Archive for March, 2013

28
Mar
13

Help Your Tiger Pal Shine A Light

Naw1How much is ten dollars?

At the current exchange rate, $10 works out to be exactly R92.89. So right now, $10 will buy you 7 litres of petrol, roughly 5 beers, maybe a decent steak provided you don’t go somewhere too pricey.

But to Naw, an HIV positive woman living in rural Thailand, that $10 could change her life.

I heard about Naw from a man by the name of Daylin Paul (Mr D on the site) who, besides being one of the best photo journalists I’ve ever met, is also a stand up guy and one of the few who has chosen a life of hardship and sacrifice for the good of others.

He packed his life up last year and struck out for Thailand to work with NGOs there and fight the good fight for the poverty-stricken people living in rural parts of the country without access to so many things we take for granted.

 

 

At this point I know a lot of you reading this are probably thinking, “Why the hell didn’t he stay here in SA and fight the good fight in his own country?”

He did for awhile and has worked as a photo journalist for the Cape Times and Cape Argus and now divides his work between Africa and Asia which is what brought him to Thailand where he currently resides.

His current project involves trying to raise awareness about HIV in communities in Thailand where they are cut off from modern conveniences and access to information.

In these parts of Thailand there is a strong social stigma still attached to HIV / AIDS and a shocking lack of understanding of the disease.

This is something Daylin seeks to address by documenting the hardships people in rural Thailand endure through Naw, a single mother living with HIV who works six days a week in conditions that most healthy people would struggle to cope with.

 

 

Daylin has an Indiegogo page (http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/a-mother-s-story) where he’s trying to raise a modest $2500 to fund this photography / multimedia project.

His end goal is to get his work either published or have it featured in an exhibition where it can be used as a tool to promote greater awareness of HIV in rural communities in Thailand whilst highlighting the amazing work that NGOs are doing that often goes unnoticed.

But seriously, this post does no justice to Daylin or his project, you need to check out his Indiegogo page and get donating.

At the moment he’s managed to raise just over $400 so he’s still got a ways to go. I figure if we, the good people of SlickTigerLand, each do our part to pledge $10 to his cause, he’ll reach his target goal and get the funding he needs by the end of next week.

Let’s shine a light guys. Daylin has 27 days left to reach his target – share this with your friends and your friend’s friends and let’s make it happen.

-ST

27
Mar
13

Album Review: Atoms For Peace – Amok

f6f069cfThe Down Lizzo:

Back in 2006 Thom Yorke released his solo album The Eraser, a weird collection of quirky melodies, complex time signatures and flawless production that made for some really compelling listening.

So much so that he started recruiting band members so he could perform the material off the album live.

It wasn’t an easy task, Yorke knew he needed exceptionally skilled musicians who would understand the subtle nuances of his music and bring his material to life onstage, paying special attention to the complex, intertwining melodies that define his body of work.

So yeah, naturally he chose Flea.

 

 

As it turned out though, the pairing was a classic example of an idea that was just crazy enough to work.

After jamming The Eraser tracks live together along with long-time Radiohead producer Nigel Godrich and Joey Waronker (the ex-drummer of, wait for it, RE-fucking-M) Flea and Yorke jumped into studio together and started working on new material and that, boys and girls, is how Atoms For Peace was formed.

Sick Tracks:

I’ll say this about Amok, if anything, it’s a grower. Don’t expect wonders the first time you listen to it. It’s like that quiet dude who sits in the corner of the office not really saying much to anyone who you pretty much dismiss completely the first time you meet him.

Then over time he starts opening up and you realise he’s this total enigma, this creepy, quirky, strangely fascinating person who is 45 years old and still lives with his mom.

 

 

On first listen, the sinister undertones of “Default” and the slow build and subtle, haunting melodies of “Judge, Jury And Executioner” will probably stand out above the other tracks on the album as both subscribe to a more conventional song structure and actually have hooks.

The album closer “Amok” also stands out once you get past the irritating percussion and the 4 minutes it takes for the song to get going.

The rest, I dunno. Even after repeated listens nothing has really grabbed me on this album.

It feels like an album of ideas more that actual riffs and hooks and while I can appreciate what they’re doing from an intellectual standpoint and dig the complexity of the tracks on this album, given another week or two and I don’t think I’ll ever listen to it again.

 

Should You Give A Shit:

I strongly suspect I might be too stupid to “get” what the big fuss about this album is. The songs don’t really progress as much as they sweep slowly back and forth like waves lapping the shoreline at low tide.

You can play the entire thing from beginning to end in the background and I can almost guarantee that when it’s finished you’ll emerge from this vague shuffly-beats-induced trance with almost no recollection of anything you’ve just heard.

