Archive for August, 2013


Escape Monday: Into A Realm Of Animals That Will Give You Nightmares

Red-lipped BatfishThis one really blew my mind right off its hinges. Bored Panda did this series of posts entitled “Animals You Didn’t Know Existed” which I’m shamelessly ripping off for today’s Escape Monday because wow.

I thought I’d seen it all when it came to animals. I’ve been alive for nearly 30 years now, I’ve watched hundreds of nature doccies and seen a whole bunch of crazy animals in zoos and boardrooms all over the world.

Boy-o-boy was I wrong. When you guys see the animals in this post, you’re gonna lose your damn minds. All of these animals are real, no photoshopping, just the scariest, creepiest, ugliest selection of monsters to crawl out of the primordial soup.

Starting with my friend the Yetti Crab:





















And lastly, the clear winner here today:



Hope ya’ll enjoyed those lovely animals!

Tune in next week for animals that are remarkable beautiful / cute so that balance can be restored to the universe.



Friday LOLZ – Sleep Deprivation Edition

tumblr_mrg5nxZVnh1qzmowao1_500So yeah. Not a lot of posting happening on the site at the moment, sorry about that guys, but with the little Cub to look after things are a little cray-cray at the moment.

Things will settle down (people tell me) but in the meantime, sleep is a precious commodity for J-Rab and I that we don’t seems to be getting our normal quota of at the moment.

Of course, with sleep deprivation come all of it’s awesome side effects like laughing for an inappropriately long time at things that aren’t really that funny at all and generally feeling like you’re watching your life from the outside.

Speaking of things that aren’t really funny at all – here are things like that. Starting with a bird dancing in a bag because what else is there to do in a bag?



Then there’s this waking nightmare I had about the Simpsons the other day…



Followed by Nicolas Cage in his Cageface suit.



Shark news reporter…



More nightmare stuffs…





What happens when game developers take too much acid…



RL Spiderman.



The raddest squirrel known to mankind:






And this:



If at this stage you’re thinking, “Holy shit Papa Slick, you need to get some sleep, son!” then I have only this to say to you:



Have a killer weekend Party People. Anyone needs me I’ll be dead asleep (hopefully).



Converse Announces The Final 10 SA Artists For Get Out The Garage

GOTGIf you guys have been following the Converse Get Out Of The Garage competition, then you’ll be excited to know that the final 10 artists for the public voting phase of the competition have been announced.

I’ve had a listen to all 10 of the finalists in this year’s competition and yeah, there are a couple diamonds in the rough right there, no doubt about it.

As with the finalists last year, I’m posting a couple of bands that I think really deserve the votes. Keep in mind this is totally subjective – you might think these bands suck, in which case, hit this link to hear the others and find your own favourites.

Before we kick out the jams though, let’s find out what’s at stake here, shall we?

The band / artist that gets the most votes through the Converse Get Out Of The Garage Facebook page app will win a performance at Rocking the Daisies, a gig at the legendary 100 Club in London, and the opportunity to record at RubberTracks in NYC.



A total of 334 acts submitted a variety of tracks ranging from punk rock to deep house, and one of them will earn the chance to perform at the 100 Club in London, which happens to be the running popular music venue in the world – BADAM!

You have until the 13th of September to vote for your favourite artist on Facebook, you can access the voting page through this super-long hyperlink that, provided I keep writing it, could very well go down in interwebs history as the longest hyperlink in living memory. Supercalafragilisticexpealadocious.

Now! Onto the bands that blew my hair back (in no particular order).

First up is Bruce Noble, a 5 piece pop band from Potchefstroom (of all places. Do they even have music in Potchefstroom?! Who knew…). The oldest band member is 22 which blew me away considering how polished their particular brand of indie / dance pop sounds.

The production is also pretty solid, check it:



Next up is The Aztec Sapphire, who I thought also deserved a special mention. They have a bit of a Foals vibe to them, very chilled stuff – breezy synths, slow strumming, elegant in its simplicity.

Not sure where these guys come from but they got a truckload of potential if this track is anything to go by.



This next band hails from Cape Town and goes by the name Rumspringer. They’re definitely going for a strong electro swing vibe with some Balkan riffs and beats thrown in for good measure.

Sure, bands like Goldfish and Goodluck are already milking this genre for all it’s worth, but I really dig Carla Louw’s vocals, they have an edginess to them that really stands out for me.

The only thing I found a bit weird is that they made it into the final 10 with a remix of one of their tracks (?). Anyway, here’s the James Copeland remix of their track “Gypsie Queen”.



So there it is. Now go check out the others and VOTE yo! Just by voting, you stand the chance to join your favourite band from the final 10 when they fly to London to play at the 100 Club so get on it!

