Posts Tagged ‘awesome work time waster


Awesome Work Time-Wasters part XIIi: Surgeon Simulator

surgeon_simulatorI must be honest, if there’s one thing I’ve always wanted to do in life, that’s drink half a bottle of rubbing alcohol, smoke a bulb of tik, drop three or four valium and perform open-heart surgery on someone.

Now, thanks to the game “Surgeon Simulator” you can do just that! Sure, the game starts after your character has already taken everything listed above but yeah, good luck controlling that fucker in any way.

I’ve given this game at least four or five tries with almost every one either ending in uncontrollable laughter or the kind of frustration and hopeless despair that leads people to take industrial strength prescription tranquilisers.

Here’s a screengrab from the game so you can see what we’re dealing with here:



The control system is the most revolutionary in any game I’ve ever played in that the keys “a”, “w”, “e” and “r” represent the surgeon’s fingers with spacebar being used to control the thumb.

The mouse controls the hand’s movement so that you can carefully position it to knock everything over, leave dangerous surgical instruments in the patient’s chest cavity and remove vital organs with the accuracy and precision of one of those claws that you use to pick up fluffy toys at the arcade at Gold Reef City.



If you can actually complete this game, then you are a true champion amongst men and can safely count yourself within the top 1% of gamers the world over.


TOTAL TIME WASTED: A good 40mins, but I keep coming back for some unknown reason…
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: 80% on the first go, 70% on the second, 50% the time after and about –50% the time after that.
FINAL VERDICT: Kids, drugs are harmful and not to be used without strict adult supervision or in conjunction with open-heart surgery EVER.



Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part V)

Mr Runner4Christ, I think I just hit the motherload of time wasters!

I started trying to write this post at about 11 and it’s now pretty much 2.30 and I’m STILL playing the fucking time-waster I found.

Quick disclaimer before we continue, I took leave today, otherwise I probably would have been fired outright for killing so much time playing this game.

The game’s called “Mr Runner 2” and basically all you do is mission through one level after the next at insane speeds trying to avoid getting skewered alive or plummeting to your death.

The graphics aren’t too bad, but my god the gameplay is addictive as smoking heroin! It’s your typical “starts-out-all-sunny-happy-and-easy” kind of game and you’ll find it’s dead simple to clock up gold and platinum medals in the first world without really breaking a sweat, but by the time you get to world 2, shit starts getting pretty goddamn challenging.

I’ve only made it to the third level on world 3, but that’s as far as I’m going because it’s fucking mid afternoon and I’m still lying in bed, fucking starving and feeling like I’ve just killed a lot of time I’ll never, never, never get back.



The challenge here is finish the game. Get through the levels to world 3 and actually finish it and I’ll be seriously impressed.

The gauntlet has been thrown down, gentlemen! Now kill the rest of the afternoon waiting for tomorrow’s public holiday to kick in and thank me later.

TOTAL TIME WASTED: 3 fucking hours!
FINAL VERDICT: Much like crack, you’ll convince yourself that one more game won’t hurt, I mean, you can stop whenever you want, right?



Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part II)

No sooner do I post the last epic work time waster than this total badass who goes by the name of Clive Robertson sends me a mail with a game that instantly brought on a flashback of when I was about 8 years old and I used to dick around on my dad’s 386 with Windows 3.1.

I think you know what I’m talking about here people.




Hit this link to check out this classic “blast-everything-around-you-into-tiny-bits-but-for-fuck’s-sake-avoid-actually-moving-in-any-direction-AT-ALL-COSTS” game all reskinned in shiny new graphics.

Some nice new additions I dug were:

  • Hitting ’L’ to automatically skip to later levels
  • Hitting ‘R’ to switch between modern and retro graphics, and
  • Hitting ‘A’ to add asteroids and ‘E’ to add enemy ships (skies the limit!)

Of course, after about 5 minutes of playing this classic you might be bored stiff, but the nostalgia value makes it worth at least clicking that link for old time’s sake.

TOTAL TIME WASTED: 5 – 10 mins
FINAL VERDICT: Mildly entertaining. *Just* beats doing actual work

I think we can do better here people…



SlickTiger Industries presents: Awesome Work Time-Wasters!

Think about how much shit we can DO in one day thanks to the advent of the internet, emails and direct messaging communication.

I mean holy shit, what took our grandparents two weeks to do (ie. writing, posting and receiving a letter) we can now hammer out in literally 3 minutes and we don’t even have to use VOWELS mthrfkkr!

But where’s the goddamn upside I ask you with tears in my eyes? All that time that we’re saving ourselves, we just fill it with more work, what a load!

Well, I say it’s high time we stick it to the man and take back what is rightfully ours! From now on every time I find an awesome work time-waster I’m posting the link up on this site and filing it in the new category I’ve created on the right called “Awesome Work Time-Wasters”.

Hold my hand. Let’s goof off for awhile. Starting with this little gem I found the other day called “Solipskier”.



Hit this link and make sure no one’s walking behind you as you jam this fucking intense stickman / skiing game and try to break my all time high score of 1,173,996 (see below for proof).



And feel free to submit your favourite time wasters as well ( and let’s see how quickly we can all get fired!