“Huh,” you’ll say. And life will carry on.

Also, where the fuck is Flea?! Seriously, if I hadn’t been told he was part of Atoms For Peace, he’s the last person I’d think was laying down the wonky basslines on this album.

Anyway, here’s “Default” in case you’re interested:

 

 

Final Verdict: 6/10

-ST

26
Mar
13

Okes WHo LIke To Klap It #21: 80s Fighting Mullet CHarna

80s mullet manIt’s a flippin’ FACT OF LIFE that sooner or later in any klap gym boychay’s life another ou is gonna check out your BUFF TAN, your TIGHT “TAP OUT” VEST your magical POWERBALANCE bracelt and decide to cause kak.

Luckilly in such a instance, your naturally uncontrollable ROID RAGE will give you a edge over your opponant, BUT it’s also lank important to know the right way to flippin MOER the ou stukkend.

That’s where the legend ou that is 80s Fighting Mullet Charna comes into the picture. This ou will choon you straight about the advantages of moering ous with a “heads-butt” and using the “no more viscious tool” than the elbow.

Watch this flippin OFF THE CHAIN ou and take notes, there WILL be a test.

 

 

I dunno about you ous but I’m so flippin RELIEFED to know that my heads-butt will ALWAYS work on a ou whether I’m 30, 50, 80 or flippin 180! Which is how long people will live once they make us into klap gym terminator robots of the future.

Also, this ou has taught me a flippin’ BUFF way of opening a spanspek that I never knowed could serve a dual purpoze of getting breakfast ready AND learning how to MOER A OKE STUKKEND.

Don’t ever tell ous that your boychay Slicky-T doesn’t help you ous out cause I’ll come find you and heads-butt you till you eating outta a straw boet!

KLAP IT!

-ST

26
Mar
13

Monopoly Is For Assholes

MonopolyManOn Saturday morning I drank six cups of coffee as I sat writing the first chapter of the book that’s gonna make me a famous for something other than writing the SlickTiger Guide To Klapping Gym, Boet.

I got the entire chapter out, not quite the way I’d planned it but close enough, and afterward this weird feeling of satisfied detachment washed over me that I wasn’t expecting.

I was happy with what I’d written but I’d climbed so far into the world of my story that, as dramatic as it sounds, coming back to reality was difficult. It was in this detached state of mind that I decided it would be a good idea to buy a Monopoly board.

It’s probably been a good fifteen years or longer since I played Monopoly last, but it was fun back when we were kids right? Overcast winter days spent hiding under blankets playing marathon games of Monopoly and sipping hot chocolate, good times right?

So I convinced Graumpot and his lady that instead of J-Rab and I coming over to eat pizza and watch movies, we were going to come over and play Monopoly and it was going to be awesome just like when we were kids, KAPOW!

 

 

So we set everything up and started playing and very quickly two things became apparent: 1) This was hardly the thrill-a-minute game I remembered from my childhood and 2) I was basically the only person who remembered how to play.

Oh, another thing also became apparent – whoever designed the new South African version of Monopoly is very clearly retarded.

I mean how Blouberg Strand, Tygervalley and fucking Mitchell’s Plain can be worth more than Sandton, Randburg and Hyde Park is beyond me.

Also (spoiler alert) Boksburg, Soweto and Hillbrow are worth more that Plett, Knysna and Wilderness.

 

 

It took awhile for us to get things going but before I knew it I’d managed to buy up all the pink and yellow properties which I very quickly started building houses on.

Soon afterward the wheels started coming off. I had random properties that other people needed to start building houses. When asked how much I wanted for said properties, the only child in me (read: greedy little asshole) started rearing his greedy little asshole head.

“One thousand,” I firmly replied.

“What the fuck the property’s only worth 250!”

“One thousand,” I repeated unflinchingly. “If I give you this, you’ll start building houses and that will definitely come back to bite me in the ass.”

“Dude, you’re the only one with houses on the board! If you don’t sell some of those other properties, none of us will be able to fucking play the game! I’ve already got the other two, just sell the last one to me for a decent price and stop being such a douche. Three fifty. C’mon.”

“One thousand,” I said, completely unwilling to negotiate with the terrorist forces that were threatening to usurp my game of Monopoly.

 

 

Not long after that, cash started rolling in thick and fast and I somehow managed to acquire the red properties as well which I also started developing hell for leather.

I’m not sure at which point I realised that I was the only person actually having fun but when that realisation dawned on me things got pretty damn awkies.

“Is anyone actually having fun playing this game?” I eventually blurted out, hoping beyond hope that someone else would say yes.

