Archive for July 20th, 2010


Vote Slick

Any day now nominations for the SA Blog Awards 2010 will be officially opened which means over the next few weeks you can pretty much bet your ass you’ll be bombarded with posts on all your favourite blogs begging you shamelessly to vote for them in this year’s Awards.

Question you gotta ask yourself when you’re voting for all those other pricks though is “If I had to get into a barfight with 10 angry, roid-fuelled Lebanese bouncers, would this blogger have my back?”



And the answer you’ll find in most cases is no. He won’t have your back, he doesn’t care about you because all you are to him is another hit on his site. You’re just a number to him, he wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.

I’m different from those other internet dorks. I’d piss on you! I’d piss all over you! You guys aren’t just numbers to me, you’re my imaginary internet friends and if that ain’t worth something, then I don’t know what the fuck is.

I’m gonna need a little help on this one though cause I’m going in there guns blazin’:

  • Most Humorous South African Blog
  • Best Post On A South African Blog (KLAPPING GYM BOET!)
  • Best Original Writing On A South African Blog
  • Best New Blog
  • Best Music Blog
  • Best Personal Blog and of course
  • Best South African Blog Of The Year

I’ll be honest, I’d like nothing more than to walk into that awards ceremony and walk out with an armload of awards while the rest of the blogging fraternity of this country is left standing there thinking “Who the fuck is that guy?”

Wouldn’t that be funny? Wouldn’t that be a moment straight out of a movie? Some guy with his scrapyard blogsite that he cobbled together with hardly more than a WordPress theme and a whole lot of heart goes toe to toe with all the big players out there with their sites loaded to the gills with advertisers and sponsors and actually beats them!? Wouldn’t that be fucking cool?

A vote for me is a vote for every crazy bastard out there who’s ever picked a fight with the biggest, meanest guy in the bar and won. It’s a vote for every true artist out there who’s had to shelve their dreams so they could get a crummy day job in a cubicle farm to pay their bills. It’s a vote for the guy who, no matter how many times he gets beaten down, gets back up and carries on fighting because he knows deep down that unless you’re fighting for something, you aren’t living for anything.



I’ve sweated blood for this blog, no shit. I’ve woken up early, stayed up late, made my girlfriend pretend to be dead to shoot a video about necrophilia, stolen time from work, stolen time from my friends and God knows who else to write the content that I do for this site and yeah, some of it’s crap, but some of it’s good too and correct me if I’m wrong, but we’ve had some good laughs over the last few months right?

I got this one shot to step in there outta nowhere and blow everyone, everyone the fuck away and so I’m asking you, one goddamn crazy jungle cat to the next, will you help me do that?

They haven’t officially opened the voting yet for the nominations phase, but when they do, the URL is:

Let’s show ‘em how it feels to get taken down by the undercat 😉