Archive for February, 2012

17
Feb
12

SlickTiger Wins At Twitter, Gets Emotional

mindblownThose of you who follow me on Twitter will know this already, but for the rest of you, you might want to sit down because what I’m about to tell you WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!

For decades people have speculated that if anyone had to pass 999 followers on Twitter, it might cause a similar scenario that was predicted when the year 2000 approached ie. a complete technological meltdown.

Well, I am simultaneously proud and relieved to tell you that as of 18h16 yesterday (UTC/GMT +2) I reached exactly 1000 followers on Twitter and from what I can tell, technology everywhere is FINE.

16
Feb
12

Ellen’s Little Monsters

913140-sophie-grace-brownleeAs amazingly entertaining, arbitrary and awesome as the internet is, there’s also a darker, far more sordid side to it.

Yes, you guessed it. I’m referring to the “cute factor” that turns distinctly average content into a powerful internet supervirus because we live in a sibling society where people dwell in the perpetual twilight of their childhood years, refusing point blank to grow the fuck up.

It’s Neverland, and it’s populated with sickeningly adorable characters that people LOVE simply because they evoke that “aaaawwwwww, cuuuuuuuuuttte” reaction that defies all rational logic.

Case in point – Sophia Grace Brownlee and her hilariously useless sidekick cousin.

15
Feb
12

Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

220px-Billion_Dollar_PosterThis could go either way. It could end up being just another dumbass American slapstick movie crammed full to bursting with dick jokes and endless shouting, or it could be pretty funny.

The premise is that the two main characters Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim (playing themselves presumably) are given a billion dollars to make a movie and end up squandering every cent.

To make the money back they decide to rehabilitate a mall full of vagrants, bizarre stores and a man-eating wolf that stalks the food court. Oh yeah, and Zach Gallifianakis, Will Ferrell and Jeff Goldblum are in it. Hit the “read more” link for the trailer.

14
Feb
12

The Mammogram Post

MammogramI don’t vent often on this site, but my girlfriend J-Rab went for a mammogram yesterday and had a really crappy, uncomfortable experience that I felt I had to share because if this is what other girls have to go through then we have a serious problem.

It is a well-documented fact that the best and most powerful way of beating cancer is through early detection and treatment.

It’s something the CANSA association and numerous health administrations in South Africa and the world encourage people to do in order to beat a disease that affects an average of one in four people in their lifetime.

13
Feb
12

Adventure Gamers Rejoice!

GrimFandangoFrom 1987 when Maniac Mansion hit the scene, until around 2000 when Grim Fandango and Escape From Monkey Island were released, Lucas Arts made some of the finest adventure games known to man.

Ask any kid who grew up in the 90s and he’ll tell you straight up those games (Indiana Jones, Day Of The Tentacle, Sam & Max, Full Throttle, Monkey Island, etc) were the stuff our childhood was made of.

But then the 2000s hit and adventure games suddenly died. First person shooters, sandbox-style games like GTA, and epic titles like God Of War took over and adventure game fans were left wanting. Until now…

10
Feb
12

Hilarious “Future Hipsters” Video

Old_3aa4ea_1913908Again the Tiger sails the seas of cheese to bring you guys some lukewarm internet leftovers so he doesn’t have to use the twisted brain God (or something) gave him to come up with anything original.

It’s been a loooong flippin’ week, my brain feels like a gloopy mess in my head and right now I really want nothing more than to collapse face-first into the weekend.

So while I sit here, listening to stoner rock and sipping whisky from a hip flask under my desk, I want you to enjoy this video that features wrinkled old hipsters being way more awesome than they ever were when they were young (thanks @RiccWebb!).

09
Feb
12

Brilliant Illustrations By Ben Chen

636x460design_01Before we jump into this, let it be known that I am stealing this shamelessly from My Modern Met, so big up to them for being so cool about it.

I’m gonna let these illustrations speak for themselves because they are too awesome for words. So yeah, all I’m doing at the moment is rambling for 100 words so that I can nail the intro paragraph.

How many dead babies can you fit in a barrel? 57. How do you get a fat chick in bed? Piece of cake. Why do they call it a “pap smear”? Because if they called it a “cunt scrape” no one would go. Aaand we’re good.

08
Feb
12

MANentine’s Day – It’s AWN!

lucy-football1I know what you think when you think about Valentine’s Day, because I think the exact same thing: BLOWJOBS.

That’s right. BLOWIES. But do we ever get them? No we do not. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why men HATE Valentine’s Day.

I use the Charlie Brown analogy. That poor, poor basterd.

Always running up to kick the football that Lucy, who is a manipulative little thing if I ever saw one, ALWAYS pulls away at the last second, making Charlie land square on his ass.

07
Feb
12

Hands Up Who Remembers THIS Shit…

04apr23-awesome-failMaking something go viral is a fine art.

You could shoot something that is straight up mind-blowingly amazing. A show of skill that NO ONE can top – Damien Walters falls into this category (watch his showreels, holy shit).

Or maybe you get lucky enough to shoot the exact opposite, ie. someone failing in a way that is so spectacularly hilarious and painful to watch it becomes an instant viral hit.

Lastly you could shoot something that is so terribly LAME, whether it’s intentional or not, that people instantly forward it to EVERYONE THEY KNOW (“Gingers Do Have Souls”, I’m looking at you buddy). THAT’S how I stumbled on this next video, way back in 2006…

06
Feb
12

Okes Who Like To Klap It #12: Old Spice Charna

Expendables Cast Rings New York Stock Exchange ZKAeGmJILlslHazit ma boychays!

So I’m surfing the interwebs the other day just doing my normal thing of checking my emails, writing some kak on vleisboek and looking for pictures of MASSIVE AND RIPPED okes covered in oil looking flippin’ BUFF in there speedos and what do I find?!

THE FLIPPIN BUFFEST CHARNA IN THE LAND!

I mean, a oke who shouts ALL THE TIME, RIDES TIGERS, HAS BICEPS INSIDE HIS BICEPS, CAN TURN OFF THE SUN, KICK BUILDINGS DOWN and blow his own MIND! Seriously boet, the only way I can explain it is if you watch some of the videos I found.