Posts Tagged ‘anton taylor


Anton Taylor Is Back. And This Time, He’s In It To Win It. Again.

Movember2Many of you may have read my previous Anton Taylor post when he first won INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MOVEMBER, but just in case you missed it. Here. Click that.

Now that you’re up to speed, let me reveal something to you that I hope you aren’t climbing a ladder when the full impact of it hits you. Are you off the ladder yet? That’s better.

Anton Taylor is BACK. The CHOSEN CHARNA himself has once again accepted the challenge to grow the world’s most incredibly intense moustache and win INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MOVEMBER TWICE!

At least that’s what I think this video is about… Hard to focus on anything in this video behind all that fur and near-nakedness (the bad kind), but I had a good chuckle watching it, which is all I really care about in the end. And men’s cancer, obviously. I care about that too.



Special, ne?

What a motherflippin LEGEND! Only the Chosen Charna could pull that shit off without looking like a man who once tasted sweet glory, who once knew victory and fame, but has since been left by the wayside. Kicked to the curb as it were, and forgotten by the annals of history.

Klap it Anton Taylor.

Klap it, boet.




Okes Who Like To Klap It #14: Mullet CHarna

he-manHazit boychays and belters!

Remember sometimes ago when I wrote about how once in awhile a charna comes along who is a boychay who is a insp-HIRATION to other boychays, a oke who is UNAFRAID to flippin become a MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE like the ultimate gym-klapper of all time and my personal hero HE-OKE?

Ja, well that charna, who okes now call THE CHOSEN CHARNA, has done a flippin OFF THE CHAIN video he asked me to put up a few days ago but I forgot because I was in court after this thing that happened at Tiger Tiger where I took too much JUICE and put some okes in hospital.

I mean seriously?! How’s this: this bloody moffie-oke comes up to me and has the flippin’ BALLS to say “Sorry man, have you got a light?”

I mean, what a CHOP! “Seriously oke,” I said to him, “are you chewing a brick or are you looking at me? Either way you gonna LOSE YOUR TEETH!”

But forget that kak. Check out this schweet video, which has all my 3 favourite things: charnas, doof-doof music and H20!



But wait okes! It get’s better!

If you’re one of the first 50 okes to leave a comment after this post, you’ll get a free, flippin’ MASSIVE-SIZED poster* of that very charna from the video that you can hang on your living room that looks like this:



BE a charna, GET the belters and be the AWESOMEST OKE YOU CAN BE.






BUFF CHARNAS Unite For SA’s First Lumberjack Festival

sexy-male-lumberjackHere on SlickTiger we’ve been known to celebrate some BUFF CHARNAS from time to time.

Ous like PAUL MAIN MAN, who is kak at installing ASDL lines in your office, but great at spading the BELTERS who work there and ANTON TAYLOR, who is a LEGENDARY OKE and also the International Man Of Movember.

But there’s a group of okes who doesn’t feature on this site. A group of okes so BUFF they can saw trees down with their BARE HANDS! Charnas who don’t shave! They just knock the stubble back through their cheeks with a hammer, pull the beard hair out with their teeth and then spit it on the GROUND!

That’s right! I’m talking about the MASSIVE AND RIPPED FEARLESS OKES who risk their lives EVERY DAY to make LAUGH IT OFF T-SHIRTS!



You think just a ordinary oke can make T-Shirts like that?! Kak man! You gotta be flippin OFF THE CHAIN BUFF to come up with the shirts those okes do and even BUFFER to survive the court cases that kak okes try and sue you with when you upset there brands.

So you better believe when MONSTER OKES like them get together and make a festival, it’s not just gonna be any ordinary kak thing.

Are you sitting down for what I’m gonna tell you? Hey?! Don’t be a chophead, SIDDOWN MAN!

That’s better. Now. What I was saying again? Oh ja…

On the Saturday the 14th April and the Sunday the 15th April you better not have any plans cause for the first time in South Africa EVER, Laugh It Off and STIHL are going to do a LUMBERJACK FESTIVAL at LIEVLAND wine farm (by Stellies) that’s gonna make you KAK YOUR PANTS!



It’s gonna be everything from fun runs to live music and the BEST PART is the LUMBER GAMES.

There’s gonna be flippin TREE CLIMBING, flippin Stock Saw, flippin’ JACK AND JILL CROSSCUT SAW, flippin LOG HURLING and even flippin AXE THROWING!

You can klap a GIANT TREE SWING, a MONSTER WATER SLIDE, a PEDAL BOAT RACING and the buffest of them all, TREE PLANTING! Because, you know, nature is dying of carbon gasses and needs our help and stuff…

Don’t be a doos and not go to this festival because you’re scared of getting a little flippin splinter or a axe thrown in your head or something.

Put your flippin FLANEGAN shirt on, grow some flippin BALLS and go have a jol.

Every oke who I don’t see there is gonna catch a KLAP from the Tiger, so you’ve been warned! and bring some BELTERS. BELTERS love okes who cut down trees and shit.

Check the invite:




See you TUFF OUS there!



