When you catch a Tiger by the tail, don’t fail…

There’s no way I would usually do this, but I’m bored and I feel like pulling the legs off insects for awhile.



So I wake up to this shitty, grey, cold ‘summer’ day, shuffle into the lounge, boil up some coffee, the landlord calls and says he’s coming over to do something or other in the bathroom, fine with me, I have no plans.

Then I open up my gmail and find that another douche has commented on my Killers Review (posted here and on the Moral Fibre site) and broken the previous douche’s record for ‘latest comment after nobody gives a fuck’ by, wait for it, 15 days!

In total this guy clocked in at 20 days after Vince posted my review, I think that deserves some kind of award in itself, but wait, it gets way, waaaayyy better.

This is the comment he posted:

Author: yousuf
MAYBE you’re stupid or maybe you’re just a paper Victim.
at any rate.
i can’t sit here and not reply to your travesty of justice which you call a review so here’s my opinion on your opinion.
ok before anything else let me just like agree with you on one thing: south african radio stations are shite. they stick to Human and like a couple of other tracks. Lol alright anyway

it’s quite the generalisation to say that s.a. audiences suck. you’re alas mistaken in that regard. i was standing about 5 metres from dave keuning and the collection of people around me, ranging from some random oldish people to like 12 year old girls, Everrrrybody was rocking out and knew most of the songs. perhaps you were just amongst the ones who didnt know much about the killers but then again, you know what they say about birds of a feather. 🙂

it may be, as you so cutely declare, "a fucking rock concert" but that doesn’t mean you can just push people around to  get to a better spot. if you actually perhaps maybeeee just gave a damn about the killers you would have arrived earlier to get a good spot?

then you say that they played "two totally obscure" tracks. slicktiger. "BLING" is not obscure but then again you don’t know much about the killers it appears, unless im mistaken, of course. but that doesn’t happen often. the second of the supposedly obscure tracks was Shadowplay  – alright i guess this is somewhat off since it’s just a cover by the killers but anyway it’s a decent song, though far from the top of my list.

and actually they did leave out a few important tracks.. i.e. the rest of the murder trilogy and also glam indie rock n roll would’ve been good

THEY DID NOT BUTCHER ‘SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT’. the version they did was bloody brilliant with ray on violin..like better than the original. gosh.

and then just when i was hoping you were going to spare yourself the embarrassment of continuing, you went to that place. by ‘that place’, i mean. saying. that. brandon. makes. the killers. UR SO STUPID HONESTLY. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF "BLUSH RESPONSE"? let me enlighten you. it’s the band monsieur flowers was in pre- The Killers. and so judgin by what you said, one would think "blush response" sounds the same as "the killers". but guesssssssss  what sunshineeeee.. it doesntttttttt… hence. ur wrong. Lol

lol just an aside: "you  heard it hear first"..? haha dude the rumour of brandon’s solo career has been goin around for at least a year. so like. dont steal somebody else’s opinion n try to pass it off as ur own Lol

dude lol if s.a. audiences are so shite, why was it that brandon had to raise his voice to be heard over the shouting fans? and like. why did he refer to the audience as having "such beautiful voices". do you know what i think? i think your head was too far up your arse to notice much. that’s what i think.

oh oh. to end this, let me quote the song you say means a lot to you:
"Save some face.. you know you’ve only got one.."


What a gem! I was so fucking excited getting this fucking comment I can’t tell you. All I could think reading it was fuck yeah! Them’s fightin’ words.

Let me start by saying yousuf, welcome to the site, hope you like it here, make yourself at home.

Oh, don’t mind the dog, he does that to everyone. BOGART! Down boy! Hahaha, he likes you. Just let him do his thing. Hahaha, good boy Bogart. You want a towel or something?

Anyway, I just wanted to sit down with you, and straighten things out cause I think you’re a swell guy and I think we should be pals.

But first let it just be said that despite whatever rumours you might have heard, I did not finger-bang your mom, or your sister that one time during a shift break they had behind the McDonalds in Alberton.

Those were lies, but I fully understand why you would react so dramatically to my review given that kind of history. I would have done exactly the same thing, maybe not in the same flowery language, but hey, that’s just because you’re still learning to read and that’s cool too.



The point I’m making here yousuf is not to take things too seriously, it’s a sure-fire way to end up alone, trawling the internet for outdated content to shit on in an effort to make yourself feel better about your shitty life.

Attacking someone anonymously over the internet is the most cowardly form of social engagement that exists, besides Facebook-stalking people to try and get a date or resigning from your job over email.

I bow to you, yousuf, and your extensive knowledge of The Killers and look forward to reading your review of the gig, but I’m not holding my breath yousuf, because you and I both know you don’t have the stones to be any kind of writer.

So how about this – you stick to sitting on your ass, jacking off and playing World Of Warcraft and mind your own fucking business and I’ll stick to the job of writing whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want.

Don’t let the door hit ya where the dog jizzed down your pant leg.


5 Responses to “When you catch a Tiger by the tail, don’t fail…”

  1. 1 gaz
    December 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    haha, dude you make me laugh so much it hurts
    keep it up

  2. December 28, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    Some people just aren’t happy unless they’re pissing on others without even the courtesy of calling it rain.

    There were a lot of words in Yousuf’s comments, but it said nothing really. Just goes to prove the point that the Internet is not mostly pr0n – it’s mostly uninformed bullshit.

    Love the haters Slick, love them. See how much exposure Comrade Julius gets from being a douche. It can only do you good 🙂

  3. 3 yousuf (yes the arse himself lol)
    December 31, 2009 at 3:50 am

    holy shit
    i got me my own blog from mr slick tiger
    wow.lol. i must’ve really hit a nerve there to occasion this
    my comment started out as a defence of the killers but evidently it’s not about that anymore hahaha
    oh and as to my delayed reply – i’ve better things to do than google “bullshit” and wait for your site to appear. somebody told me to read it so i did. excuse the delay. i beg for forgiveness dude.

    lol awwww slickkkk i’m sorry that i don’t meet your high standards of writing but like maybe if you knew me you’d know that i’ve actually been published in a couple of magazines. (nothing special by your standards of course but then again writing’s not my job) and hey if you’re bored look at the front page of any durban newspaper from yesterday. and smile. like youuuuu mean itttttt 🙂

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