Archive for May, 2014

30
May
14

Here, I Want You To Have This Band. No, I Insist.

HeadphonesShout out to Ricksaw for enlightening me on this one. And like Jesus dividing the two fish into a bajillion, I shall now enlighten all of you, my favourite humans. But before I get to that, a story.

I originally wrote this post over a month ago, just before I went into hiding, clicked “Publish” and took it for granted that this had gone up onto the site.

For the days and weeks when I wasn’t posting, my only comfort was that this post was my last one, with this song because the original version of this post was badass, and the song badasser.

29
May
14

Why Crossfit Is For Flippin CHOPHEADS

Crossfit FAILLook, I don’t need to tell you guys, you ous are on the same waveslength as yuour pel Slicky-T, but crossfit is for serious flippin CHOPHEADS I mean come off it man, what the hell is WRONG with these ous?!

There’s only one way to train and that’s by klapping MONSTER weights, chowing enough protein to make your kidneys flippin EXPLODE and injecting FATAL DOSES of roids boet!

All this flippin squat, pull-up, flippin moff crossfit stuffs is for ous who don’t have the flippin’ BALLS to eat weights, put there bodies on the line EVERYDAY and have FULL-ON heart attacks by the time they reach their mid-40s.

28
May
14

Okes Who Like To Klap It #23: Flippin’ BUFF Laaities!

article-2639745-1E37327500000578-599_634x476Ma charnas and belters it’s been a helluva long flippin time. And during that time your Tiger pel has seen a lotta KLAP GYM type of CHOPHEADS come onto the interwebs and try be like the Tiger, but you ous know.

There is only ONE TIGER in the jungle, the original charna, the GODFATHER of KLAPPING IT and he’s name is SLICKY-T. The other dooses will come and go, but THIS DOOS is here to stay.

Now that thats sorted, I feel like it’s my duty to share something with you ous that I never knowed was even humanly possibly. Laaities – irrhitating little shitheads who run around breaking all your stuff and kakking there pant right? WRONG!

27
May
14

Bad Lip Reading Of American Idol Is Too Awesome

IdolsBad Lip Reading just gets better and better. It’s definitely one of those internet memes I wish I’d posted sooner because as a blogger, you want to be known as THE guy who posts certain videos.

If I’d become THE guy who posts Bad Lip Reading videos, imagine how insanely popular this site would be, shoo-wee! Traffic would come pouring in like mana from heaven.

It’s all good though. At the end of the day, all that matters are the LOLZ and this video will give you lots of them. It’s the Bad Lip Reading of American Idol, and holy sheeit if the actual show was like this, I would watch EVERY EPISODE.

26
May
14

Escape Monday: Intense Storm-Chaser Pics

Sun shines under long-lived supercell moving across northeast Nebraska May 28, 2004, almost following highway 12 from Niobrara down to Sioux City perfectly.It has been a long-ass time since I last helped you guys Escape Monday and I can only apologise for that. In the last Escape Monday post I wrote, I mentioned that I was going to try something a little different.

See, up until now every time Escape Monday rolled around, I would just trawl the interwebs for cool images and post them on the site, crediting the photographer / artist who created them.

Then I got an email from one of the artists whose work I used saying, “The hell gives you the right to just post my work on your site without having the decency to ask me first if it’s ok?”

22
May
14

Tiger Tries To “Smuggle The Rainbow” – Hilarity Ensues

unnamed-1-620x347I’ve always dug Skittles’ digital campaigns because they do some pretty crazy stuff and it works. So I was stoked to receive a blogger drop recently with an invitation to “smuggle the rainbow”.

Here’s the down lizzo – the mission they gave me was to go to www.skittles.co.za and survive an interrogation from Customs Officer Oosthuizen as I attempted to smuggle the rainbow into South Africa.

I gave it a bash and lemme tell ya, it weren’t easy, but provided you can keep a straight face and not move a muscle during the interrogation process, you should be juuuuuuuuussssttt fine. Oh, you also need a webcam otherwise you won’t be smuggling no nuthin’.

21
May
14

Solar Freakin’ Roadways!

Solar Panel RoadwaysAhh internets, how I have missed you. So much flippin’ AMAZING content, so many crazy beautiful minds all combining and merging, creating, sharing, inspiring, changing the world.

If you haven’t seen the video for Solar Freakin’ Roadways, you need to watch it right now. Not only did it get a chuckle out of your Tiger pal, but the idea behind it is nothing short of sheer brilliance.

The premise is simple – replace all the roads in the world with solar panels. Doesn’t sound very sexy or amazing, but trust me, the video you’re about to watch WILL blow your mind and could potentially change the world.

20
May
14

Pool-Hand Luke

376216_4929118339343_2124206427_nI did a launch in Joburg about two weeks ago, can’t mention the client but to give you an idea, it was for a skincare product that is primarily used by black women.

The beauty tips and secrets I have learned working on this account could fill the beauty pages of every women’s magazine in the country for six months. Never has my skin looked so radiant or felt so gloopy.

Naturally, once the launch was over my inner-savage was gnawing at the bars of his cage for whisky, pool and drug-fuelled rock music to balance out champagne, classy R&B and abundance of pink I’d been exposed to throughout the day.

19
May
14

Season Of Sunsets

Sunsets1I’ve been away a long time, probably the longest since I started this site nearly five years ago. I disappeared without explanation, turned to smoke and left the empty shell of my site floating out there in the ether.

Work was partly to blame – the load got so intense that some nights I just burned on through to the next day, eyes like sandpaper, heart hammering, stuck in a perpetual coffee-comedown nightmare.

There was stress. Enough that I lost 6kgs. Mistakes were made. Sleep deprivation fools you into thinking you’re on top of things when in actual fact, you’re continually overlooking the obvious.