A resounding silence settled over the room, interrupted only by the distant sound of a lonely cricket grinding his legs together in a desperate attempt to get laid.

“Fuck,” I said. “How about I sell you guys some properties, special discount, nine hundred a pop!”

Once again, the lonely cricket.

“Christ, does anyone actually want to carry on playing?” I asked in exasperation.

“No,” Graum replied. “I mean, there’s no point dude. Even if you do sell us those properties, no one has any money to buy any houses on them cause we keep paying it all to YOU.”

“Huh,” I replied. “I guess that’s that then. Best R300 I ever spent…”

 

 

We packed up the board in awkward silence and then sat and stared at one another for a bit.

Luckily wine was at hand (though obviously J-Rab couldn’t indulge) and so things soon loosened up a little and an hour later Monopoly was just a distant, awkward memory.

I was so unsatisfied by the whole ordeal that I seriously considered trying to take the board back the next day and get a refund on the grounds that I had this false childhood memory that Monopoly is awesome when it’s actually a gigantic pile of shit game that is fun for no one.

The problem is there’s no way to fight back after a certain point in the game and that point comes frighteningly quickly.

If you don’t get a good haul in the initial land-grabbing phase, you’re fucked. And if you do get a good haul, you better be willing to make some deals you’ll probably regret later in the game or you risk going the SlickTiger route and crushing your opponents like ants two hours into the game.

The following day, J-Rab and I were bored and decided to play just the two of us and my God did the tables turn!

 

 

It was merciless. Actually no, I lie, it was merciFUL which made it worse because even though she was sharing her Free Parking jackpots with me and letting me off paying rent in some instances, she was still murdering the fuck out of me and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.

Suddenly childhood memories of overturned Monopoly boards, hurling those little metal pieces at my “friends” and screaming my very first swear words all came sharply into focus as I realised the undeniable truth that Monopoly is for assholes.

So the moral here is the next time one of your buddies decides to have a Monopoly evening to relive the nostalgia of youth, rather kick that fucking douchebag right in the shin as hard as you can and ask him, “Was that fun? No? Well neither the fuck is Monopoly.”

The End.

-ST

25
Mar
13

Escape Monday: Surreal Artwork of Igor Morski

sw-04Ever since I got my filthy little mitts on this gigantic Dali coffee table book back when I was eleven or twelve years old, I’ve always really enjoyed good surrealism.

Sure, there are millions of artists who do it really badly and deserve to be fed mind-altering hallucinogenic drugs until they can do it right, but every once in awhile a decent once comes around like Igor Morski.

I’m not saying this guy is going to change the world with his paintings, but I found them at least interesting enough to repost for you guys to have a look at and decide for yourselves if he’s any good.

His work goes a little something… like this…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pretty intense stuffs right there. You can check out more of his work here.

Also, kudos to Abduzeedo which is where I found all the pics above.

Good luck with the rest of today everyone. I know it’s Monday, BUT because Friday is a public holiday, you can totes pretend today is actually Tuesday.

Radass Winking smile

-ST

25
Mar
13

R1k iTunes Voucher Winner Winner Chicken DInner!

winner-illustration1I’m about to make someone’s Monday very, very cool because after much deliberation over the weekend, I’ve finally chosen an entry from last week’s King Price competition to win the R1k iTunes voucher.

I asked everyone to watch the King Price commercial that’s been on TV recently where this guy comes up with this crazy story as to how King Price are able to lower their car insurance premiums every month.

Then I invited you crazy basterds to write your own convoluted stories as to how you think King Price is able to lower its car insurance premiums every month and said the funniest, most original one would take home the bacon.

So, with no further ado, I am proud to announce that the winner of the King Price competition iiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssss…

JABULANI! CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE JUST WON A R1 000 ITUNES VOUCHER COURTESY OF KING PRICE!

Besides the fact that Jabulani entered the competition twice (which was totes legit, I said you could enter as many as three times, but no more) which in itself showed a commendable level of dedication, his entry about “Dr King Price” got a chuckle out of me – here it is:

King Price can afford to decrease their premiums month by month because they also moonlight as a sangoma, Dr. King Price. They advertise everywhere – via pamphlets, posters, Gumteee – about their services of bringing back lost lovers, getting you that promotion, organising ‘short boys’ to bring you money and much more. As you can imagine, lots (I mean LOTS) of people make use of their unique services, so this alternate revenue stream brings in a truckload of cash and that’s why they can afford to decrease premiums.

Jabulani, I’ll be hitting you up a little later today to sort you out with your iTunes voucher.

 

 

To everyone else, thanks for your entries, they were all really strong but sadly, just like the great and highly underrated movie franchise The Highlander says, there can only be one.

