Archive for the 'Escape Monday' Category



20
Jan
14

Escape Monday: The World In A Grain Of Sand

Dr.-Gary-Greenber-Microscopic-Sand-3bThey say God is in the details. But then they say the Devil is in the details as well, so I guess it depends on the situation. If we’re talking about feminine beauty, then God is definitely in the details.

If we’re talking about a medical aid contract though, then it’s the Devil fo sho. But anyway, the point is that the details are important one way or another, especially when you magnify things to 300 times their original size.

That’s what Dr Gary Greenberg did with a bunch of sand and the results he got are pretty phenomenal. These stunning pics show a universe of organic matter mixed amongst different kinds of rocks and minerals.

Proof that my main man William Blake was onto something when he wrote the line “To see the world in a grain of sand”.

Check it:

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s pretty mind-blowing to think that that’s what you’d probably find in a typical pinch of beach sand. I don’t know if this makes me a fucking weirdo, but I want to eat some of that sand.

Looks like rock candy! Flippin’ yum!

If you’d like to read the aforementioned Blake poem, here it is in its entirety (it’s a longy, but definitely worth reading because Blake is the best poet that ever lived):

 

Augeries of Innocence

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.

A dove-house fill’d with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell thro’ all its regions.
A dog starv’d at his master’s gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.

A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.

A skylark wounded in the wing,
A cherubim does cease to sing.
The game-cock clipt and arm’d for fight
Does the rising sun affright.

Every wolf’s and lion’s howl
Raises from hell a human soul.

The wild deer, wand’ring here and there,
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misus’d breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher’s knife.

The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won’t believe.
The owl that calls upon the night
Speaks the unbeliever’s fright.

He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be belov’d by men.
He who the ox to wrath has mov’d
Shall never be by woman lov’d.

The wanton boy that kills the fly
Shall feel the spider’s enmity.
He who torments the chafer’s sprite
Weaves a bower in endless night.

The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother’s grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the last judgement draweth nigh.

He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar’s dog and widow’s cat,
Feed them and thou wilt grow fat.

The gnat that sings his summer’s song
Poison gets from slander’s tongue.
The poison of the snake and newt
Is the sweat of envy’s foot.

The poison of the honey bee
Is the artist’s jealousy.

The prince’s robes and beggar’s rags
Are toadstools on the miser’s bags.
A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.

It is right it should be so;
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro’ the world we safely go.

Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.

The babe is more than swaddling bands;
Throughout all these human lands;
Tools were made and born were hands,
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;

This is caught by females bright,
And return’d to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar,
Are waves that beat on heaven’s shore.

The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes revenge in realms of death.
The beggar’s rags, fluttering in air,
Does to rags the heavens tear.

The soldier, arm’d with sword and gun,
Palsied strikes the summer’s sun.
The poor man’s farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Afric’s shore.

One mite wrung from the lab’rer’s hands
Shall buy and sell the miser’s lands;
Or, if protected from on high,
Does that whole nation sell and buy.

He who mocks the infant’s faith
Shall be mock’d in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne’er get out.

He who respects the infant’s faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child’s toys and the old man’s reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.

The questioner, who sits so sly,
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.

The strongest poison ever known
Came from Caesar’s laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour’s iron brace.

When gold and gems adorn the plow,
To peaceful arts shall envy bow.
A riddle, or the cricket’s cry,
Is to doubt a fit reply.

The emmet’s inch and eagle’s mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne’er believe, do what you please.

If the sun and moon should doubt,
They’d immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.

The whore and gambler, by the state
Licensed, build that nation’s fate.
The harlot’s cry from street to street
Shall weave old England’s winding-sheet.

The winner’s shout, the loser’s curse,
Dance before dead England’s hearse.

Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born,
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.

Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.

We are led to believe a lie
When we see not thro’ the eye,
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.

God appears, and God is light,
To those poor souls who dwell in night;
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.

My man Winking smile

-ST

13
Jan
14

Escape Monday: With Sexist Ads from the 1930s

offending_chinreducerIt’s crazy how advertising has evolved over the past 100-odd years. The messages are all essentially the same, but the way they are communicated have become increasingly complex and manipulative.

Back in the day, things were a little more straightforward. Advertisers had pretty much no shame when it came to targeting women to buy their products as you’ll see in the ads that follow.

