Archive for April, 2013


Escape Monday: Bastille Performing In The British Museum

tumblr_mkfkwscZ8b1qlmrr1o1_1364575136_coverI’m deviating from my norm when it comes to Escape Monday posts and instead of posting a series of beautiful images, I’m just posting one video that really hit home when I saw it last week.

I have my main man Peggles to thank for this video, he sent it last week and though I’d heard the song countless times before on radio, this version really made me realise what an amazing piece of music this is.

For me, this is what music, real music, is about. There’s no fancy production, no weird blips or bleeps or squelchy basslines or epic drops. Just four guys, one guitar, some pretty creative percussion and a whole lotta heart.

This is Bastille with “Pompeii”. Enjoy.



Hope that helped you guys to Escape Monday for a bit. I know it sure as hell helped me.

Have an awesome day guys.

Your Tiger pal,



Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part XV): Cyclomaniacs Epic

1835662-armorgames-cyclomaniacs-epicI worked so hard this week (with the exception of going to Metallica, although staying alive in the mosh pit was pretty hard work…) that I’ve been dreaming work. It’s not even 9am yet and I’m DEAD tired.

When the weekend finally lands in a blissful cloud of doing absolutely fuck all, you aren’t going to find a happier Tiger. The amount of nothing I’m going to do will be legendary.

In the meantime, because I’ve done the work of about three people this week, that means that two of you out there reading this can totally get away with doing no work today whatsoever. That’s where Cyclomaniacs Epic comes in…

I featured the first Cyclomaniacs game here awhile back and sank a good couple of days into playing that one. It’s a great game because it’s so damn simple.

You chose a rider. You navigate a course and if you get enough speed, you pull off sweet jumps, wheelies, front and back flips and inverts.



That’s pretty much all there is to it. The more tricks you land the higher your boost bar gets and the better chance you have of huge jumps and ridiculous tricks.

The difference between Epic and the previous versions is better graphics and more characters to choose from. Also if you fluff a trick you don’t restart from the previous checkpoint which is pretty handy.

You can play Cyclomaniacs Epic by clicking on this magical, time-wasting hyperlink.



TOTAL TIME WASTED: Hard to say. I had to pull out of this one cause I could feel it was going to suck the time right our of me. In total, I reckon you could crack the entire game in about 8 hours straight, so 1 full working day should do the trick
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: Solid 80%, hands down. I mean what’s not to like? Cool bikes, funny-lookin characters, sweet jumps. Whole lotta win right there.
FINAL VERDICT: Good, clean, official written warning fun times. Do it! Do it now!


Have a killer weekend Party People.

See ya’ll back at the grind next week.




The Heroes Of The Day

Metallica1Last night in the frontlines at the Bellville Velodrome, I fought a war. Powerchords thundered like mortar fire as thousands of us chanted the battlecries we knew so well in unison.

It was a beautiful thing to be a part of and I was in the thick of it, barely three metres from the front guardrail, close enough to feel the heat from the flames and smell the sulphur of the gunpowder.

And all the while the undisputed Gods of metal raged on, ripping their fretboards apart, kicking holes through the drumkit and feeding off the energy we threw at them like sweet nectar only to amplify it a thousand-fold and blast it right back at us.

Was the Metallica concert at the Velodrome last night awesome? Was it mind-blowing? Was it life-changing? Did it affirm what a fucking incredible band Metallica are and what an impossible act they are to follow? In a phrase I know James Hetfield himself would approve of, all I can say is FUCK YEAH.



I go to watch live bands for everything you don’t get on the album. I go for the energy they create onstage, I go to feel their presence, hear their banter and most importantly I go to try to understand what they are actually like as people because that’s the closest I know I’ll ever get to them.

The problem with approaching concerts in this way is I become hyper-critical of everything the band does. I go with huge expectations and in some instances I’m let down and what was once a favourite band gets thrown onto the gigantic trash heap of bands I used to like.

From the minute they got onstage last night until the minute they left to a deafening roar of applause, James, Lars, Kirk and Rob tore through a monster two and a half hour set of old and new material that left us so broken by the end they should have had wheelchairs ready to take us back to our cars.



They played all the old classics I posted yesterday – “Sanitarium”, “Master Of Puppets” and “Seek And Destroy” (that was their last song and holy fucking shit did they do it justice, the mosh pit was so intense I’m surprised I got out alive) plus new material off Death Magnetic and they played it with a shitload of heart.

That’s the thing about last night’s performance, the entire band put everything into it. They sweated blood onstage, grinning from ear to ear throughout. Metallica are professionals and they love what they do and that’s what made last night for me.

