Archive for the 'Klapping It' Category

29
May
14

Why Crossfit Is For Flippin CHOPHEADS

Crossfit FAILLook, I don’t need to tell you guys, you ous are on the same waveslength as yuour pel Slicky-T, but crossfit is for serious flippin CHOPHEADS I mean come off it man, what the hell is WRONG with these ous?!

There’s only one way to train and that’s by klapping MONSTER weights, chowing enough protein to make your kidneys flippin EXPLODE and injecting FATAL DOSES of roids boet!

All this flippin squat, pull-up, flippin moff crossfit stuffs is for ous who don’t have the flippin’ BALLS to eat weights, put there bodies on the line EVERYDAY and have FULL-ON heart attacks by the time they reach their mid-40s.

28
May
14

Okes Who Like To Klap It #23: Flippin’ BUFF Laaities!

article-2639745-1E37327500000578-599_634x476Ma charnas and belters it’s been a helluva long flippin time. And during that time your Tiger pel has seen a lotta KLAP GYM type of CHOPHEADS come onto the interwebs and try be like the Tiger, but you ous know.

There is only ONE TIGER in the jungle, the original charna, the GODFATHER of KLAPPING IT and he’s name is SLICKY-T. The other dooses will come and go, but THIS DOOS is here to stay.

Now that thats sorted, I feel like it’s my duty to share something with you ous that I never knowed was even humanly possibly. Laaities – irrhitating little shitheads who run around breaking all your stuff and kakking there pant right? WRONG!

12
Nov
13

Team Tiger Saves Balls

DDR5We did it okes. Team Tiger And The Buff Charnas got together for a good cause and ran for our balls at the DAREdevil Run 2013. To all the ous who joined Team Tiger, you charnas are LEGENDS!

In fact, to all the ous who ran the DAREdevil Run in Cape Town, you are the BUFFEST ous in the land. To go out their in a red speedo and run up and down Seapoint promenade getting wolve whistles takes BALLS.

I must say though, the actual RUNNING part was a flippin’ weird sensation for me. After 10 minutes it was like a ou was pouring flippin BATTERY ACID into my legs, yirre!

08
Nov
13

Today’s The Day We Run For Our Balls, Boet

DaredevilsIn history, ous remember the heroes. They remember the 300 charnas with lekker six packs and red cloaks kicking other ous down a hole because they don’t know that that was SPARTA.

They remember that GLADIATOR oke what told ous to unleash hell and then MOERED THE KAK out of any charna dumb enough to try his flippin luck.

And they remember that Titanic oke, what got Kate Winslet (BELTER) to show us all her boobs when he painted her like one of his French Binnets and then froze to death in the flippin sea because he was a gentleman and wanted her to float on the door by herself.

06
Nov
13

Still Time To Be A Buff Charna For Your Balls

Daredevil 1_0Hazit ous! First order of business is first, the original button I put in the last post about joining Team Tiger And The Buff Charnas had a problem in that their were typos in the tweet it made and kak.

It also sent a tweet that didn’t copy ME, Slicky-T in it so if you joined the team (I can see FOUR okes has clicked the button so far) just write your name in the comments below. Shot my bruddahs!

If you HAVEN’T joined Team Tiger And The Buff Charnas to run around in a lekker red speedo looking tit on Friday for the DAREdevil Run 2013, then here is youre chance!

29
Oct
13

Join Team Tiger And The BUFF CHARNAS And Run For Your Balls

DDDR_3_Medium_280_210_80auto_sI once rote in the SlickTiger Guide To Klapping Gym, Boet that in a gym situhation, a oke is NOTHING without his charnas but in a LIFE situhation, a oke is NOTHING without his balls.

A oke’s balls contains all his POWER. Think about it, what is in balls? SPERM, boet! And what is in sperm? PROTEIN, boet! And what does protein make? MUSCLES, boet!

So what does a oke need to seriously klap it on a other level? BALLS, CHARNA! It’s time to catch a flippin WAKE UP, you gotta look after your balls and THAT’S why you’re gonna join Team Tiger And The Buff Charnas and run for your balls in a red speedo.

06
Jun
13

Okes Who Like To Klap It #22: TOOTHSTA YO YO YO!

9368_492347934167522_1313669089_nOkes, lemme tell you that I flippin flippin flippin LOVE the interwebs. Just when you think you’ve seen every kind of MASSIVE AND RIPPED charna, the interwebs shows you another MASSIVER AND MORE RIPPED CHARNA!

The oke I’m about to interduce you to is KLAPPING IT on a level that I never knowed possible. I think you know already the ou I’m talking about, none other than the flippin SHREDDED MACHINE, TOOTHSTA!

I learned of this flippin BOYCHAY through a ou who twittered me a link to the Toothsta Vleisbook page and I was like, “Schweet. Whatever. A buff charna. Whatever. I make shits bigger than this ou.”

26
Mar
13

Okes WHo LIke To Klap It #21: 80s Fighting Mullet CHarna

80s mullet manIt’s a flippin’ FACT OF LIFE that sooner or later in any klap gym boychay’s life another ou is gonna check out your BUFF TAN, your TIGHT “TAP OUT” VEST your magical POWERBALANCE bracelt and decide to cause kak.

Luckilly in such a instance, your naturally uncontrollable ROID RAGE will give you a edge over your opponant, BUT it’s also lank important to know the right way to flippin MOER the ou stukkend.

That’s where the legend ou that is 80s Fighting Mullet Charna comes into the picture. This ou will choon you straight about the advantages of moering ous with a “heads-butt” and using the “no more viscious tool” than the elbow.

01
Feb
13

Okes Who Like To Klap It #20: Brett van Rooyen

Brett's HeadI tell you, time flys hey okes? Jus-laaik, I can remember back in 2010 when I first wrote the “SlickTiger Guide To Klapping Gym Boet” and ous were like, “Boedie, you have written the gym BIBLE charna!”

One of those ous was a lekker charna of mine Brett van Rooyen who wrote to me and was like, “Slick, I’m a lank skinny oke what can’t pull lekker cherries. Please help me boet, I wanna be exactly like YOU!”

So of course being the good oke that I am I was like, “Brett my boedie, don’t SQUEEZE A SALTIE, lemme come pick you up, I’ll take you vest shopping, then we can grab schweet spray tans, smash lekker dangerous anabolic steroids into our butts and KLAP SOME GYM, BOET!”

28
Jan
13

SlickTiger Klaps The Most Seffrican Flight, Has The Jol Of His LIFE!

Lead imageJus-LAAIK have I just flied back form the flippin’ BUFFEST event IN THE LAND or what! How buff am I talking about here?

Boedie, I’m talking about going up to the city of ous who INVENTED klapping gym, I’m talking about staying in a flippin SIX-STAR hotel, klapping flippin buff-it PRAWNS for supper, flippin GAMBLING with a other ou’s money, getting showferred to Lanzeria airport and meeting my pel Jacque Perrow!

THEN I’m talking about KLAPPING the most Seffrican flight to ever be flied, having a lag at Kurt Schoonrad and getting lekker emotional when secret KWAAIER OUS start singing the Seffrican national song 10,000,0000km above land.