Tiger out.



Pressure, fahk!

IMG_6488resizedHi boys and girls, how the hell are ya’ll doing? Hell’s teeth it’s been a long-ass time since I last posted and over the course of my self-imposed hiatus, my life has changed in every conceivable way.

As you all probably know from the last post, I am a dad. My Cub was born happy and healthy, is feeding well, sleeping well and doing everything a newborn should and I can’t tell you how great that feels.

HOWEVER, I now feel this added pressure to post something life-changingly epic on the site, a post that wrenches the heartstrings and leaves you with this “Phwoar! Holy shit, life is AWESOME!” kinda feeling.

So before expectations get completely out of control, lemme just say that this isn’t that post. This is just a post to say “Hiya! Wattup bitches!” and to tell you that things in Tigerland have never been better.



That other post where I try to communicate what the last week has been like and how incredible it feels to stare into your daughter’s fathomless blue eyes for the first time is on it’s way, don’t you worry.

But part of the reason I haven’t posted is because I wanted the very next thing I write to be that post and that’s just not gonna happen. That one’s going to need some time which I don’t have at the moment so in the meantime, here are a few things I’ve learned over the past week:



Other people’s babies are boring as hell, but your own is the most fascinating thing you’ve ever seen

This is the craziest thing. Until a week ago I thought that babies were pretty damn boring until they get to about 2 years old and start having rad nonsense conversations with you.

Then you have your own and spend hours at a time just watching her sleep. No shit. She’s hardly doing anything besides breathing and making the occasional funny sound / face in her sleep and I’m fucking riveted!


Babies are best burped in 4/4 time

True story. It also helps to make the first pat slightly harder than the other three so that you loosen the wind with three pats and then let ‘er rip with the last one.

I’ve also experimented with different beats from popular songs and found the beat from Blur’s “Song 2” to be pretty effective as well. Just stay away from any Slipknot, it won’t end well…



Baby shit doesn’t gross you out. In fact, in the beginning, it makes you happy

I never thought anyone’s shit would ever make me happy. There is nothing happy about shit – it smells awful and should be neatly and discreetly disposed of, never to be seen again.

BUT, when your baby shits you are genuinely happy because it means that everything is happening as it should. Sure, it smells a little rank and I’m pretty sure given time it will stop making me happy, but for the time being, the fact that my Cub’s digestive system is doing everything it should is a great sense of relief.




Holy mother of God, The Boobs. I’m a sceptical mofo – I hardly ever take anything people say at face value because what I quickly learned in life is that people LOVE exaggerating.

So whenever someone tells me how fucking insane something was, I dial it down a couple of notches mentally to get a closer approximation of what it was actually like.

So when people said, “J-Rab’s boobs are going to get MASSIVE when her milk comes in” I thought sure, they’ll probably get 5% bigger, max.

My God was I wrong. 5%? Try 35%! They looked and felt like flippin spanspek! I couldn’t decide if I was turned on or mortally terrified.

It calms down again after a day or two but when the milk first comes in, stand the hell back.



I’ll post more observations as they come to me, but in the meantime, I think it’s high time we returned to my usual posts of biting sarcasm, general internet weirdness and good times.

The deep stuff is coming though, give it a week tops Winking smile



I Have A Daughter And She Is A Badass

I will write more soon, I promise. For the time being, I’m just treading water, trying to figure it all out and trying to get my head around the fact that as of 1.17pm on Monday, I became a father.

I will say two things though. Firstly, J-Rab is a champion. She is the strongest woman I’ve ever known and has sailed through everything just like I knew she would. Because of her I will never look at women the same way again. They are miraculous beings, anyone who thinks differently is not a person you should waste your time with.

Secondly, my daughter is a badass. World, meet The Cub, and yes, she could very well be flipping you the bird – she’s trying to sleep here ok? The paparazzi can take a hike.



More to follow. Thank you all for the good vibes, congratulations and well-wishes, you guys are incredible, I’d hug every last one of you if I could but that hug would be so gigantic I’d need a football field to get it right.

Later Party People Winking smile



Awesome Work Meltdown Supercut

MeltdownI’m pretty sure we live in the most stressful time in human history. I blame technology because as insanely cool as it’s made our lives, it’s also resulted in us never being able to escape work.

As long as your work emails are coming through on a connected device that you take home with you, you’re going to read those emails and in some instances, you’re probably going to end up working.

So it’s no wonder that some people start to feel a little overwhelmed by it all and turn into raging maniacs in the workplace, destroying everything and everyone in their path.

If you need a little stress relief in your day, take a look at this supercut of people losin’ they dayum minds at work and take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.



