Archive for April, 2011

21
Apr
11

HOLIDAYEEEEEE, CELEBRA-EEEEEEEEETT!

Hands up who took the three days leave that magically turns into eleven days over Easter?

 

 

If you did, you’re a fucking genius. Pat yourself on the back for that shit and go immediately to bar, do not pass go, do not collect 200.

I took those three days because I, like you, am pretty much one of the smratest people ON THE PLANET!

Needless to say, posting might get a little patchy over the next two weeks. We’re taking a road trip up to Knysna along the garden route and then further up to the Eastern Cape to hit some killer spots like Kenton and Port Alfred.

19
Apr
11

Is it ok to just post a cartoon of Tarzan Propositioning What Looks Like A young Boy Inappropriately In Hilariously Bad English Whilst Riding An Elephant Today? It’s Not? Um. Crap

 

 

Ten points if you spotted Pedo Bear.

-ST

18
Apr
11

It’s Happened Again…

Remember that story I told you guys about when J-Rab fell down the stairs and I got all creeped out because I thought people would think I was secretly beating her and I’d get arrested and spend a good long time in prison getting nailed in the corn hole?

It’s happened again.

We went ice-skating on Saturday night and one minute everything was cool, everything was fun and we were going around and around the rink, easy peesy Japanesey.

 

 

Then I decided to up the tempo a little and start skating at an inhumanly fast pace because, well, I’m a guy and we’re retarded like that.

15
Apr
11

Happy National Cleavage Day

So glad it’s National Cleavage Day today cause I got fuck all to post about otherwise – yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ha!

Thank Jeebers for small miracles right? (And large ones if you catch my meaning, wink wink, nudge nudge).

Anyway, here’s a whole lot of pics to celebrate the wonder that is women’s breasts.

Oh yeah, and play this killer track while you check these pics out, courtesy of http://gobarbra.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are we good? Great.

Have a killer weekend Winking smile

-ST

14
Apr
11

Hipsters – why the fuck?

I’ll tell you straight up that I hate pretentious wankers about as much as I hate taking out the trash only to find out that a warm stream of garbage juice has dribbled down my jeans from a hole in the bottom of the bag.

There are a number of factors that lead to people becoming pretentious wankers, but right at the top of the list is definitely a chronic insecurity in themselves that manifests in them putting everyone else around them down to feel better about their shit lives.

13
Apr
11

Tiger In The Hilton

Being one of South Africa’s preeminent bloggers definitely has its perks – free flights to exotic destinations, free accommodation in luxury resorts, a zippy little Audi R4 to just drive where ever the hell I want and invites to sick launch events where I’m treated like royalty are just some of the spoils of being basically the most badass blogger in the country.

Yesterday was no different, I was invited to the media launch of the new Hilton Hotel on Buitengracht and wow, that place is p1mped to the max.

 

 

 

 

Lets jump straight to some bullet points about this shiny new hotel because they’re way easier to write than actual sentences:

12
Apr
11

Fight Club For Chicks

I don’t know how I missed this band. It’s a double edged sword because part of me is like “What the fuck how could these guys slip off my radar? What kind of music junkie am I?” but the other part of me is like “FUCK YEAH A NEW BAND THAT ISN’T SHIT!”

Because a lot of them are shit, trust me, I wade through piles of it on a monthly basis so that you don’t have to.

Which brings us neatly to today’s band, Nico Vega, who dropped their eponymous debut album two years ago. I got my hands on it last week and can’t stop playing it.

11
Apr
11

The Ministerial Handbook – Our Government’s “Get Out Of Jail Free” Card

If there’s one book I’d KILL to get my hands on, it would be the Ministerial Handbook, because I can guarantee you, there’d be some pretty goddamn interesting reading in that evil little tome of indulgence sponsored by you and I, the honest tax-paying chumps of this country.

The Ministerial Handbook sets down what remuneration packages and perks ministers are allowed, can you imagine that shit? Chances are it’s only three pages long; page one is all the publishing information, page two is the title and page three just says “Go wild”.

 

 

08
Apr
11

Everybody Needs To Watch THis. Invaluable Information.

Living in South Africa can be rough. At many times in people’s lives they are subjected to the horrendous ordeal of watching an entire cross-section of our country’s male population urinating in public places such as street corners, parks, art museums and on one particularly traumatising occasion, by the frozen veggies section of Pick ‘n Pay.

Guys, it doesn’t have to be this way. Please take the time to watch this highly educational and informative video entitled “How To Piss In Public” and do be sure to thank me later.

 

Big thanks to Civilian for that one, you rock, keep the good shit coming.

08
Apr
11

Please Dear God Let Today End Soon

You know that feeling when your brain swells to twice its normal size in your skull, your tongue tastes like you’ve been licking dog asshole and your guts are a soupy mess, threatening to rupture at any given moment?

I know that feeling. Right now I AM that feeling.

Holy shit did we party last night.

When you leave the house dressed like this, you know shit’s gonna get fucked up but good.

 

 

We called it a “Dan Nash Bash”, it was the leaving party for the man himself who has left our company to move onto bigger, better things and because ol’ Nash loves a good party, the entire office showed up in full force and started hitting the sauce with gusto.