The SlickTiger Guide to Klapping Gym Boet!

As an oke with lots of mates who are also okes I can tell you straight that it’s every oke’s dream to get MASSIVE AND RIPPED and bang two hot blondes AT THE SAME TIME!

Once an oke has achieved this goal, he is happy and can spend the rest of his life sitting on the couch, drinking beer, watching sports and TELLING OTHER PEOPLE WHAT TO DO.

He has earned this right, nobody can take this right away from him and with my help you can earn this right too, but first you gotta learn the proper way to KLAP GYM BOET! or you’ll always be a loser who can’t pull hot chicks and spends friday nights at home twitting with his loser friends on the interweb.


The first step to klapping gym boet is to buy a fucking TIGHT VEST. This will intimidate your opponents in the gym and make the hot chicks there stare at you and you will be able to lift 15% heavier weights from the confidence boost it will give you.

Confidence is everything. A wise man once told me if you don’t have confidence, fuck off, and he was right.

Ideally, you want your vest to show your biceps, triceps, delts, traps, lats, pecs, but NOT NIPPLES! That’s flippin’ gay.




Everyone knows that to klap it PROPERLY in the gym you need to be as tanned AS CAN BE! Having a GREAT TAN in the gym will not only make all your muscles look RIPPED, but it will also show all the chicks checking you out that, yes, you are an outdoors kind of guy and not some gay moffie who’s scared to lie in the sun for 13 hours wearing a thong.

I went onto the internet to show you just how ripped and amazing okes look with a little bit of a tan.



The charna in the above photo has NAILED not only a flippin’ AMAZING tan, but also a hot blonde belter who probably called her friend who was also a hot blonde belter right after this picture was taken so they could bang this guy. AT THE SAME TIME!

His arm is MASSIVE and covered in veins. Fuck, I can’t look at this picture anymore. FUCK! I’m jealous…



What can I say about this charna’s AWESOME tan that would do ANY JUSTICE to him or how AWESOME he is? Look at his even, brown / orange skin tone, flippin’ HARDCORE man! Look at the clear line between his pecs – proof that this charna likes to KLAP THE GYM! AND HARD!

Such a shame about the bladdy rough chick on his left though, but I’m sure with a bit of blonde hair dye, 70 hours in the sun, 6 months in the gym and lekker big fake tits, she’d look ok. Not flippin’ hot. But ok. He could do better.



Please go back up and just look at this photo one more time. Please just do that RIGHT NOW CAUSE THIS OKE’S TAN IS MAKING ME KAK MY PANTS HIS FLIPPIN TAN IS SO AWESOME!

Look how MASSIVE AND RIPPED he is! You don’t need to tell an oke like this how to KLAP GYM BOET, he wrote the BOOK! He’s also wearing a backwards cap and sunglasses IN THE GYM, so automatically plus 40% to his confidence which means he will be able to lift 75% heavier weights!

Now THAT’S what a kief tan can do for YOU!


Step three is a crucial one, this is SERIOUS now, so PAY ATTENTION, I”M ONLY GONNA SAY THIS ONCE.

In a gym situation you are nothing, NOTHING! without your charnas. You think you can get flippin RIPPED and MASSIVE and bang two hot blonde chicks at the same time if you train by yourself? Fuck boet, are you stupid?

The okes you train with are your CHARNAS! They are your BROTHERS! They will be there for you to tell you ‘Fuck boet, you look HUGE!’ and ‘I want 5 MORE! I FLIPPIN’ WANT FIVE MORE!’ and ‘Is that a new vest? Flip boet, it really brings out the colour of your eyes.’

Without your charnas you are NOTHING! You’ll have NO ONE to shout at and NO ONE will stare at you in the gym, shaking their heads because they can’t believe how MASSIVE AND RIPPED you and your charnas are!

Look at these charnas. They obviously gym together. Look at the blonde belter the one oke is gonna bang with her best friend who is also a blonde belter as soon as she gets back from having her boobs juiced up to the max.

Flippin’ awesome.




As with most things in life, an important part of klapping gym boet is knowing when to stop. There is a time in every Gym Boy’s life when he looks at himself, RIPPED and MASSIVE in the mirror and thinks to himself ‘I can’t even wipe my own arse anymore. Have I gone too far?’

Well, I’m here to tell you the answer to that question is NO!

When is it time to stop getting MASSIVE? NEVER!

Lots of chicks will say that they ‘Don’t like a man who is too massive’, but they’re flippin’ lying cause they LOVE IT! They’re just scared of his muscles, and can we blame them? NO!

Take a look at this photo and tell me who’s going to win this ‘Who is the MASSIVEST?’ competition:



Let’s see. Is it going to be Mr ‘I look like Eddie Murphy in a red speedo’ there on the right? Or maybe Mr ‘I thought about injecting horse growth hormones but decided not to’ there in the middle?

NO! Fuck, are you stupid?! It’s going to be the FLIPPIN’ HUGE OKE on the right who’s so MASSIVE AND RIPPED his two blonde belter girlfriends have to brush his teeth for him and doctors say he won’t live past 35! KLAP IT BOET!

Do you think he’d ever be that MASSIVE AND RIPPED if he just GAVE UP?! Please man. Don’t be thick.

Here’s another example:



This oke is so massive he can just go around putting his hand on blonde belter’s boobs ALL THE TIME and they don’t even mind, in fact, they ENJOY IT because they know he could uppercut their HEADS OFF if they tried to stop him.

What a LEGEND! Any second her blonde belter friend’s going to arrive and you KNOW what’s going to happen then! Flippin’ AWESOME!

I think I’ve proved my point about step four, NEVER GIVING UP, but just to make sure, I’ll ask you one last question.

