Archive for March 22nd, 2011


Rebecca Black Is Everything That Is Wrong With The World

Men don’t rule the world. We haven’t for awhile now. Sometime during the 80s we began to relinquish control to women as they marched into high-powered, high-paying executive jobs with their colossal perms and shoulder pads that would make even Lord Zoltron shit his pants in mortal fear.



However, fast forward thirty years and another species has taken over completely, a species that controls the purse strings of most families whether they realise it or not. Teenage girls.

Teenage girls have taken over the world. And the result of this take over is a flood of media about superficial, surface-level bullshit that means nothing in the greater scheme, but is an incredibly efficient way to move a whole lot of consumer products that no one really needs.

And so we get to the subject of today’s post, Rebecca Black, whose new single “It’s Friday” is very possibly the worst fucking song and music video I’ve ever seen in my life.

I refuse to post the video here because it’s hard enough to get the fucking song out of my head as it is, but mosey on over to Mr Nashes site to watch the most cringe worthy performance you’re ever likely to see for as long as you live.

I hate this song and music video for a number of reasons:

1. She can’t fucking sing
2. She can’t fucking dance either
3. This song has been stuck in my head for THREE DAYS NOW, AAARARRARARARARARRAAGGHGHGHGH!
4. She has put no effort into the lyrics whatsoever, as the graph below perfectly illustrates:



5. Did I mention how catchy this trite pile of turd is?! AARARRGARGAHRAGRHGARH!

And apparently I’m not the only person that feels this way. Check out this awesome parody of this mind-numbingly crap song.



Thank you internet. I can always rely on you to fight back against the vacuous garbage the mainstream media spews out there.

And with that, I’d better get the fuck back to my day job because it’s Tuesday. Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. And tomorrow is Wednesday and after that is –