Archive for September 10th, 2013

10
Sep
13

Media Saturation Point

miley-cyrus-wrecking-ball-video-4-650-430I think I could be getting close to reaching full-on media saturation point. It’s a bold claim I know and not one I should technically have any right to make considering I can name 5 friends off the top of my head who consume 10 times as much media as I do, but there it is.

This realisation came to me when I watched Miley Cyrus’ over-hyped performance at the VMA Awards and her new single “Wrecking Ball”.

I know both of these videos are supposed to have elicited some kind of “OMGWTF!” response from me as I scrambled for the nearest social media platform to voice my indignation at the declining morals of today’s youth.

Instead, all I thought in both instances was “meh”.

Because who really cares, right? I mean, who really gives a fucking flying fuck? Haven’t we seen all this before? The answer is yes, we have seen all this before, but I guess if you’re under a certain age you might not have which explains why it’s such a big deal because teenage girls rule the world.

It’s fucking true! Anyone with a brain will tell you that teenage girls control the goddamn purse strings of the modern world, but that’s another rant for another day.

Today’s rant is about how shockingly indifferent I find I’m getting when it comes to the media I consume.

Like I said before, I just feel like I’ve seen all this shit so many fucking times before that it has absolutely no effect on me whatsoever.

For example, here’s the new Miley Cyrus video I mentioned earlier (I can’t believe I’m about to post a Miley Cyrus video on this site, but whatever, it’s to illustrate a point).

 

 

It’s just all so fucking overdone. Close-up shot of her crying on camera – Sinead O’Connor (“Nothing Compares To You”), sexy girl with power tools – Benny Benassi (“Satisfaction”), song about getting your heart ripped out – practically every artist to ever write music ever.

Am I supposed to be shocked that Disney’s little sweetheart Hannah Montana has grown up into a badass rebel get-naked-at-the-drop-of-a-hat pop music biatch? Please.

Disney is practically a factory for churning out ill-adjusted, future crack / meth / prescription drug and alcohol addicts that hit meteoric levels of fame way too young only to crash and burn in their late 20s while tabloid newspapers and magazines feed off their misery like bloated ticks.

 

 

That’s just one example though. So many more come to mind.

Take movies for example. When’s the last time you saw a truly good one? One that really struck a chord in you and made you smile or laugh or cry from somewhere deep down?

I’m guessing it’s been a long, long fucking time right?

I did the math today. I’m going to be 30 this year, so let’s say on average I see maybe two movies a  month – that’s 24 movies a year.

Now, because I don’t really remember anything I watched movies-wise before the age of 5, let’s say I’ve been watching two movies a month (on average) for 25 years. That works out to be 600 movies in total and I can tell you right now that’s a conservative estimate.

At varsity I was probably averaging 2 movies a week, that’s 384 in just 4 years so I’d actually put the number of movies I’ve seen in my life closer to 1 000, maybe even more.

The average movie is 120 minutes long, so that means I’ve spent 120 000 minutes watching movies – that’s 83 straight fucking days, nearly three months just watching movies 24/7!

And like I said, I think I’m at the healthier end of the media-consumption spectrum. I have friends that probably watch up to 5 or 6 movies a week, God knows how because even with the comparatively little amount that I’ve watched, I have had enough.

Everything is a rehash of everything else, everything is a reboot. Indiana Jones is The Mummy, is Tomb Raider, is National Treasure, is The Da Vinci Code. The Last Of The Mohicans is Braveheart, is Gladiator, is Troy, is 300, is Robin Hood, is Clash Of The Titans.

It’s pretty well-known that Hollywood has a pile of something like 36 scripts and when they’ve made the movie at the top, it goes back to the bottom of the pile only to surface three years later as the same movie with a few subtle twists to fool people into thinking it’s something new.

Here, have a look at this, it’s called R.I.P.D, it’s Ryan Reynolds’ new one with Jeff Bridges:

 

 

Seem familiar to you? Of course it fucking seems familiar – it’s fucking Men In Black with ghosts instead of aliens!

The last thing I ever wanted to be in life was a cynic, but after spending the majority of my adult life getting media rammed down my throat relentlessly whether I like it or not, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to get excited about anything media-related anymore.

I’ve often wandered what it would be like to try to cut all that stuff out of my life completely and see what happens. Spend a year avoiding movies, series and internet videos.

Music is different, I couldn’t live without that, but what would my life be like if I cut out the rest of it?

Would take a lot of balls and I think my overriding online FOMO would make it damn near impossible, but wow I’d have a lot more time on my hands and would probably be a far more well-adjusted human being.

But then again, who needs to be well-adjusted when you have pure internet gold like “The Fox”?

 

 

The fact that I actually find that video funny says more about the levels of depravity I have to sink to to be entertained than anything I could ever write on the topic.

Yeah. I think it’s time to pull the plug.

-ST