Why The Release Of Diablo III Terrifies Me

diablo3On the 15th May, the gaming world is going to lose it’s damn mind when Diablo III officially hits shelves and can you blame them?

When the original Diablo was released in 1996, it was an instant classic. The game was as dark as they come and insanely addictive.

But it was really Diablo II (released in 2000) that got its hooks into me personally. Blizzard took the concept from the previous game, expanded it tenfold and created a gaming masterpiece.

To say I got obsessed with that game is a gross understatement – I atebreathedlivedsleepedshat Diablo II for a long, long time. How long you ask? Try A YEAR AND A HALF PLAYING THE SAME CHARACTER!

Yeah. I played one character (the Necromancer) for a full year and a half and finished the game on normal, nightmare and hell difficulty levels and then got the expansion pack and did the same.



I was totally obsessed. With Diablo II they added this genius feature where if you finished the game on normal, you got knighted as “Sir”, finishing on nightmare earned you the title “Lord”, finishing on hell (which, let me assure you, was exactly what the name implies) earned you the title “Baron” and finishing the expansion pack on hell earned you the title “Patriarch”.

So yeah. If that doesn’t make my point about how obsessed with this game I was, I don’t think anything will.

Except maybe mentioning that I got my character all the way up to Level 76. See how I used a capital “L” there? Level 76, bitches! (He said, knowing full well he was setting himself up perfectly for some douche to gun him down with their Level 89 Barbarian in the comments section…)



It’s been 12 long years since those days. A LOT has changed. I’ve graduated varstiy, found gainful and meaningful employment, moved into a flat with the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever known and things are going well for me y’know?

I don’t NEED Diablo III in my life, I realise that. I can totally turn a blind eye to all the hype surrounding it and get by doing my day to day. I’m not an impressionable 17 year old anymore, I’ve matured a lot since then.

I think I’m in a much stronger place now than I was back then and if I had to say install it and just play a few hours on the weekends, I could definitely handle that.

Just a few hours on a Saturday morning when my girlfriend is at work and maybe a few more later that same day if we didn’t have any other plans y’know? And obviously a few on Sunday morning, cause who does anything on a Sunday?



And, depending on my workflow, an hour here and there during the week, in the evenings before I hit the hay, wouldn’t be such a bad thing would it? I could handle that, couldn’t I?

Sure I could! Hell, on slow days I could probably even handle an hour at work during my lunch break, I mean no one takes lunch breaks anymore right? Exactly! Time to take the power back, stick it to the man!

If I blogged less I could also get an hour or two extra, BOOM! I mean this site is cool and all, but I definitely think people would still dig it if I posted, say, once or twice a month, am I right?

If we got a maid to handle house stuffs, that would also free up a LOT of my time. J-Rab will be stoked if I do that because it means less house work for her as well and more time to read quietly in a corner somewhere while I SLAYTHEFUCKOUTOFEVERYTHINGISEE AAAARAGARARAGRAGAAGRAGAR!



Now all I need is a machine that can actually run it, but I’ve been thinking about getting myself a decent rig for awhile, to improve my productivity and shit y’know? I could just make a small withdrawal from the unit trusts I invested in so I’ll one day be able to afford a deposit on a house, no biggie.

And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is why the release of Diablo III terrifies me.

Watch this trailer if you have any doubts about how awesome this game is going to be and how badly it’s going to instantly addict all who play it.



Kiss your life goodbye, you won’t need it after you start playing.

See ya’ll in New Tristram Winking smile


6 Responses to “Why The Release Of Diablo III Terrifies Me”

  1. May 10, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Diablo 3 gonna be EPIC!!!! i personally used the the Barbarian and the Amazon. the Necromancer was too much work to play with. looking forward to the game thou

    • May 10, 2012 at 10:59 am

      “Too much work to play with” are you out of your fucking mind?!? Dude the Necromancer was the most chilled character ever – they hit me with a buncha badguys, I slayed the shit out of them and raised them STRONGER to fight for ME.

      Then I lit up a ciggy, waved my wand a bit and just chilled near the back somewhere while my minions fucked. Shit. Up.


  2. 3 dp
    May 10, 2012 at 10:16 am

    Necro. Every day of the week and twice on Friday when everybody else is out drinking and shacking up…

  3. May 10, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Ek sal my broek kak.

  4. 5 dp
    May 10, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Blood Golem forever. Also, look at these goobers stocking up for the Nerd-ocalypse. notice how they have a fallout bunker’s worth of food but only one box of smokes. lightweights.


    • May 11, 2012 at 10:00 am

      Not really sure if that junk classifies as actual food, mostly it just looks like cheese by-products, but they definitely fucked up on the smokes. They should have bought an entire carton, they could have instantly halved the amount of food.

      I swear to god, it’s like when the men used to go to war. The next 6 months this is where we’ll all be glued to our machines while the woman are forced to hold the fabric of society together.


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