Posts Tagged ‘wordpress


Are SA Internet Radio Stations Fluffing Their Listenership Figures?

detectivejpgAs a blogger I often find myself reading stats from other sites and wondering how, in the name of all that is holy, they manage to get numbers like that.

It’s a subjective topic at the best of times because if I look at this site, the figures WordPress gives me vs Google Analytics vs Afrigator are all different.

This creates a grey area that I think some bloggers exploit to secure advertising for their blogs, but that’s just my opinion backed up by casual observations and my gut feeling. When it comes to internet radio stations in SA however, the evidence that they’re fluffing their figures is far more compelling…

Enter 32 year old IT Specialist Shaun Dewberry who decided to do some digging when it comes to the listenership figures the stations 2OceansVibe Radio, Ballz Internet Radio and KingfisherFM are publishing (read his report here before you read the rest of this post).

All I can say is what he uncovered was very interesting to say the least.

Among other things, Shaun discovered that the Shoutcast servers that are hosting all three of those stations each have set a maximum limit of listeners that would seem to be substantially  lower than the number of listeners they claim to get.

Here’s a table to illustrate this point:




Ballz Visual Radio 8 500 (calculated from 51 000 between 12 and 6pm)

3 000

Kingfisher FM 26 (calculated from 20 000 in the month of March)


2OceansVibe Radio 60 000 (calculated from nothing. This is the figure 2OceansVibe claims)



In the case of Kingfisher FM, their figures are plausible so from here on in I’ll stop picking on them. Shame.

As for Ballz, sure their hourly figures are higher than their maximum set number of listeners, but we need to account for the fact that listeners tune in and out.

In other words, for them to get 8 500 listeners in an hour that means that every 20 minutes 2 833 listeners need to tune in and out which, though it might sound like a high number, is believable considering that they have some big names like Sasha Martinengo, Darren Scott and a host of scantily clad “Weather Girls” (thanks for the idea 2OceansVibe!) driving listenership.

HOWEVER, for 2Oceansvibe Radio to do the numbers they have published according to their 150 listener limit, it would mean that roughly 16 people would have to tune out and 16 new ones tune in every second for the full hour.

That’s if you listen for one second. If the average listener tunes in for 5 minutes, that figure rockets to 5 000 people tuning in and 5 000 tuning out every 5 minutes or 20 000 people tuning in and out every 20 minutes if you want to compare this figure with Ballz Radio’s modest 2 833 during the same time frame.

Is that fish I smell…?



Of course, all of this is based on the assumption that the maximum possible number of people are listening to these stations all the time. So yeah, in layman’s terms, they are based on your Tiger pal giving these stations the benefit of the doubt.

When Shaun actually tracked the listenership numbers that Shoutcast was reporting over the course of the past week he found that on average, Ballz Radio peaks at about 210 listeners per day and 2OceansVibe peaks at just under 40!


Now before you go grabbing your torches and pitchforks, I’d like to conclude by pointing out two simple facts before I bow out – firstly I am not passing judgement on either of these internet radio stations until they are offered an opportunity to properly address Shaun’s report and provide substantial evidence to support how they got to the numbers they did.

And secondly, phoning Shaun up and bullying him on your show is NOT the way to properly address this issue and to be perfectly honest, just makes you look more guilty.



So yeah, Ballz and 2Oceansvibe, over to you guys.



Do NOT Fuck With The Melissa Riso Police!

If the definition of insanity is hitting your head repeatedly against a wall and expecting a different result every time then I must be one of the craziest fuckers I know, or the dumbest, I haven’t quite figured that one out yet…



Loyal readers of this junkyard site might recall a post I put up last year that featured the gorgeous model and sometimes porn star Melissa Riso, you can read the original here.

Well, a couple months after I posted that, I got banned from posting on my own site by WordPress because they had been issued a nasty letter from the Melissa Riso Police (henceforth referred to as the MRP) accusing me of copyright infringement.

WordPress very kindly removed the image of her I had used and restored my rights to post on the site three days later, the fascist assholes.

So naturally, once my rights to post on my own goddamn site had been restored, the first thing I did was put up another picture of Melissa Riso as a kind of misguided ‘fuck you’ to the MPR.



Read all about that here.

In a career of posting things I probably shouldn’t, that single move really stands out as by far the most retarded thing I’ve ever done.

Why the fuck I did that, I have no idea, but holy shot I really wish I hadn’t.

Her lawyers didn’t bother going to WordPress this time around, they went directly to me.

I’m being sued for $65 000.

I don’t know whether to cry or laugh. The letter was emailed through this morning, so there’s always the chance that it’s some kind of very fucked up, twisted April fool’s joke (please dear god) but I forwarded it immediately to my uncle who’s a legal advisor and he says from what he can tell, it’s 100% legit.

My uncle says there’s a chance if we plead guilty to the charges they’re laying against me (basically copyright infringement, using her image without the express permission of her or her agency, engaging in “malicious slander” against her, etc.) they might reduce the amount they’re suing me for, but it would probably also mean taking this site down to placate the fucking fuckers.

I probably shouldn’t even be writing this, but at this stage who the fuck cares? What could they possibly do to me that’s worse than being sued for what works out to be R439,222.68?



Where the fuck am I even going to find that kind of money?! I mean seriously?! What a load of total fucking bullshit!

If anyone knows any shit hot entertainment lawyers that can help a nigga out, I could seriously use one right about now. This whole thing just seems really unnecessary and nasty. I know I can be an asshole at times, but c’mon! I’m being sued for nearly half a fucking million rand! Nobody deserves that!

Anyway. Have a great weekend. If anyone needs me I’ll be at the bar, putting a sizeable dent in a bottle of whatever whisky I can get my hands on.

The End.





…ps April Fools 😉


The Melissa Riso Police Nailed Me!

You guys might have noticed that last week Friday there was nothing on this site which may have seemed a little weird if you’re a regular reader and had noticed that I’ve gotten into a badass routine of posting every week day, sometimes more than once!

Well kids, the reason why there was no post last week Friday was because WordPress had BANNED me from posting on my own goddamn site! Can you believe that shit?!

I had banged out a seriously inspiring, thought-provoking post about immortality (still saved in my drafts, I’ll probably publish it later this week) and the second I tried to upload it I got the following bullshit message:



So I jump into my site’s back-end (God that sounded wrong) and the following message is sitting there, glaring at me like my boss when I show up at work drunk:

“Warning: We have a concern about some of the content on your blog. Please click here to contact us as soon as possible to resolve the issue and re-enable posting.”

It felt like I’d been called into the headmaster’s office for innocently lifting the cute English teacher’s skirt with a stick to see if she was wearing undies or not (she wasn’t).

It later transpired that WordPress had been served a legal notice because I’d posted a picture of this belter called Melissa Riso last year in October and I was in violation of some copyright law or other.

So they unceremoniously axed the picture from my FTP server and let me post on the site again. Thanks WordPress. You just made me realise for once and for all that it’s time to host this crazy-assed site elsewhere.

Until then, here’s a picture of a belter I found on the internet, not sure if you know her? Name of Melissa somebody-or-other Winking smile



So yeah, if there’s no post tomorrow you know why.