If you think about it, they’ve probably played these songs a thousand times, a hundred thousand times, a thousand thousand times. I wouldn’t even want to hear a song as many times as they’ve played some of their songs and yet they had so much fun doing it, they put so much energy into the performance that all their stuff felt fresh, like it could have been written three months ago not thirty years ago.



And James’ onstage banter was awesome. He’s a showman, a true performer and for a guy in his fifties he’s in pretty amazing shape, they all are. Except maybe Lars… but when you see what that guy does behind a drumkit, it’s no wonder he looks a little haggard.

Normal drummers sit behind a kit, plying their trade, meat and potatoes stuff. Lars fucking climbs into his drum kit, he’s a fucking animal behind that thing, limbs flailing, tongue out, landing drum fills like machinegun fire. What a total fucking badass.



It was an incredible concert – everything from the staging to the lighting to the sound and even the logistics (parking was piss easy, there was no cue for Golden Circle, getting drinks was a matter of 15 mins at the most) were world class.

The only tragedy of the entire thing is that Metallica themselves will never read this post, as much as I wish they could, as much as I wish I could explain to them how much it meant to me, and everyone else at the Velodrome, that they put so much heart into their performance last night and cared enough about their fans all the way at the bottom of Africa to come down here and put on the show they did.

I might have had my doubts in the past, but after last night’s performance I can say with unwavering conviction that Metallica truly are the heroes of the day.



What Is The Best Metallica Song Of All Time?

metallica-promo-photo-1200x12001Metallica has been around for a long-ass time – the band formed back in 1981 and have been going pretty strong (with the exception of St. Anger) ever since.

So that’s a good 32 years of fucking shit up like shit has never been fucked up before or since. They are considered the Godfathers of Thrash along with Slayer, Anthrax and Megadeth and tonight they are going to melt faces.

Through a stroke of pure luck, I got my hands on a Golden Circle ticket on Monday so tonight I plan to be about 5m from the stage, losing my mind in an ocean of thrash metal glory. METALLICA RRARGRAHRGHAGHARGAHRGAHRGAAA!

Which brings me to the central question of this post – what’s your favourite Metallica song of all time?

It’s a tricky one. I fucking love their old school shit. Take “Sanitarium” for example. How fucking badass is this live version from 2011?



And what about a classic like “Seek And Destroy”? Check out this fucking SICK live performance from ‘89. Hooo-weee! If they rock this tonight, people are literally going to lose their minds.



And then there’s “Master Of Puppets”. Eat your breakfast off a mirror motherfucker! RARARARARARRAARARAGAHAGHAGAHRARAAHGAH!



But to be honest, one of my favourite Metallica songs of all time is probably their cover of “Whiskey In The Jar”. The official music video is also seriously radass.

Check it:



Fuck yeah the 90s were awesome! Look at all those dirty girls, that’s what it was like ALL THE TIME! People just drinking and smoking and runny eyeliner all over the place and vomit and more drinking.

So what’s your favourite Metallica song of all time?

Tell Uncle Tiger.



Ducks Are Very, Very Fucked Up

PLUSH_2711_ALT_4b5488a6362b0Jesus. I actually have no idea how to describe what I’ve just seen and almost feel bad re-posting it here for you, my poor unsuspecting readers, to have to try to deal with.

Ducks, as it turns out, are extremely, extremely fucked up. You know the famous expression “fuck a duck”? Probably not seeing as I invented it… but anyway, long story short, do not EVER fuck a duck. EVER.

What you’re about to see is two things 1) Expertly narrated by Morgan Freeman and 2) the very stuff nightmares are made of. I am not being over dramatic here, think very carefully before you watch this because it will destroy your perception of ducks forever.

Good luck watching this soldier. I’ll be right here when it’s over, probably also staring at my screen in total disbelief.

Here goes…



Yeah. What the actual fuck.

I’m going home to scrub myself raw with steel wool and rubbing alcohol.

And to think I fed those fuckers my bread.

Never again.



Escape Monday: What Archaeologists Of The Future Will Find

maico-akiba-moss-6I love the idea of a future where the gears of industry, commercialism and capitalism grind to a halt, the population plummets back down to less than a billion and we go back to living a simpler way of life.

As long as my iPad keeps working. And my laptop. And my cell phone. And the internet. You know, the basics of human survival. Life without any one of those things would be pretty much unbearable.

I was browsing Neatorama yesterday and came across these sick household items that have been treated to look like they’re from 100 years into the future. It’s all part of a project artist Maico Akiba put together and it’s motherflippin awesome.

Have a look-see:













SO wearing that shirt for my next client meeting, ous will be lank impressed.