The scary thing is that most advertising still plays largely on people’s fears and insecurities, but instead of saying “You are fat / skinny / have bad skin / smell – buy our product” it’s now changed to “She is gorgeous, confident, sexy and perfect because she bought our product.”

Advertisers have realised that you don’t have to point out people’s flaws to get them to buy whatever snake oil you’re selling. Instead, bombard them with images of flawless people and they’ll connect the dots all by themselves.

I’ve sorted all the ads originally featured here (worth reading if you want more insight into and analysis of these ads) into easy-to-read categories.

Category No. 1 – You stink

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, pretty brutal right? Just wait, it gets better. If it wasn’t bad enough that you stink, wait until you get a load of category 2.

Category no. 2 – Your Lady Parts Stink

 

 

 

 

 

Men back in the day were real uncommunicative shitheads apparently. Some would say not much has changed…

Moving right along, category 3 is another winner that is still dogging women (and men) at every turn.

Category no. 3 – You are too fat / too skinny

 

 

 

 

 

Interestingly, though skinny women are currently considered beautiful, the opposite was true when the world went through the Great Depression and the tough economic climate saw countless millions of people wasting away from starvation all over the world.

The next category is also one that exists to this day.

Category no. 4 – Your Hands Are Rough as a Goat’s Knee

 

 

 

 

The first one is the best (worst?) – “Romance DIES at the touch of DISHPAN HANDS!” Reminds me of the “Reefer Madness” movie posters that also did the rounds on the 30s.

Moving right along, here’s ma favourite category of the whole lot.

Category no.5 – Hey guys! Let’s invent a retarded-sounding new term to scare women into buying our shitty products!

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah. That last one makes no sense whatsoever. The fuck is she putting gelatine in the salad for? What in the name of all that is holy is she making?!

There are a ton more here, but I thought I’d end with a personal favourite from the early 70s:

 

 

What the actual fuck. Who are they hiring, sex-slaves? The copy in that ad is so embarrassingly chauvinistic, it makes me ashamed to be a man.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed that trip down to hell memory lane. I’d like to say we’ve come a long way, but have we?

 

 

No.

No we haven’t.

-ST

09
Dec
13

Escape Monday: Other Level Lego Advertising

FinalI work in the ad industry. Sort of. Without going into any detail, let’s just say the industry I work in is like Advertising’s ugly cousin who has to try twice as hard to get the boys but has “a lovely personality”.

Because we’re from the same family, I’ve sat in countless creative brainstorming sessions with Advertising listening to the utter shite that pours from her mouth like an overflowing manhole.

So when I see advertising done well, when I see a simple yet genius idea executed flawlessly, I smile inwardly because I know how many thousands of hours it probably took to come up with – like these amazing Lego ads for example.

Cast yer peepers over these beauties while I go write my heartfelt memoirs of how, no matter how hard I try please everyone, Advertising ALWAYS gets all the budget 🙁

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those last ads especially are flippin incredible.

Well played Lego.

Well played.

-ST

25
Nov
13

Escape Monday: National Geographic Photo Contest 2013

s_n31_13229818This time around, I’m not making any promises. Last week I said I’d be posting every day and yeah… work ended up drilling me so hard I could hardly walk straight.

This time around I’m not making any promises. If I can, I will post. More than that I can’t promise until things calm down a little, which I’m hoping they will as December creeps ever closer.

In the meantime, here are some of the entrants in this year’s National Geographic photo contest. Apparently the entries for this are still open until 30th November so these incredible photos aren’t even the winners.

I’ve listed them from my least favourite to most favourite. Dig it:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From here on in it’s pretty much 100% awesome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From my favourite two, it’s pretty clear to see that I’m into sweeping panoramas of snowy peaks, autumn colours and large bodies of water that act as rippled mirrors:

 

 

 

 

This post doesn’t really do these pictures justice though. Check out the original from The Atlantic here to see these pics enlarged to their full sizes.

It never ceases to amaze me just how beautiful this world is. My only hope is that we find a way to save enough of it that my daughter and her kids and her kid’s kids will get to experience the animals and scenes in these pics first hand.

-ST

18
Nov
13

Escape Monday: With Satirical Art

satirical-art-pawel-kuczynski-19It’s been a long-ass time since I posted last, I’m going to try to make up for the shocking lack of posts by NAILING IT every day this week like I normally do, but I can’t promise that that will happen.

At the moment, I’m locked into the final huge sprint for the finish line that is December holidays and it’s pretty brutal. All there is to do is keep your head down and keep on keepin’ on. The only way out is through.