Do you think this man, this old man, could EVER! EVER! have gotten so MASSIVE AND RIPPED if he’d known when enough was enough?




The last and final step to klapping gym boet is the nutritional step, because unless you eat right and inject dangerous steroids daily, you’ll never get RIPPED CHARNA!

Eating right means eating PROTEIN ALL THE TIME, CONSTANTLY, WITHOUT EVEN STOPPING, because this way you’ll show your body that NO! You don’t need any flippin’ fat! You don’t need to store any nutrition, you’re shoving it in your face CONSTANTLY!

Injecting dangerous steroids daily means experiencing violent mood swings, possibly because of the steroids and also possibly because your cheloger is ONLY ONE INCH LONG!

But seriously boet! Come off it man! Who needs a normal-sized cheloger when you’ve got two blonde belters, one on each arm ready to BANG YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE SO MASSIVE AND RIPPED!?

Fuck man! Are you stupid?

Now go out there and KLAP SOME GYM BOET!



125 Responses to “The SlickTiger Guide to Klapping Gym Boet!”

  1. February 9, 2010 at 9:00 am

    What the hell is wrong with there FACES? sis looks GROSS

  2. February 9, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Yassus boet, you were right! Check how jackie, obviously a chick, only worries about their FACES! Obviously the rest of them, only 1 inch or not, is all the right stuff. Thanks for this guide boet, I’m off to klap some gym.

    • February 9, 2010 at 9:50 am

      Hazit Brady – flippin’ NAILED it charna! Any Gym Boy knows that faces are only for feeding PROTEIN and SHOUTING at your mates in the gym. These okes are MASSIVE AND RIPPED and secretly jackie LOVES that.

      Kief man, klap that gym, you got the right attitude my boychie!


      • February 18, 2010 at 11:50 am

        Fuking such a keff zeff article charna. Myself I love klapping gym boet and i only date blondes. Wow I feel so fuking keff after gym I have craft myself a kiff ham sandwhich with protein, to bring me off my kiff buzz. Lekka charna


      • April 2, 2010 at 11:01 am

        Jeeeeez my charnas!!!! It’s laak, the boi’s baable has just bin written down on paper. Gym, chow protos, creos, SMASH blond belters and fight for your honour on Claremont main road. Laak, here end the lesson.

  3. February 9, 2010 at 10:02 am

    BOET! Do you like hospital food? Getting HUGE is no laughing matter – it’s a skill, charna!

  4. February 9, 2010 at 10:28 am

    lol – no it just looks abnormal….hey maybe its there *fake tan* ….

    Hey my opionion – it looks Gross – doesnt turn me on – what-so-ever.

    I like a guy with a good body – but not Gym obsessed as the above…

    ciao x

  5. 10 Hobo
    February 9, 2010 at 10:38 am

    Dont lie Jackie, you love big!!!! :o)The bigger the better. Oh and Mike I agree getting Huge is not easy….alot of hard work

  6. February 9, 2010 at 10:42 am

    No Hobo …

    hey I do agree however – that they must work F*cking hard to get a body like that…
    and must be sooo self motivated and disciplined…*that I do take my hat off* well done.

    hey what happens when u stop (training)…seriously….?

  7. 13 André
    February 9, 2010 at 10:47 am

    If you stop gyming, you will lose your muscle mass and it will start turning into fat and things are gong sag!!! hahahaha

    • February 9, 2010 at 10:54 am

      Ja, but boet, I think you’ve missed the point here – by that time you would have banged two blonde belters AT THE SAME TIME! Your life is SCHWEET. Also, you can spend all day telling OTHER PEOPLE WHAT TO DO! Who cares if you need a forklift to go to the loo?!

      Flip what a GREAT life!


  8. February 9, 2010 at 10:57 am

    LOL slick tiger – u not going to be getting 2 blondes
    with a sagging ball bag and breasts :-0


  9. 16 @Supa_Dan
    February 9, 2010 at 11:08 am

    I obviously need an awesomer gym vest… you’ve just killed 2 years of Men’s Health subscription with one post.

    My new vest will be black and yellow and red, but mostly black, fierce, as it’ll contrast well with the belters’ blonde hair and thus make me even more ripped.

  10. 17 Hobo
    February 9, 2010 at 11:24 am

    Hold on here guys firstly muscle does not and will never turn to fat! Secondly Jackie your ball bag shrinks it doesnt sag…..and thirdly you can take a steriod that will let your balls grow back to normal!

    But Slicktiger is right who gives a shit when you banged two hot blondes….Jackie do you have a hot blonde friend?

  11. 19 Hobo
    February 9, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Thats why I said a blonde friend…..with you it would make two!

  12. February 9, 2010 at 11:32 am

    I have plenty blonde friends… :-p

    but we all dont do the sharing thing – sowy xx

  13. February 9, 2010 at 11:45 am

    sorry changing my username – so I can make an account…

  14. 22 jackie29
    February 9, 2010 at 11:51 am

    I know u HOBO – HOW DARE U – sneaky sneaky – LMAO

  15. 23 Craigo
    February 9, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Boet, that oak is talking my sense.
    I can circumcise now what I was doing wrong, I never wore a kiff vest when I used to klap the gym stikkend. My charnas never told me this, they were klapping it sideways in their vests, I just thought they were awesome oaks, but now I can see the vests, the tan the waxings made them hardcore and that’s just admiral.

  16. February 9, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    Will have to KLAP SOME GYM now boet!

  17. 25 Jug
    February 9, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    yirra but u o’s can speak to my language.
    I dig to bang two blonds simultimeously – half inch each. plus pectoral squeezage.
    magic pal, magic. on my laptop in the gym simultimeous. my turn to pop some beads. check you on the other side of necktoral vein burstage. Tickets booked to the double gun show!

