religion (there is plenty of material on the site to help you with this) and maybe sketch out a few ground rules, but please don’t get into the part where you hand over vast amounts of money / material possessions / your firstborn until I’m back, ok?

Ok. Great. I’m glad we had this chat.

See you crazy cats when I’m back yo!

Amen.

-ST