Archive for May, 2012

31
May
12

Perspective Is Everything

perfectly-timed-photos-24Life comes outta nowhere. Just when things are going well, just when your ducks are getting into neat rows and you’re taking those suckers down and you’re thinking “I’ve got this…”

That’s when it happens. Something changes the game, something you could never anticipate comes along and in an instant everything is suddenly different.

I am that curveball today. A walking, talking, “Hi how are you?” smiling curveball. It’s one thing to be at the receiving end, you’re oblivious until it happens and then it’s over. But when the glove is on the other fist? Fahk… that shit is too intense.

30
May
12

Diablo III Update – Vast Improvement

diablo_3My last post about D3 wasn’t very complimentary because, to put it simply, the game wasn’t working for shit.

Good news is that Blizzard have sorted out the “Error 37” issue and I’ve finally been able to log some solid game time (much to the detriment of my sex life).

I’ve only been playing the Starter Edition but D3 already has it’s claws in me. Like its predecessors, Diablo III is dark, atmospheric and badass. The art direction on the game is insane, as is the level of detail. It’s still early days for me playing this game, but here’s what I like so far:

In-game physics:

29
May
12

“Make Good Art” – Neil Gaiman’s Address At Art School Graduation

neilgaimanThought I’d feature another one of the people I look up to here on TFW today because you need to read his stuff if you haven’t already.

The man goes by the name of Neil Gaiman and he’s the guy who wrote The Sandman graphic novel series among other notable works (including Coraline, Stardust and my personal favourite, Good Omens).

Also, after posting Andy Samberg’s graduation speech at Harvard, which is just one huge joke, I felt I had to redeem myself  by posting something you might actually learn something from especially if, like me, you are an aspiring writer or artist.

29
May
12

Primus Back From The Grave, Literally

altthumb.phpI’ve said it before on this site, it’s not a very popular view but I don’t give a rat’s ass, I fucking love Primus.

It’s probably not a very popular view because of two simple reasons: 1) No one knows who they are and b) if they do, they can’t handle how intensely batshit crazy their music is.

Take the best bass guitarist you’ve ever heard in your life and feed him a bucketload of mind-bending drugs and you’ve got Les Claypool, the driving force behind this band and the man slapping the shit out of the bass guitar in the track I’m about to play you.

28
May
12

Brandy. Not Just for Grandad

Fine brandy by designIf I asked you how long you think South Africa has been making brandy for, what would you guess? A hundred years? Two hundred? Two-fiddy?

No. South Africa has been making brandy for no less than three hundred and forty years and nine days.

On the 19th May 1672 the first brandy was made on South African soil by a cook off a Dutch ship called “De Pijl”. The man was nothing short of a visionary and his brandy was of such exceptional quality that it was rumoured that he even accepted patron’s clothing in exchange for a tot of his product.

28
May
12

Kevin Spacey Is A Douche

74177850EA006_Gotham_MagaziWhich is a pity. Because I really used to like Kevin Spacey – he seemed like a really nice, genuine guy. A stand-up dude who would recognise amazing talent the second he saw it.

That’s what motivated me to enter the Jameson First Shot competition at the end of last year. Ol’ Kev was running the competition and it sounded like the break I’ve been waiting for.

It was pretty straightforward; write a seven page script for a short film, send it through and if Kev liked it, he’d let you direct it while he acted in and produced it.

25
May
12

Andy Samberg’s Speech At Harvard

600full-andy-sambergWhy in God’s name you’d want to book Andy Samberg as the special guest speaker at a Harvard graduation ceremony is totally beyond me, but the results are goddamn priceless!

From hitting on all the hot moms to hitting on all the hot dads (?) to doing awesome impressions, from the minute Samberg gets on stage to the minute he gets off he basically says nothing of any real value, academic of otherwise.

If this is the way the world is heading, I can tell you two things about the future of mankind: 1. We are going to get a LOT dumber and 2. It’s going to be goddamn HILARIOUS!

24
May
12

3 MORE Tips To Make Your Life Too Awesome To Handle

cheesy-smileGreat news guys! I’ve gotten my hands on some more life-changing tips to make your life too awesome to handle!

So grab a pen from the handy craft caddy I showed you how to make the last time I made your life too awesome to handle and let’s take the awesomeness of your life to a whole other level!

And no, I don’t HAVE to end every sentence in this post with an exclamation mark, but enthusiasm is contagious and nothing says “I’m enthusiastic” better than CAPITAL LETTERS, EXCESSIVE PUNCTUATION AND ANTI-DEPRESSANTS WASHED DOWN WITH AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF RED WINE!!!!!

Tip #1:

23
May
12

Short Story: Dead Ringer

mental1It’s been nearly a year since I last posted a short story on this crazy junkyard site, but that’s not because I ain’t been writin’ ‘em!

The following piece is one of my more recent attempts. It’s based on a writing exercise I did a few weeks back that I think turned out pretty well.

I call it Dead Ringer.

Maria woke in a warm sluggish fog of dreamy half-thoughts. She struggled unsuccessfully to open her anvil-heavy eyelids and take in her surroundings. She felt warm and cosy and could taste the damp, earthy scent of fresh pine.

21
May
12

The Tiger Gets Diablo III. Bangs. Head. Against. Wall.

Diablo_III_coverTwelve fucking years man, twelve fucking years! That is a long-ass time to wait for a game sequel to come out – you’d expect the final product to run like clockwork, right?

WRONG MUTHUFUKKAH! On the weekend I got my dirty paws on the “Starter Edition” of D3 just to see if my Macbook can handle it before I fork out R630 rand on this game.

Cause that’s a lotta flippin’ DOUGH y’know? Almost half a tank of petrol right there!

After some issues with the guest pass, I download the game (it’s nearly 8 gigs so prepare yourself for some hardcore bandwidth face-raping) and fired it up, all excited and ready to slay EVEEERRRRRYYYYYYTTTHHHIIIINNNNGGGGGG!