  18. February 11, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    jusliak oke you hit it on the HEAD. I’m my charnas and I HIT THE GYM 24/7 Oke. IT’s the only way to get RIPPED and bang blonds like a pro. Super kif post ne!

  19. 27 Devmanjaro
    February 12, 2010 at 7:43 am

    Slicktiger boet! I am definitely pickin’ up what you putting down charna! Sounds like you’ve forgotten stuff that Chuck Norris is still learning.

    I think you may have forgotten Step 6…Don’t forget to grunt lank loud when you pushing MASSIVE weights and getting HUGE! Then chuck your weights to the ground so all the okes in the gym skrik and turn to check how PUMPED you are!

    • February 12, 2010 at 8:05 am

      CHARNA! Flippin’ NAILED it boet! Grunting lank loud is definitely a major part of getting MASSIVE AND RIPPED and chucking your weights to the ground? Only a moffie pumps weights and doesn’t chuck them HARD on the gym floor.

      Dev, you got the right attitude. Okes, listen to Dev. This is a charna who’s probably banging two blonde BELTERS AT THE SAME TIME RIGHT NOW!



  20. 29 Jan Koekemoer
    February 12, 2010 at 11:48 am

    Boet, I speaks bof sides of the tale for a very long distance, but haf never anderstoed life like I anderstand life today. Im of to de gim to go klap it. Jan Koekemoer

  21. 30 Pumped
    February 12, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    Awesome article!

    But I’m a little disappointed that you haven’t exanded past the “beginners program”. Everyone knows when you’re built like a 10-ton truck that you can handle more than two blonde belters at a time.

  22. 31 Toddo
    February 12, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    Eh okes bru, serious eh, that was so flipping inspiring i went and bought myself a black and red ED HARDY Vest flipping asap, eh cause you okes must know There’s no vest like a ed hardy vest boet….serious.


  23. 32 Frank
    February 16, 2010 at 10:09 am

    Jissis hay boet you forgot to tell the okes two other vital rules:

    Rule 7: A Carb or Carbohydrate is just a myth and it does not exist in any Big okes vocabulary or fridge. In fact using the word Carb at the gym is like swearing an oke broken boet.

    Rule 8: Take up as many benches and machines as you can so you can glare at okes when they ask: “how many more sets?” or “are you using this bench?”. When the oke walks away after you don’t respond you feel lank big and the extra confidence of making that small oke walk off means you can lift 15% heavier weights Boet.

  24. 33 Protein Pieter
    February 18, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Jissis charnas, this guide could have been the best book ever…

    I can’t believe that I WASTED all my time in the gym without the right attire, charnas (atleast 4 spotters at a time and two shouting at me constantly), the coolest looking Mediterranean tan and giving up after only 2 hours of gym a day.

    Steroids and growth hormones are the way to go, you can feel your muscles grow as you inject yourself – doing this front of a mirror also gets your veins popping and you just want to KLAP SOME WEIGHTS!!!

    I am not sure whether I am doing the correct nutrition though, this is my daily routine:
    Before gym: Egg Powder Protein Shake
    After gym: Whey Protein Shake
    Breakfast: Protein Shake Meal Replacement
    Munchies: 2x Protein Bar
    Lunch: Protein Shake Meal Replacement
    Munchies: 2x cans of tuna, 6x eggs
    Dinner: Protein Shake Meal Replacement (sometimes I treat myself with a Protein Bar for dessert, if I REALLY klapped the weights HARD)
    Before bed: Casein protein shake

    Am I doing it right, is there anyone that can help me out on improving my protein synthesis and intake?
    I have never banged two blonde chicks at the same time… I just need some more protein I think!

    • February 18, 2010 at 4:13 pm

      Charna, let me be the first to say FLIP OKE! YOU’VE FUCKING KLAPPED IT BOET!

      Your nutritional intake in regards with the protein you are SMASHING IN YOUR FACE is spot on, SPOT ON! EXCEPT! You’ve made one MASSIVE fuckup.

      Steak. Seriously boet. WHERE’S THE FLIPPIN STEAKS!

      I want 5 STEAKS added to this diet, fuck oke, eat them in the gym if you have to! The growth hormones in steak makes you MASSIVE AND RIPPED so come now! 5 MORE! 5 MORE STEAKS!

      Kief. I give you 2 weeks. Blonde belters, 2 AT THE SAME TIME! 2 weeks charna, mark my words.


    • 35 Jonno
      February 26, 2010 at 12:32 pm

      Charna you missing out on A-grade beef 6 meals a day. You need to raise that lean protein intake by at least 4kg a day to get massive and ripped like a real charna boet. Also you need to make yourself some boiled chicken breast milkshakes for inbetween meals, there’s nothing worse than too little protein charna. One last thing boet, klap the gym in the new Ed Hardy lightning blue and cream vest. Keeping up with the times charna, 14,3% extra capillary dialation and 12,7% steroid mass retention. Go klap it boet.

  25. 36 Theuns
    February 18, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    Jrrr Boet,

    I smaak this article big time, the first laanie is Lee Priest which is my idol. I also klap the weights hard and every now and then take some Vitamin S. My mates mock me stukkend but they are not laughing when I am pulling all the hot birds in die clubs.

    Keep up the good writing.

  26. February 18, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    Fuck charna’s i dunno. I’ve had my two blondes but now i feel empty ? My steriods arent working and my cock fell off. Is there any protein carbo combo i can take for that ? But it does make my thighs look bigger now so it is actually quite zeff.