Incidentally, if you ever want to make moss grow on something pretty much overnight, paint that mofo with yoghurt.

Now you know.



The Tiger Makes One Lucky Reader’s Weekend (#5Gum Winner)

winner-trophyIn internet competitions, as in life, there can sadly only be one winner and though I’d like to reward EVERYONE who entered the #5GumExperience competition yesterday, sadly I don’t have enough tickets.

The challenge was to write in the comments section and tell me what the term “Gonzo journalism” means to you cause yeah, that’s what I’m looking for, a little Gonzo journalist to send on my behalf.

Before we get into the winner, here’s what Gonzo journalism means to me. For starters it’s subjective as fuck, YOUR thoughts, YOUR feelings, YOUR experiences in their rawest, least filtered form. It is unapologetic, abrasive and real. It’s the truth, YOUR truth, whether people like it or not.

So, after much deliberation on my part, I’ve finally chosen a winner and that lucky person. Is none other than. LEAH – YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Congrats you flippin’ badass! In case you were wondering, here’s Leah’s entry:

Gonzo journalism,reporting it as i see it, breathe it, and experience it, with all the elements that makes the Kooks concert amazing! And who needs a tiger onesie when i can paint my body and face and be more creative(and possibly more wonderfully crazy looking:))!

Ps. Im am absolutely restless with the idea of not being able to go, would be eternally grateful, and how cool would it be to write and article and have an excuse to take more pictures than usual!

Can’t fault Leah’s enthusiasm one bit – Tiger body paint for the flippin’ WIN! Here’s a taste of what you’ll be experiencing on Sat night you lucky fish!



Leah, I’ll be emailing you your tickets shortly. To everyone else who entered I hope that some tickets somehow find their way to you because this weekend is gonna be off the CHIZAIN!

With that I’m hanging up my spurs for the day and drinking a cold beer.

Fuck yeah.



Friday Lolz – Now Featuring A Double-Dose Of What The Fuck

tumblr_mkwewaHjzC1rccsbqo1_1280I tell ya, the older I get the weirder my sense of humour becomes. It’s reaching a stage where I’m seriously starting to think the things that crack me up are literally funny to no one but me.

So here’s a little experiment in taste. Today I’m going all out with my Friday Lolz and posting some truly bizarre shit that I found hilarious to see if anyone out there relates.

If this shit makes you laugh, leave a comment below and let’s see how many comments I rack up by the end of the day. I’m not a gambling man, but if I was, I’d bet on about two (if I’m lucky).

To be fair, not all of this made me crack up, some of it I’m just posting because it’s fucking weird.

Are ya ready kids?















And my all-time favourite of the week…



Have a killer weekend Party People. I’ll be announcing the #5gum winner at lunchtime.



Represent The Tiger, Win 2 x Tickets For The CT #5GumExperience

Kooks 5GumThere’s a badass story about Hunter S Thompson when he was covering the campaign trail back in ‘72 and he gave his press pass to this raging maniac he met on a train.

This guy then used the pass to get access into this high profile press conference with all these presidential candidates where he proceeded to heckle the shit out of them and act like a total maniac.

The point of this whole story is that I can’t make the #5GumExperience here in CT on Saturday, so I’m giving my tickets away to one lucky reader to attend the event on my behalf and act as a Gonzo journalist for the site.

It’s a pretty sweet gig – all you gots to do is take lots of pics and tell me what it was like afterwards so I can put a post on the site, crediting the shit out of you and making you look like a total badass.

In return you get to watch The Kooks playing songs like this one LIVE right before your eyes!



To win the tickets, hit up the comments section below and explain what your understanding of the term “Gonzo journalism” is in no more than 3 sentences and I’ll pick a winner at 1.30pm tomorrow.

As always, you’ll get bonus points for getting a chuckle out of your Tiger pal OR promising to wear some kind of Tiger hat / onesie at the gig.

May the best maniac win!



Gangster Granny – Just What Your Thursday Needs

Gangster GrannyIn a lot of ways this video goes directly against the laws of nature – grannies are supposed to be sweet and docile, they’re supposed to knit and bake cookies and read bedtime stories to the grandkids.

But not Gangster Granny. Gangster Granny is here to do two things, which you will learn about shortly when the audition tape you’re about to see gets to that bit.

Bottom line is I very much doubt we’ll be seeing Gangster Granny at the movies anytime soon. I just really wander about the people who write this shit – I mean surely they can do better than a script about an ass-kicking granny!



“I came here for two things, to suck some hard candy and suck some dicks!”

Err… not quite. Nice try though.

Can’t fault these ladies for trying. Especially the red (orange?) head who looks like she escaped from a loony bin.