Posts Tagged ‘insanity

14
Feb
11

House Warming Shenanigans

Here’s a quick, honest breakdown of what happens when you invite people to a party you’re throwing according to racial and geographic breakdown and of course, personal experience.

If you’re in Joburg and you invite 20 white friends to a party, 13 actually show up. Conversely, if you invite 7 black friends, about 15 – 20 show up of which, somehow, you only know 3.

In Cape Town, it doesn’t matter if they’re black, white, Indian, Chinese or Austro-Hungarian, you invite 20 people to a party, 2 show up and they’re three hours late.

By those standards, the housewarming we threw on Friday night was a roaring success. Here’s a couple pics of the insanity that went down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After that point, all kinds of shit went down, so let’s just leave it at that shall we? My mom reads this blog.

It was a killer, killer party and went on until some ungodly hour at which point people started dropping like flies, but not before we got this pic of the Slain Barbarian.

 

 

And now it’s Monday and life continues from where it left off, in my cubicle somewhere, meek and mild.

And people will ask me how my weekend was and what the hell will I tell them?

“Fine and yours?”

Stay tuned for part 2 at Sidewalk Cafe the day after, where we had beer for breakfast, tequila for dessert and dug our heels in for a good five hours of Bloody Marys.

Until then…

-ST

18
Nov
10

The Culprits!

If you read this blog regularly (seek help) you might have stumbled on the post I wrote awhile back about how living in the shit shack J-Rab and I have ended up in is driving us completely nuts.

Well, a big part of that were the owls. Right outside our wooden shed were a pair of Spotted Eagle Owls that would hoot, loud as fuck, all through the night until J-Rab and I were driven totally shit-your-pants mad.

Eventually we resorted to standing on our balcony at 2 in the morning and trying to pelt the fuckers with onions because that’s all we could find to throw.

Good thing we don’t have neighbours because trust me, if they had to see me at 2 in the morning, carrying on like an asylum escapee on our balcony, firing onions into the darkness whilst screaming, “FUCK YOU OWL!” they’d definitely call the police.

Anyway, turns out the little bastards were hooting incessantly because they had babies.

Imagine my excitement. MORE fucking owls.

Here’s a pic I snapped of momma owl with baby owl standing in front of her, staring at me with this arrogant “that’s right, I’ma keep you up ALL NIGHT, BITCH!” look on his face.

 

 

In my mind I quietly reached for a 9ml under my seat, took aim and laughed maniacally as both owls exploded in a cloud of brown / black feathers.

And I used to be such a nice guy.

-ST