  27. 38 Toffee Boy
    February 19, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Charna, I was lagging so hard at this article while klapping gym hard boet that my pecs where bouncing and my vest got caught in my lats and gave me vest burn. Charna, my fake tan nearly klapped straight of my body it was so funny. With all the lagging I let a couple of protein baffs go and the two charnas that where shouting at me shut the fuck up quicker than me chicking my weights on the floor hard boet.
    Now listen here Slick Tiger, you better keep writing this shit to help okes like me out or else I’ll come find you and klap that fake tan right off you boet.
    Charna, I was reading step one when I burst out lagging and spat my protein bar and Mageu number one maize drink all over my laptop, which naturally caused my mood to swing so I klapped the oke asking me if I was finished with the squat machine so hard he thought he was surrounded.
    Right, enough chit chat and more getting massive and ripped boet.

    kiff sweet hey.

  28. 39 Noril (aka Cheeezy) Sirkub
    February 19, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    Hello slicktiger.

    I used to be an absolute computer wiz. Not a lot of gym, no charnas, and most certainly no hot blonde belter with a hot blonde friend to bang which in deeper meaning meant my life was… Jirrre boet.

    So I started to gym not so long ago because charna, I mean like who in the right mind wouldn’t want to bang two hot blonde babes AT THE SAME TIME and live life after giving orders to everyone around you.

    With that having being said, I was having serious problems getting proper PUMPED boet, though about a week and a half ago after reading this, prefectly designed KLAPING’tastic guide to becoming MASSIVE AND RIPPED, it actually made me feel AMPED and PUMPED and ready to take on the world.

    So I went to buy protein and steroids as you recommended and FUCK boet, I’m aggressive. I haven’t felt this good since I slutted this one oak in a parking-lot. Hot blonde chicks with huge tits are already starting to stare at me from my RIPPAGE.

    Klapping gym is a way of life! You can NEVER be too RIPPED nor MASSIVE, as you stated above.

    I’m just leaving this comment here so everyone can see and believe that this guide to KLAPPING GYM is GODLIKE!

    I would just like to thank you for the effort and time you put into this article, charna. It has truely changed my life. I am well on my way to becoming absolutely MASSIVE AND insanely RIPPED boet.

    All the best my charna,

  29. February 20, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    So last night after I klapped gym fuking hard I hit the cricket and Barneys. And my chick friends actually tried really hard too not get me laid. Even going so far as too lie too unsuspecting women that “we” the blonde belter cock block friend, had had sex and it wasnt that g8t which is a flipping lie charna. Cause everyone knows i love my blonde belters. I dunno if the keef zeeff Rhodes charnas have the same probably but WTF. Becoz I think that cock blocks are bred in Rhodes, even thou it is quite full of blonde belters, I am quite convinced that Rhodes men dont know how too treat blonde belters so they all become cockblocks, so this is my piece. So would slicktigher please explain this cockblock by blonde rhodes belters. Otherwise im stfu and ask the Rhodes blonde belters too not cockblock a charna.

  30. 41 Gary
    February 23, 2010 at 9:03 am

    You fucking chopheads probably rate yourselves as lank funny dont yoo? The difference is you might be taking the piss, but this article does get one thing right – i do fuck blonde belters – all the time. Just cause you internet geeks cant be bothered to get into a gym and make yourselves look tit, doesnt mean that we who do it are wrong. You okes must catch a wake up now.

    • 42 Noril (aka Cheeezy) Sirkub
      February 24, 2010 at 9:33 am

      Listen here oak. Shut the FUCK up! Don’t be a bitch all your life. Fucking blonde guys doesn’t count.

    • 43 Toffee Boy
      February 24, 2010 at 9:54 am

      Gary, you are the chop head.
      I agree with Noril (aka Cheeezy) Sirkub, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
      This is lank funny and I know okes the size of houses cause of gym laughing their asses off at this.
      Just because you can’t stand your own protein baffs doesn’t make these okes chopheads.
      Tell all those blonde belters you are banging to keep their penises in their pants and klap gym hard boet.
      Stay tanned and keep klapping boet, you the real deal.
      For the rest of you internet geeks that are happy with your bodies and are actually banging female blonde belters, keep klapping it as well.

    • 44 Jiggy
      February 25, 2010 at 1:46 pm

      Hi don’t know what made me laugh harder – this article or that dickheads like Gary can take this shit so seriously. Lather on that orange tan cream retard!

    • 45 Pistol
      February 28, 2010 at 9:41 pm

      Gary you should take your knob out your protein shake and get an educashion broooo! Lern too spel.

      ‘Lank funny don’t yoo’

      Also, blonde belters mean woman, not some PUMPED charna wearing a kidney belt so his insides don’t pop out because his BOYS are going ‘Flippin’ give me 5 more reps’

      But bru I’m loving the word ‘tit’ hey.

      No Gary you’re cool, you must look at your muscles with confusion.

      Because you don’t know whether to work them out more at the gym…or just fuck them.

    • March 1, 2010 at 3:19 pm

      Gary, please believe me when I say I’ve fucked more blonde belters than you could ever hope to not because I have big muscles, but because I have this thing called a ‘sense of humour’.

      You should look into it sometime. If you had one, it might stop people like myself and the other people who have commented on what a tool you are from laughing at you behind your back.

      Thanks for commenting though, you have leant credibility to this post in ways I don’t think you’ll ever understand 😉


    • March 5, 2010 at 1:27 pm

      Did Gary actually us the word “tit” in a sentence….BWAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

    • March 24, 2010 at 11:40 am

      boet i hope you are kidding, otherwise you are just proving the tiger right, CHARNA!

    • 49 Christopher Jukes
      June 29, 2010 at 10:31 am

      I’m going to agree with gary, CAUSE YOU DO LOOK TIT IF YOU KLAP GYM HARD, Heavy true boet,only a boychie would know that, but i dont think he has done a proper belter, cause he probably pumps at the gym by himself.