MANentine’s Day – It’s AWN!

lucy-football1I know what you think when you think about Valentine’s Day, because I think the exact same thing: BLOWJOBS.

That’s right. BLOWIES. But do we ever get them? No we do not. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why men HATE Valentine’s Day.

I use the Charlie Brown analogy. That poor, poor basterd.

Always running up to kick the football that Lucy, who is a manipulative little thing if I ever saw one, ALWAYS pulls away at the last second, making Charlie land square on his ass.

Likewise, you buy your lady some flowers, a box of chocolates, maybe a gay little soft toy. You take her out for dinner and wine at a restaurant that has prices so high your balls hurt just thinking about them and you show her a great time.

You take her back home to the rose petal trail leading to the bedroom, light a few candles and give her a loving backrub with Roman Chamomile oil with a little Kenny G playing softly in the background.



You are so ready at this stage to get the best blowie of YOUR LIFE that you can hardly contain your excitement as you strip down and assume the position, ready to have your member and your mind BLOWN TO KINGDOM COME only to find…

She’s fallen into a wine-Kenny-G-and-sensual-backrub-induced coma and you’re somersaulting through the air, about to land square on your ass.

Either that or she sidles up to you all seductively, and whispers something devious like, “Whaddya say we just skip to the good part?” and before you know it, SCHLOOMF! It’s all over.

Well, I’m here to tell you some good news brother!

Because 2012 is a leap year, it ain’t Valentine’s Day on the 14th of Feb, it’s MANENTINE’S DAY, which means all the blowies YOU CAN HANDLE!

That’s right ladies, this year it’s all about spoiling your MAN. This is what the good folks at Savanna explained to me on Monday when I found ANTON TAYLOR and a BELTER waiting for me at reception:



That’s not all though. They also dropped off a whole lot of SICK manly stuffs like TOILET GOLF:






And my personal favourite, MMA DVD:



Don’t lie. You want this stuff SO BADLY right?

It’s all good homes, go to Savanna’s FB page by clicking on these magical words and tell them what your ultimate MANentine’s date would involve and you could win a date worth R10 000.

And if she DOESN’T give you a blowie at the end of that, well, I have some bad news for you.

You are dating a nun.



Good luck out there – if anyone’s gonna win this competition, it’ll be one of you crazy basterds Winking smile



Okes Who Like To Klap It #10: ANTON TAYLOR

Anton5Once in a while a oke come along who is not just a normal oke, he’s not just another chop head who doesn’t unnerstand the meaning of getting MASSIVE, RIPPED and BUFF and banging hot BELTERS!

This oke, he can be called a LEGEND among men, he can be called the CHOSEN CHARNA. This oke can KILL you with a LOOK, OR he can safe lives by curing any disease – AIDS, TERBUCULOZES, PREGNANCY, ANYTHING – with a flippin’ high five.

This oke walks amongst us, KLAPPING IT, MOERING okes who are kak, BANGING hot BELTERS and being a LEGEND and his name… is ANTON TAYLOR.



The second I checked this oke I INSTANTLY kakked my pants he’s so flippin’ MASSIVE AND RIPPED. Do you think just any oke’s hair grows like that? Fuck boet, come off it man!

When ANTON TAYLOR was a laaitie ous must have put him in RADIOACTIVE waste and shit or sent him from ANOTHER PLANET or bitten him with A SPIDER or something, cause the BUFFNESS of this boychay is OFF THE CHAIN!

And you think it stops there? CHARNA, that’s only where it STARTS!




I know EXACTLY what you’re thinking and the answer is NO! It’s not flippin’ fair that ONE OKE can naturally grow lightning bolts that point at his cheloger and HAIR WINGS on his back that he can fly around with, but you know what?

Life’s not fair boet. All us ordinary charnas can do is KLAP IT every day and hope to one day be HALF as MASSIVE, RIPPED and BUFF as ANTON TAYLOR.



I never thought a oke could ever be more buff than PAUL MAIN MAN, but flip ANTON TAYLOR, you are on a DIFFERENT LEVEL from that other ou.

I did some googalising on the interwebs and find out the following stuff about ANTON TAYLOR:


  • The explosion in Hirosheema wasn’t actually a plutonic bomb, it was one of ANTON TAYLOR’S PROTEIN BAFFS
  • The TITANIC didn’t sink because it hit a iceberg, ANTON TAYLOR went back in time and punched a hole in it because it was KAK
  • ANTON TAYLOR’S chest hair is what gave God the idea of LIGHTNING
  • The twin towers weren’t hit by a plane, ANTON TAYLOR flew into both of them when he was distracted banging two blonde BELTERS at the same time IN THE AIR
  • If you look directly at ANTON TAYLOR’S handlebars for longer than 6 seconds you go blind
  • ANTON TAYLOR caused the earthquake that destroyed Japan. He chucked his weights on the ground after his 1 000 000 000 000th rep and the resulting tremor moved the TECHNOTRONIC PLATES!
  • God didn’t rest on the seventh day, he gave up because he realised EVERYTHING HE CREATED WAS KAK compared to ANTON TAYLOR


Keep KLAPPING IT ma boychay, you are an inspirhation to BUFF CHARNAS the world over!