Check back in a lunchtime for some Escape Monday goodness.

Later Party People.

-ST

22
Mar
13

Are You A Social Farter?

fartFarting means different things to different people. To me, farting is something I will never, ever do in front of people if I can avoid it. It’s just not the way I was brought up. Farting is for the bathroom and that’s that.

However, friends of mine, good people, will often unleash trumpet-blast farts at full volume when we’re hanging out with other people that they know have loose morals when it comes to public farting.

I hate this. A fart is basically a blast of microscopic shit particles into the air. When I’m smelling your fart, tiny particles of your shit are going into my nose and mouth and to be perfectly frank I think that’s fucking disgusting.

Which I guess is kinda hypocritical because I still find farting pretty hilarious, provided I don’t have to smell it. That’s why the following video gets the Tiger stamp of approval:

 

 

Siff. That’s all I have to say about that.

Have a killer weekend Party People, see ya’ll on Monday Winking smile

-ST

20
Mar
13

Worst Knock-Knock Joke Of All TIme

KnockknockI tell ya, it’s a fucking slow day today – there is literally nothing cool happening on the internet except for this bizarre video I dug up from god-knows-when (the 90s I’m guessing?).

This video is undeniable proof of why you should never give your children false hope. You should never tell them they are brilliant at something that you know full well they suck at.

Otherwise your offspring will end up on TV gameshows like this little asshole, making idiots of themselves in front of millions of people for all eternity. If my son did this on public TV I’d definitely ground him until he was 30.

Time to get your cringe on.

 

 

Keyboard cat was a nice touch. In fact, keyboard cat is the reason I even bothered posting this in the first place.

God bless you keyboard cat.

-ST

19
Mar
13

Win a R1k iTunes Voucher With King Price And Your Tiger Pal

King Price LogoCompetition time here on TFW boys and girls and this week I’m offering up a R1 000 iTunes voucher to one lucky reader who is able to KLAP the challenge I’m about to set you guys.

So, here’s the dealy-o. King Price Insurance is the only insurance company that actually decreases your car insurance premiums month by month.

Their reasoning behind doing this is simple, it’s a fact that cars are a depreciating asset so in other words the older your car gets, the less it’s worth, so why should your insurance premiums increase month by month, that doesn’t make any damn sense!

You guys might have seen their ad on TV but if not, here it is:

 

 

I did some reading up about King Price before I wrote this post and I must say, they seem pretty legit.

Their business model works because the main strategy driving their business is client retention, which means keeping their clients happy and giving them exceptional service rather than sneakily pushing their premiums up year after year.

HOWEVER, on to the matter at hand, the R1 000 iTunes voucher King Price is offering one of you lucky basterds.

 

 

Here’s how the competition works – you need to post a comment below of no more than three sentences explaining how you think King Price gets away with decreasing their premiums month by month.

Let my main man Karl from the video be your inspiration when writing your comment.

In other words, the funniest, craziest, most original comment (as judged by me) will win the voucher.

To get you guys started, here’s an example I just cooked up:

King Price are able to decrease their insurance premiums every month because the ous don’t have to spend any money on electricity at any of their branches. Instead, they connect gym machines to a generator and invite buff charnas to KLAP IT 24/7 – instant free electricity boet!

 

 

Easy peasy Japanesey.

Today is Tuesday. On Friday I’ll choose my winner.

Got it? Cool. You can enter a maximum of three times, so if you’re not happy with your first two attempts, you’re welcome to post a third, but more than three and I’ll automatically delete them.

Go get ‘em Tigers Winking smile

-ST

18
Mar
13

Escape Monday: Rad Behind The Scenes Photos From Famous Films

16-Photos-From-Behind-The-Scenes-Of-Famous-Films-16Watching movies you forget that when they were being made, the cameras probably spent more time off than on and what was a super serious, iconic scene quickly turned into bored actors dicking around.

That’s why I love stumbling on pics like these that give you a taste of what was happening behind the curtain when movies like Jaws, Star Wars, Terminator and The Shining were being made.

It’s a pretty cool reminder that despite the massive impact these films have had on pop culture, they were made by people just like you and I who were probably bored to tears a lot of the time.

Take the guys manning the camera rig for this famous scene from The Shining for example.

Ho hum.

 

 

And James Cameron, realising way too late that he got into the water before taking his watch off again.

 

 

And so on and so on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good luck with your respective Mondays, hang in there, on Thursday we all get to sleep in and then after that, we’re hitting the beach if it’s sunny or the DVD store if it isn’t and relaxing to the maximum.

Yeeeeeeee-ha!

-ST