  31. February 24, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    lmao really gary? u thought this blog would be the place too come with a MASSIVE FUKING OKE attitude? And I really actually do believe u fuck shallow materialistic blondes, no doubt about it. But sometimes when u breaking a sweat and getting yourself looking tit ? I believe u used. Dont u stop to wander, Does an over developed steriod junkie, who is infact destroying his heart, kidneys and internal organs, really look “good.” And at wot cost? Having really KEEF ZEFFF FKING MASSIVE MUSLCES? Im defiantly not against looking good. Hey i look good and i get laid all the time. So ask urself Gary? Do i really need the big muscles so i dont feel so insecure inside………..? or Dont and enjoying being a fking keef zeff MASSIVE OKE.

  32. February 24, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Or Toffee is right? cause we all know fking massive keef okes is soo sic. So keep up the gym boet, KLAP IT FKING HARD Gary BOET. And enjoy the BLONDEBELTERS!!!!!!!


  33. February 24, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    Gary Mate, dont lisden to these fokin internet virgins. Chana, when that fuckin roid rash around the crotch area starts flaring and that special benzyl creme that that bitch at dischem said would clear up the zits on the back doesnt fokin work, Gary my chana, listen fukin closely, go treat yourslef to a lekker fokken baby blue vest (makes your tan look two times more fokin lekker), and then oke, get a lekker pair of police rap arounds. Oke, can you fokin smell what the rrrok is cookin chana when you strut along clifdon beach chana.. walk down to last beach where those fokin friendly guys wif da kief tans hang out. They always lank friendly and check out the gym pecks when i flex to take off my lekker new fokin glasses. Klap it lekker gary. Duffels is chop Gary, klap him hard.

  34. 53 HoogaBOOGAwooga
    February 25, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    Jackie wants you so badly

  35. 54 lonklapper
    February 26, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    i think Gary is on of those okes that doesnt look at himself enough in the mirror while pulling some monster weights. you need to take your balls our the bag and let them hang out for all the blonde belters to check while you power lifting your charnas..

  36. 55 Renier
    March 5, 2010 at 7:39 am

    Whahahaha…! Very cool…! and we must never forget about the “juise”….. steroids…and what that does to the male ORGAN…!!!Hehe..!

  37. March 5, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Scheet article boeta, I just wann go like smash the fukken heeeaviest weights in my face for like 4 hours then bang like 2 blondes for my cool down…

    Scheeta boet lank kiff stuff, what I meant was a… tit blog… boet

  38. 57 Maz
    March 5, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    You guys are hysterical, this should be turned into a TV show, and be on Monday night Comedy Hour….
    The scripts all there..
    That Vernon Koekemoer could play Slick tiger!

  39. 58 BigMac
    March 5, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    Checkut, ST, I was klapping the gym the uther dey with my charna, Jon, he end I have both got them super tight vests and are lank ripped and massive and are like poes-sterk jy weet. Anyways, these two blonde belters comes up to use when they herd us grunting lank loud and dropping our weights on the floor, they said that they reed about ST’s add-vice on the interwebs, told us they each had a hot blonde belter friend and if we wanted to score them stukkend! Juuslaaikee ST! It were a majical eefning with those two blondes. Baia dankie my charna!

  40. 59 Belter_banger
    March 5, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    Jassas bru, you’ve nailed klapping gym on the kop oke. Just today i was gooing a vest 2 sizes too small (shot Baby PEP) and was reeling my tits off for the 100kgs checking me out on the bench. Saw a blonde with a toosh that made things go boing boing and nailed my set.

    peace charna

  41. 60 daz
    March 6, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    boet klap it. Kiff hey

  42. March 7, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    jissie boet, this read made me wanna hit the gym, schnarf lines and slam chicks hey!

    haha, awesome awesome blog!!!

  43. 62 BeastUltraPump
    March 7, 2010 at 11:56 pm

    Ag nou Charna’s…

    Why’d you charnas sink to Gary’s level. Saying things like “though my biceps are as small as a 6 year old girls forearms (implied) I still pomp more binters than you cause I got personality” is flippin gay.

    I do the juice and was sending this to all my juiced vest wearing charnas, until you charnas let the cat out the bag.

    I’ll tune you charnas straight then… The juice doesn’t do anything to your cheloger but makes he’s two buddies get an inferiority complex as they shrink like raisins till you do the correct post cycle therapy after your cycle (even though I have small balls for a while I still feel like pomping a blonde mannequin in Truworths I’m so jags) . Also, unless you are a 18 year uneducated 1st team rugby jock who doesn’t have the interweb, it poses almost no health risks if you use the right precautions. The charna’s with forearms the size of your legs drinking valpre water instead of a cold one at the bar, are one of the healthiest people you will ever meet, as they live for research on medical development in the field of health and diet.

    I’ll tune you charna’s another thing, do you like any professional sport? Well my Dr. Charna helps rugby players, cyclists etc. avoid being detected with all the juice they do to make them look cool for your kids who want to grow up to be them. If you play professional, you juice or you go home, not exaggerating, some of these charnas being referred to have competed in the Olympics and run out at Loftus.

    BeastUltraPump out…

    Ps. Real ripped charnas wear pink vests as you saying “come tune me I’m flippin gay, I dare you!” Haha

    • 63 Toffee Boy
      March 8, 2010 at 8:29 am

      Gary, is that you charna?