Who needs stress relief when you’ve got a can of gasoline at the ready?

Words to live by right there…



In One Week I’ll Be A Dad

baby-in-wombWhat no one tells you about being an expectant parent is how often you are going to be asked the question “Are you / you guys excited?” in the nine months leading up to the big day.

There is only one answer to this question, which is something I found out the hard way when I decided to answer “No,” for shits one time and everyone in the room went quiet and stared at the floor.

Don’t do what “Tiger Don’t” does. Always answer yes to that question even though in truth, a word like “excited” covers maybe one tenth of what you feel in the months leading up to parenthood.

There have been moments when I’ve felt ecstatic, when I’ve felt like I’ve jammed my tongue in a wall socket and 10 000 volts of current are coursing through me. We’ve created LIFE! Thanks to J-Rab and I, a little girl is going to be born who’s going to experience all the wonder of this life with the two of us to guide her through it.

The list of firsts that she’s going to experience are endless. Her first feed, her first diaper change, the first time she smiles, the first time she sleeps through the night, her first tooth, her first word, her first step, the first time she tastes ice-cream, her first trip to the zoo, the first time she tells us she loves us.

When you think about all that, you feel amazing. It’s the natural way of the world, it’s our sole biological function – to survive, reproduce and ensure the survival of our offspring. You feel that when you’re an expectant parent, the interconnectedness of it all.

There’s another side to it though, the side that creeps in uninvited at 3am when you’re lying awake bracing yourself for a future that you have no idea if you can handle.

A different list of firsts emerges during those hours. The first time she cries and won’t stop, the first time she gets sick, her first bruise, her first cut, the first time you let her down, the first time you make a mistake that you know is going to effect her her whole life, the first time you have to explain to her that one day, no matter how well you live your life, no matter how good you are as a person and how much joy you bring to this world, you will die.

The first time she gets her heart broken. The first time she tells you you’re the worst parents in the world.

When you get into that frame of mind, everything changes. You no longer see the world as a place of wonder but rather a place of hidden dangers and unnumbered sorrows. You think about your own parents and how even though they only ever wanted the best for you, even they made mistakes which, in the face of becoming a parent, are suddenly a whole lot more forgivable than they were when they happened.

And somewhere around 4am, after thinking round and round in circles you reach the inevitable question that every first parent asks themselves during the 9 months leading up to the big day, “What the hell am I doing?”

What the hell am I doing bringing another person into this world besides setting her up for the same crippling blows that life deals out indiscriminately and with cruel abandon to everyone who lives it?

What right do I have to visit that suffering on anyone? We had a choice, we could have taken more precautions, we could have been more careful, this poor little baby doesn’t have that choice. Thanks to something we did she exists now and even though it may have nothing to do with us whatsoever, we will forever feel like if something bad happens to her, it’s our fault.

It’s heavy, I know. It’s not the kind of thing expectant parents admit freely, never mind post on a public forum for the whole world to read and judge, but I felt I had to write this if for no other reason than to let any other expectant parents out there feeling the same thing know that they are not alone.

There is one thought that pulls me through it all though, one crucial idea that I cling to and that has been a source of infinite hope during the tough times we’ve been through and it is something J-Rab’s mom said to her that I’ve never forgotten.

Yes, the world is a tough, scary place and yes, there are all ready far too many of us in it, BUT the world is still sorely lacking in one very valuable commodity: good people.

And that’s all there is to it. You do your best, you love her as much as humanly possibly, you give her every opportunity you can and help her as much as you can along the way and if you get that right, you bolster the count of good people in this world by one.

It’s a lot easier said than done, but I have the best woman by my side any guy could ask for, not to mention some pretty incredible family and friends who I know I can always turn to when the going gets tough.

And that’s why, when all is said and done and people ask me if I’m excited to be a dad, I smile and I say yes I am.

I’m ready.

I’m ready Winking smile



Two Movie Trailers That Are Rad (And Don’t Feature Superheroes)

StillerSilver Linings Playbook was a cool movie. Especially the part where Bradley Cooper’s character Patrick throws Hemmingway’s A Farewell To Arms out his bedroom window because he hates the ending.

Impulsive shit like that is cool. Turns out the director David O. Russell has already made his next one American Hustle, staring Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner and Jennifer Lawrence.

And if that trailer doesn’t excite you, I’m posting another for the new Ben Stiller movie that he directed and stars in called The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty that I also think looks pretty sick.

But here’s American Hustle first:



And here’s The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty:



Very cool trailer. That song that plays throughout is “Dirty Paws” by Of Monsters And Men. I’d buy that album right now if I were you. It’s called My Head Is An Animal.

Ok. Back to work.