In the meantime though, here are some thought-provoking pieces of satirical art from Polish illustrator Pawel Kuczynski so you can feel like you’re sticking it to the man yo!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the one that really got me thinking:

 

 

See kids? With SATIRE we can escape ANYTHING. Thanks to Bored Panda for the original post.

Now get back to work ya lazy bum.

-ST

11
Nov
13

Escape Monday: “Wild Art” is All Kinds Of Awesome

046CarolHummelI always stick by the time-honoured adage “I don’t know art, but I know what I like” because there’s a lot of wanky high-concept stuff out there that people love that I just plain don’t understand.

Then there’s “Wild Art”, a book by authors David Carrier and Joachim Pissaro that takes a look at today’s coolest and craziest art, which comprises of instantly likeable pieces like the ones I’m about to show you.

I like the idea behind “Wild Art” because the people that have created these pieces are not part of the mainstream art world, but have reached a level of fame where they are able to make a living off their talents.

Think of this collection as the Fight Club of art. It’s “pure, simple, direct and unsophisticated”. In other words, it’s made up of 100% pure WIN.

Check it:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And of course, my favourite:

 

 

Pretty damn suh-lick all in all.

High fives all round.

-ST

28
Oct
13

Escape Monday: With A Video That Will Make You Hallucinate

Tripping Balls_1c98a5_3904283I was super-sceptical about this one. It sounded like one of those “Forward this email to 15 people and you’ll win the lottery!” type scams, but I watched the video anyway and sure enough, it worked!

If you’ve never taken hallucinogenic drugs before the effects of this video might freak you out but don’t worry, it wears off after about 5 seconds and things return to normal… I hope…

Of course, there’s always the worry that this video might be planting something dangerous deep down in your subconscious mind, but I don’t think it’s very likely. Just kick, back watch this video on full screen (needs sound) and escape Monday whilst tripping balls at work.

Good times!

 

 

Now, if you want to know what an acid trip is like, imagine your vision doing that for 8 hours while you shift between manic, delirious bouts of uncontrollable laughter to paranoia and terror so visceral you could quite easily convince yourself that your worst nightmares are coming to life.

Survive that mentally intact and you can survive anything.

Word.

-ST

14
Oct
13

Escape Monday: The Most Beautiful Places On Earth

159117017The funniest thing about always doing these “Escape Monday” posts is that I start to see the same places popping up time and time again, with the same pics being recycled endlessly by the interwebs.

That’s why I took a shining to these pics, which I have stolen shamelessly off The Guardian’s website. They are fresh. They are new. They are places that not even your Tiger pal has stumbled on in his tireless web trawling.

What I also like about them is the fact that they are shot amazingly well. I mean I’m no photographer, J-Rab reminds me of this fact at any chance she gets, but I know a good pic when I see one.

Like this one:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The.

End.

-ST

07
Oct
13

Escape Monday: Banksy’s Most Iconic Work

banksy-painted-charles-manson-as-a-hitchhiker-on-a-london-street-corner-in-2005I realised when putting this post together that I know pretty much nothing about the street artist who calls himself “Banksy” other than the fact that he calls himself “Banksy” and he’s a street artist.

Turns out that the guy is pretty secretive though so I immediately felt better about not knowing more about him. Also, apparently he’s been doing street art for 20 years now.

That blew my mind a little as I only remember finding out who he was and seeing his work about five years ago, but this guy’s been giving the finger to the man for some time now and has built up a pretty awesome body of work in that time.

Check it out:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then there’s this elephant that he painted for a secret exhibition he hosted:

 

 

So yeah. Fuck the system yo!

Good chat. Shall we go back to work now?

Excellent.

-ST

30
Sep
13

Escape Monday: Jaw-Dropping Landscape Photography

Lukas-Farlan-Photography-14-640x425It’s so funny that of all the things I’ve started on this site, all the features and crazy shit I’ve tried to keep up, the two posts that just keep on giving are “Escape Mondays” and “Friday LOLZ”.

They’ve probably endured for so long because hardly any effort is required from my side to bang these puppies out, but I like to think they still add some kind of value to you guys, my loyal readers.

What you’re about to see are a whole bunch of photos from Lukas Farlan who, believe it or not, is a flippin student living in Italy who has an incredible eye for landscape photography.

Here are some examples of his stuff:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beyatiful!

Now back to the grind ya lazy bum Winking smile

-ST