      • 64 BeastUltraPump
        March 8, 2010 at 9:30 am

        I’m Gary’s charna, he’s standing behind me egging me on. I finished matrick so he knew I could tune some sense to you guys, plus I have spellcheck and a avoided the word kiff, so I could infiltrate you smart charnas circle 🙂

  44. 65 Gord Laws
    March 8, 2010 at 11:55 am

    This is one of the greatest things ever. Of all time. In the world. Ever.

    My name’s Gordon Laws. I work at FHM south Africa. I’m trying to track SlickTiger down. Whoever you are, dude, please klap me an email or Facebook me. Thanks. Schweet, chaarna.


    • 66 Toffee Boy
      March 8, 2010 at 12:27 pm

      Hey Gord

      Don’t get cleva with our boy SL boet.
      Us interweb nerds stick togetha like a sock to a porn mag boet.
      Anyway on a more seriaas note charna, why don’t you there at FHM set up a rumble between SL and Gary the tit tanned oke.
      I reckon it will be a match to the death with SL winning hands down.
      One swift kick to Gary’s raisins and his 1 inch chelogy will pop a vesel.
      Game over boet.
      interweb nerds 1(one)
      kiff tit okes with lekka tans and pink vests that make protein baffs 0(zero)

      Listen, if you going to sign SL up to write for you okes then give us the heads up cause that will be titter than klapping gym boet.
      Infact I might compare it to banging two blonde belters.

      Peas Out (pun intended) or should that be raisins?

      • 67 BeastUltraPump
        March 8, 2010 at 12:44 pm

        Ag no Charna, why can’t I be a Interweb nerd and a vest wearing, raisin ball juiced up oke as well. Is it either or?

        I don’t want to fight SL, he’s the funny one, Its you other charnas that move in and out of character spoiling the whole feel to the article I originaly enjoyed… The one minute you okes are fellow vest wearing gym klapping charnas the next moment you charnas are tuning the pen is mightier than the sword kak and that personalities are important (which is flippin gay and lacking of wit) when we all know its got to do with bicep size.

        Raisins/peas out
        Not Gary (as he’s just as bad as you gay charnas)

  45. 68 Toffee Boy
    March 8, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    sorry my boetie, let me explain sarcasm: a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark.
    Basically what we interweb nerds did was to make fun of the okes that klap gym hard by pretending to be them for a minute whilst writing a short paragraph containing a taunt or cutting remark.
    This then made the article that our god SL wrote even funnier because his point was well understood.
    Then by some chance, Gary happened on the article and took great offence to it making him use his short pork chop fingers to type us a retaliatory remark.
    This pleased us interweb nerds so much that we lol’d and rofl’d and some of us even said WTF out loud.
    Then everyone joined in and made huge amounts of fun in Gary’s direction.
    So in closing, we are thin, pale blue interweb nerds that are having a laugh at the most excellently written article in ages.
    We probably bang more blonde belters than Gary can flex a pec at and we will continue to do so indefinetly.
    I hope this has cleared up the matter of us nerds changing character for you my boetie.

    Keep klapping it boet!!!!

    • 69 BeastUltraPump
      March 8, 2010 at 1:28 pm

      Ag no, Charna so guessing you saying cause my bicep is bigger then my mouse I can’t be one of your interweb Charnas, even though I myself lol’d at Gary and almost ROFL but with he mood swings I experience from the juice I cried for a bit as well.

      My point, my Charna professing to know what sarcasm is but lacking its application, even though you lol’d etc. at Gary’s total lack of interwebness you show’d your own lacking wit by resorting to personal attack instead of keeping to the original intent and feel of the article, hence my original complaint being, why sink to Gary’s level.

      I don’t really think any juice taking/raisin ball having/gym klapping charna really cares weather you are pale blue and lack chest hair to wax, so must be a problem you have with yourself. I’ve never pomped two blonde binters, so hope this makes me less threatening.

      Please don’t get your gang of interweb geeks (which I would love to be part of) to trace my IP and steal my back account details, this is just a comments page in the end of the day….

      Please may I join your interweb geek gang and we can ravage the interweb together and steal bank account details.

      • 70 BeastUltraPump
        March 8, 2010 at 1:48 pm

        I apologize Mr. Toffee, I now see the Juice obscured my vision and you weren’t even talking to me originally, but talking to Gord. I will now refrain from trolling this comment page for evermore.

        Sl truly one of the best articles I’ve ever read. A followup would be great. If you need before and after pics of my raisins will also be happy to oblige (obviously joking 🙂

    • 71 Larrils
      January 6, 2011 at 2:28 pm

      it’s ST, isn’t it?? not SL…
      Klapped it!

  46. 72 Toffee Boy
    March 8, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    No sweat Ultra
    I love these debates.
    I hereby accept your application to join our “Clan” (we don’t call it gang anymore)
    I will just need your Bank account number, branch and pin code to finalise your membership ;-))

    Go read this mans other articles boet you will rofl your ass off

  47. 73 The Salamander
    March 8, 2010 at 3:57 pm


    You know, i am someone who trains hard, and smashes a lot of protein and carbs in my face.
    I will also admit to owning one or two vests that would cause a newborn to grown cataracts.
    But i will say this my charna, well done on this article it is some of the funniest shyte i have read in a while. Training hard is important, but anyone who thinks getting to above a hundred kgs (depending on your height) is not going to toe punt your kidneys out your cat flap, has the insight of a box of tampons….moderation people.

    P.S Anybody builder who takes offence to this, obviously has a complex about something, this is funny, it is funny. If you dont think it’s funny, surf another site, but leaving a comment in attempt to defend yourself,you just fuel the argument that you are socially inadequate. Now GO SMASH THE PROTEIN SHAKE THAT YOU JUST CRIED IN IN YOUR FACE….

    Keep up the good work guys

  48. March 9, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Fokkit! Knew I was doing it wrong. Stupid vest – must go buy now!

  49. 76 JonathanAB
    March 9, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    OMG I LOL’d so hard I fell on the floor and then I ROFL’d!! This is the awesome! You, slicktiger are freaking funny. Such talent! Charna. So like, I am somewhere inbetween. I am an interweb nerd and I like the gym, but I HATE those striped palazzo pants and those vests with straps that just cover each nipple. Oh and PT short shorts that show off the stretch marks on the quads. I think the reason they wear so little is because if they wear anything normal they just look fat. Thanks for making my day. You KLAPPED it!

  50. 77 Gym-Rat 0077 (cause I'm too ripped for 1 7)
    March 10, 2010 at 10:54 pm

    Jjass charnas, dis interweb site has changed my life…I faught I had it all.

    Crusing wif my charnas, drinking castle lights in a free-litre cortina, we fought we were da manna!

    But we was weak little interweb geeks…in da backseat…while my ma drove…

    One day, after reading this interweb site, i knew it was time to klap gym boet.

    It has been 6 months, now I can bench press my ou lady en her cortina wif one arm and hold my charnas up on the other to really show how MASSIVE + RIPPED i now am.

    Boet, I tells you, every blonde belter and her best friend, between cape town and kroonstad has taken this MASSIVE rollercoaster ride!

    Thank you interweb site for helping me en my charnas on the road to be MASSIVE + RIPPED.

    Klap gym hard, or don’t klap at all boet! – gym-rat

  51. 78 Gym-Rat 0077 (cause I'm too ripped for 1 7)
    March 10, 2010 at 11:01 pm

    a wise man once tolde me…you can’t spell CARBS without BS!

  52. 79 Shoganator
    March 15, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    Jissis okes, this article NAILED it!

    One thing I just want to point out hey. Here’s another way of KLAPPING gym hard boet – it shows who is the boss and okes will show even more lank respect.

    Instead of just gooing those weights on the floor, every once in a while you should chuck them around a bit hey. Show your rage! otherwise oaks, keep KLAPPING it!

  53. 80 stickman
    March 30, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    this is absolute genius.

    flip, some of those oaks are FLIPPIN’ SHWET!

  54. 81 cyclepantcharna
    April 8, 2010 at 10:51 am

    Jasss lyk it Slicktiger i must say boet after reading dis vrieslika tips i are getting fliiping pumped to klap gym boet. I myst say befor ek was n klein suentjie wif no mhonster mussels and waas as skinny as a jew in a nazi prison but after i red dis articles i got pumped i are klapping da gym so hard now and its been 6 months.I did efree fing you said and are looking so flipping good i went and buy some vests white ones cos i gooed my vrieslike sterk body on to the beach and got tanned so dark dat the white vest brings out my tan and vys how riiped i was flip man. I fink you saved my lyf boet dankie Slick Tiger. Oh also me and my charnas was klapping gym hard on monday and i had my okes screeming at me in da gym to push harder and hit 5 more reps when 6 gym instructors came over to see how hard i was klapping gym flip man these two blond belters who was instructors where checking me out man flip this boosted my confidence to the max i mean really boet i was about to gooi the dumbels down hard to make a big noise to show all the cage fiters around how tuf i is, but dees 2 gym women boosted i so much i mean mayb an extra 80 percentage dat i didnt gooi the dumbells down but kept klapping it my charnas even stood back and stopped spotting me cos day new what was happening to my confidence flip after that i gooid the weights down so hard it made the paint from the roov chip off and land on my cheloger boet just too add i was wearing my new cycle pant so you can just check the shape of that thing boet the one meisie even dusted the paint off for me flip my confidence boosted to the max so i took my vest off and flexed with loud grunts just to strech my burning pecs and flip dees 2 women checked that flip man these to bokkies loved it man. After klapping it i was leaving when the 2 blond belters stopped me all they said was there age 42 and 35 flip im 18 so dis meant i got 2 blond belters dat are milfs. Dees two belters asked if i wanted to pomp guess what i said….. i said no! only if you bring your daughters ha check what i do boet i learn form the master and become a master myself. Anyway slicktiger im meeting them just now il let you know how many i pomp at da same time with my 1 inch i cant wait charna my life has changed thanks boetie.
    PS i cant waite to watch these blond belter milfs eat some raisins


    • April 10, 2010 at 9:27 am

      Charna, this flippin story of yours was flippin INSPIR-HATIONAL. I’ve read it about twice and the way you KLAPPED not only gym, but also the cycle pant AND the milfs shows me you flippin unnerstand CHARNA!

      Okes like you will go far in this life boet. Now see what you’ve done! Flippin making me write GAY shit like this – go smash some fuckin’ STEAKS, slam some roids in your butt and KLAP SOME FLIPPIN GYM BOET!

      And when the okes there check out your flippin MASSIVE AND RIPPED body and their flippin jaws hit the FLOOR, you tell them who sent you.

      Kief my boychie.


      • 83 cyclepantcharna
        April 12, 2010 at 12:02 pm

        flip it Slicktiger i jus came on quick to let you know i only have a few sexs of time right now as im about to meet the two blond belter milfs for round two vandag il let you know soon how things go but flip charnas i can only say im looking massive and ripped right now flipping pumped kief and my vains is showing like a rifer between mountains i quickly klapped gym boet hard and is looking ohso good anyway catch up wif you soon.

        Cycle Pant Charna out

        Whish i luck!

  55. 84 Wills13
    April 10, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    I just wanna go to gym now (and klap it) – Boet !!!!

  56. 85 T
    April 12, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    Hey i think most of these guys are horrible! Way over the top and overdone! I respect people and their choices but I do not personally find these guys attractive at all with all their bulging muscles, Ripped yes but not steroid killers! Gross!

    • 86 Hoof-Hearted
      April 20, 2010 at 2:25 pm

      Jirra T … you are obviously not one of the blonde belters and don’t have any friends hot enough to invite over to get banged AT THE SAME TIME by someone ripped and massive.
      Jealousy makes you lank nasty chick

  57. 87 Vixon
    April 21, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    HAH HAH was so funny, we need more like these, KEEP IT UP!!

  58. 88 jackie29
    April 30, 2010 at 8:14 am

    I dont even know how this works!!! Im back after 2 months…lol
    how Do People view each others PROFILES??! Grrrr

  59. 89 Embarrassed
    May 15, 2010 at 10:59 am

    Hey charna this is a big secret but it needs to come out boet. It’s so bad that I’d probably feel better saying I’m gay (which I’m not boet!)
    I had a weak moment and started eating carbs! Charna it’s bad, do you know of any rehab place that I can break the habit, I’m still flippen MASSIVE but i’m not as RIPPED as I was when I only ate protein, it’s so bad that the other day this one hot blonde belter said her freind will bang me AFTER her and not at the same time, I’m flippen scared boet.
    Learn from my mistakes charna’s!!!! Carbs are not worth it.
    As inspiration for all those wondering about if they should use steroids because they’re scared of their cheloger shrinking. Are you stupid charna!? you can stuff a sock in your lank sexy thong when you enter “who’s the MASSIVEST” competitions you can fake a big cheloger but you can’t fake being MASSIVE and RIPPED! it requirs dedi-flippen-cation! get your charnas involved so you can pull hot blonde belters together boet!

  60. 90 fokkenripped
    May 21, 2010 at 1:32 am

    jussis bru…you have a problem…your charnas obviously haven’t been paying attention to your eating habbits…pull yourself together and KLAP IT! except now you going to have to klap it at like maximum performance, which gives you reason to shout at your charnas twice as hard, double steroids and gym 8 days a week, 8 FUCKIN DAYS BOET! you have to klap it so hard and nail so many belters that you can sit on the couch (while klapping some small 100 kg dumbbells of course) and tell the government to make an extra day of the week for you to klap it!

  61. May 21, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    WOW, thanks buddy this is the most insightful piece of literature I have ever read. The Pictures are captivating and the descriptions are well for lack of a better word, memorizing. This article has made the world a better place and inspired me not to give up, ever. Cheers mates of to the gym!

  62. 92 Justo
    June 7, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    AWEE! sick bru! gonna hav to get kiff big for the soccer ladys!

  63. 93 donovan
    June 18, 2010 at 10:20 am

    I just re-read that. It’s fucking funny. That’s ALL I have to say about that.

  64. 94 Christopher Jukes
    June 29, 2010 at 8:28 am

    Listen charnas, one thing that always shows other okos in the gym how much wieght you can push and how flippen hard you klap gym is the amount of dum bells you keep around your benching chair, listen boet, i grip all dum bells from 20kg all the way to 35kg, that way when other okos need to grip say the 25Kg dum bells then they will comme to you, then they will see how HUGE you are, you also make more charnas like this and can exchange eating habits with eac other….FLIPPEN AWESOME.

    Also what i like to done is put about 120 Kg weights on the bench press and do one REAP during peak hour, then i talk to my Charnas for the rest of the time on my phone, that way when okos need to use that bench they will have to take those weights of and will know that your LANK HEAVY…but dont tell them that you and your charnas were klappiny it hard earlyer.

  65. July 22, 2010 at 10:49 pm

    Hahaha funniest thing i’ve read in a while!

  66. 97 DribbingUglyUgly
    August 12, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Gary, where you boet? i skiem your interwebs down, my gei. best you get one of those internet geeks to come fix it, and then drib him ugly afterwards, just for skops. also, eat a bowl of dicks.

  67. 98 MilfMuncher
    August 18, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    jussie boet. this reading matter is lank kiff my cuzzi.I fell bad even typing as i could be at gym doing a set of 10.any of you ripped okes tried sit-ups in the shower?,flip its working lank kiff for my abs.
    Check you okes at the drinking fountain.

  68. September 10, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    Thats flippin insane bru, one day i will be that tanned and ripped

  69. October 4, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    I am so going to go and klap some gym boet. Right now!

  70. 102 yves
    October 19, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    dude, those people are all freaks. They have turned looking good into a mechanical process of lifting weights all day. The brain power required is very minimal and I wonder how the impact of illegal untested animal steroids further on their cognitive capabilities.
    I know chics love these massive men. They believe they will bring them security until they
    realize that several millions years ago we moved on from the caveman and the world does not revolve around brute force. So I say, screw the gym. Take your brain to the gym god knows most of you need it.

    Peace out

  71. October 21, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Some of these pics originate from: http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

    which also has a show on DSTV called “is she really going out with him?”

    check them both out for some more shits and giggles.

    Also kudos, very funny stuff.

  72. 104 Pieletjie Pete
    November 2, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    Yislike my Charna this is a zef interweb oke! I was klapping my gym hard while 2 blondes where giving me some eyeballs cause they tuned I looked awesome like the okes on this intertube! hardcore my charna!! – po

  73. November 15, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    Hahaha oh man this was the best shit I’ve ever read! brilliant!

  74. 106 grinleer
    November 18, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    THAT has to be the funniest thing i’ve read all year!!!!!! I am SO amped to klap gym and i’m a chick! whahahahahahahahahah

  75. 107 grinleer
    November 18, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    THAT IS EPIC!!!!!!aaaaaaaah, such a laugh, feel much better now

  76. 108 Alex
    December 2, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Charna’s you must ALL go out and get your shake weights ASAP hey boets!!!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge