Archive for July, 2012

31
Jul
12

Feel-Good Vibes From Nando’s and Cheesekids

600020_10150940754180633_2113325908_aIt’s a crazy day for your Tiger pal folks because it’s my last day at my current job. It’s been two and a half years, amazing how quickly it goes by.

Blink just once and you’ve missed the entire thing. On the other hand, change is good, you gotta embrace that shit because it’s the only constant in this crazy life and without it we’d all be bored stiff.

Speaking of change, I just watched the latest Nando’s and Cheesekids Souperstar video that did the rounds on Friday and it made me feel better in a small way about life in general, so thank you Nando’s, your Tiger pal salutes you.

Since Nando’s put out the first Cheesekids teaser video (at around the time of Nando’s controversial anti-Xenophobia ad), over 800 people have signed up to volunteer at four pop-up soup kitchens around the country – all in areas that have been affected by Xenophobia.

From Alexandra to Langa, Lindela Repatriation Centre to Limpopo, these Souperstars have made a difference by simply volunteering their time and energy to help feed the homeless.

Check it:

 

 

My dad started going to church unexpectedly back when I was in highschool, which was a bit of a curveball at the time because I’d never thought of him as a particularly religious man.

He didn’t make a big thing of it and still doesn’t to this day, but all these churchy pamphlets and handouts started collecting on the counter in the entrance hall where he’d “file” them every Sunday.

I didn’t pay much attention to them, they were pretty stock-standard images of Christ getting nailed (the bad way) and suffering for our sins, coupled with lines cleverly designed to make you feel righteous and vaguely guilty at the same time.

But this one caught my eye on day, this story about two friends walking on the beach after spring tide with all these washed up starfish everywhere, thousands of them.

 

 

The one friend, much to the irritation of his buddy, kept interrupting the flow of conversation by picking the starfish up and throwing them back into the sea.

Eventually his buddy cracked, saying, “Would you stop that? There are thousands of starfish on this beach, it’s not like you’re making a difference.”

To which the friend replied by picking up another starfish, throwing it into the sea and saying, “I made a difference to that one.”

-ST

30
Jul
12

Okes Who Like To Klap It #17: Cameron Van Der Burgh

Cameron-van-der-Burgh-08Charnas, ask any flippin oke with half a brain and he’ll tell you straight that when it comes to the most prestigious athletic event in the world, nothing, and I mean NOTHING can beat MTN GLADIATORS!

Lemme tell you, those flippin okes trains sometimes up to five times A WEEK and is capable of taking huge levels of STEROIDS that would kill a normal ou in three seconds.

But of course, as history tells us, back in 1998 the DOOSES in TV land decided to cancel MTN GLADIATORS the first time and charnas were like "What the flip are we gonna watch now?!" And so the TV land dooses invented the Olympics, which are ok, but KAK in comparison to MTN GLADIATORS.

So anyway, I was trying to find the weightlifting ous yesterday when the next thing I knowed there was all these flippin skinny okes in SPEEDOS splashing around like a buncha moffies in the pool and I was like "What the KAK is this?! Not one of these ous knows how to KLAP IT!"

 

 

The reason of course was because none of the ous were SEFRICANS. When eventually a Sefrican ou stood up on his box to jump in the water, I took one look at the pecs on that charna and was like, "Jis-LAAIK! THAT boychay is the buffest IN THE LAND!"

I mean, he was no GRANITE, or WILDEBEEST or even SAHARA (BELTER!), but ja. He was ok. He looked like a nice ou, the kind I wouldn’t mind klapping a few brandy-cokes with and then hugging later.

But anyway, after that I watched this BUFF CHARNA tear through the water like a flippin WATER MISSILE, destroying the other ous in a embarrassing display of flippin’ UNSTOPABLE POWER!

This charna (who has the name of CAMERON VAN DER BURGH) was klapping it so fast that he even swimmed past the YELLOW RECORD LINE, which means he not only came first, but also breaked the flippin’ Olympic record AT THE SAME TIME!

 

 

A ou like that, lemme tell you, is right now as I right this, belting AT LEAST THREE blonde Olympic belters AT THE SAME TIME in the secret Olympic SEX CAMP they have to breed super athletes so that they can bring back MTN GLADIATORS!

Cameron, charna, thank you for klapping that race yesterday boet, you made us proud SEFRICANS that not only can a fellow SEFRICAN KLAP IT ON THAT LEVEL, but also that soon there will be a new breed of athletes that will make the X-MEN look like a buncha hipster moffies who never lifted a weight in their life.

And Cameron, one last thing, if you could please belt a chick who can run very fast that would be schweet. Then that kid will be able to run very fast UNDERWATER, which will be a essential skill in the new version of MTN GLADIATORS I’m thinking of…

Anyway, Cameron you legend, all there is left to say is YOU KLAPPED IT BOET!

Well flippin done!

-ST

27
Jul
12

Friday Playlist: Bands That Are Better Than Linkin Park

2unlimitedFollowing the Linkin Park comments section shitstorm that happened on TFW yesterday, I decided that maybe the approach I’d taken with regards to my post was wrong.

I’m sorry for the hurt that post may have caused LP fans. It was unfair of me to tear the band a new one without substantiating my argument in any way.

So in order to enlighten my readers and back my argument up with irrefutable fact, I’ve decided to put together a playlist of bands that I think are better than Linkin Park to encourage some healthy debate. And before you can ask it let me just say yes, Chumbawamba did indeed make it onto that list.

So sit back, relax, put some headphones on and really soak this list up and if at the end of that you can honestly tell me that Linkin Park is better than any of these bands then hey, maybe I was wrong (unlikely).

It’s not going to be easy for ol’ LP to top these bands though, I’ve really brought my A-game today. What am I talking about? Well how about EIFEL 65 for starters?! Followed by motherflippin 12 INCHES OF SNOW!

Licky boom-boom down bitches.

 

Bands That Are Better Than Linkin Park from SlickTiger on 8tracks.

 

Hit my 8tracks site if you’d like full media player functionality in case you want to hear some songs more than once because yeah, with MICHAEL BOLTON on the list, who wouldn’t?!

Happy Friday Party People, have a killer weekend Winking smile

-ST

26
Jul
12

SlickTiger’s Kitteh Pals Nearly 3 Weeks Old

Cyootface1I feel no shame about the post I’m about to write because as much as I might come across as an insensitive Neanderthal, I’m actually a big softie at heart.

All this post contains are pictures of very cute kittens that, come next week Monday, will be exactly 3 weeks old.

The backstory here is J-Rab works at a vet where they brought in a very pregnant and strikingly beautiful stray cat that couldn’t have been more than 8 months old. J-Rab decided we’d give the cat a home to have it’s kittens and now we have 6 little furballs that are literally getting cuter by the day.

Fair warning to any broody girls out there: these pics are on a whole other level of cuteness.

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In case you were wondering, yes we have found homes for all the kittens. We’re doing the responsible thing and making everyone pay R450 for a kitten.

This covers their shots and the cost of getting them spayed when they’re old enough.

And no. I am not breeding these kittens for the sole purpose of fattening them up to eat them, although when they were younger, the thought of a kitteh-kebab was tempting…

-ST

25
Jul
12

Life Of Pi Official Trailer

LifeOfPiI posted a few weeks back that I had mixed feelings about Life Of Pi being turned into a movie because the book was so powerful and I was afraid Hollywood would ruin it.

Well, following hot on the heels of that post, here’s the official trailer for Life Of Pi, which is due for release this December.

Hard to tell from the trailer whether they’ve butchered this classic or not. Ang Lee is directing it so one thing’s for sure, you can bet your ass it’s going to be stunning visually, but until I’ve seen the finished product I’m remaining cautiously optimistic that they’re gonna pull this one off.

 

 

Big up to Civilian for being a total badass and sending this my way.

-ST

25
Jul
12

Movie Review: The Dark Knight Rises

the-dark-knight-rises-new-featuretteJ-Rab and I hit up the Dark Knight Rises premier last night courtesy of Nokia, who used the opportunity to officially launch the Lumia 900, and wow, what a brilliant movie.

Because I realise most of you haven’t seen it yet, I’m going to try and keep this as vague as possible in terms of the actual plot.

Co-writer and director Christopher Nolan is nothing if not a master of genius plot twists and the last thing I want to do is give his art away so don’t worry, this review is spoiler-alert free.

For starters, and I think this goes without saying, don’t go into The Dark Knight Rises expecting a movie that is anything like its predecessor.

Co-writer / director Christopher Nolan has wisely chosen a totally new direction for DKR that explores a fresh side of the Batman legend and makes it impossible to say DKR is better or worse than The Dark Knight.

 

 

DKR takes place eight years after The Dark Knight during which time Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) has successfully managed to clean up Gotham’s streets by passing an act in commemoration of Harvey Dent that puts an end to organised crime in the city.

Eccentric billionaire Bruce Wayne has all but disappeared off the face of the earth, as has the Batman who, having taken the fall for Harvey Dent’s murder, is widely regarded by Gotham as a monster that the city is better off without.

Enter ruthless mercenary Bane (Tom Hardy), who amasses an army of equally ruthless and unquestioningly loyal soldiers and followers in the sewers of Gotham City.

With the help of Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman (Anne Hathaway), Bane begins systematically dismantling the structures of power that run Gotham City and the ensuing chaos makes The Joker’s efforts to destabilise Gotham look like a child’s attempt to sculpt Michelangelo’s David with edible play dough.

 

 

Much like Batman Begins, Christian Bale is in the driving seat once again this time around because where the late Heath Ledger’s Joker was psychotic, unstable and loveable, Bane is methodical, stone-faced and detestable, so there’s no one to steal Bale’s thunder.

His portrayal of Batman is like nothing seen in the previous films and he brings a vulnerability to the character that emphasises the fact that under the suit is just a man, like any other, and that all that sets him apart from the rest of us is his unfailing belief in an ideal for which he is willing to fight to the death for.

Nolan is, as always, masterful in his careful construction of his plot and characters. It’s like watching someone set up an entire football stadium of dominos, each one perfectly placed so that at the right time, all he has to do is nudge one of them ever so slightly and the entire lot come crashing down in a breath-taking moment of utter chaos.

 

 

The Dark Knight Rises is the most fitting conclusion to Nolan’s Batman trilogy that any fan or casual movie-goer could ask for.

There is hardly one character, whether it’s Hathaway’s silky Catwoman, Michael Cain’s endearing, scene-stealing Alfred or Joseph Gordan-Levitt’s unflinchingly courageous patrol officer John Blake, that doesn’t light up the screen with every line of carefully weighed and scripted dialogue.

Sure, the characters might not land the one-liners with the panache of a film like the Avengers, but this is not a happy-go-lucky Marvel outing. This is DC, it’s dark, it’s broody and from the first scene right through to the end it had my heart pounding like a Slipknot drum solo in my chest.

Chances are you were going to see this movie whether I wrote this review or not, so I realise that writing this review is almost superfluous, but The Dark Knight Rises is deserving of the best praise a critic can give and I feel it’s my duty to add my voice to that already deafening chorous.

Watch this film. You won’t be disappointed.

Final Verdict: 9/10

-ST

24
Jul
12

Linkin Park Limps Toward SA

LinkinParkPA190911Twitter was abuzz yesterday when news broke about Nu Metal band Linkin Park touring SA later this year, much to the delight of basically no one.

“As a band, we’ve reached a point in our career where we have all come to the realisation that our creative energy is nowhere near where it used to be,” said Linkin Park frontman, Screamy-Guy. 

“Add the fact that our fan base is waning steadily, and that leaves us with only one option left really – go on tour to South Africa.”

Linkin Park exploded onto the Nu Metal scene with Hybrid Theory back when bands like Limp Bizkit and Crazy Town were popular which aptly sums up their musical prowess.

Since their debut back in 2001, the band has released a staggering four albums all of which, with the possible exception of the Hybrid Theory carbon-copy Meteora, have been lauded by fans and critics alike as being “kind of okay”.

 

 

“I dug that one song they did, I think it was a couple of years ago, you know the one where he’s singing about torture and pain and suffering and bleeding and shit,” said avid 5FM listener and musical ignoramus Gerrit du Toit, “ja… that on was flippin kief…”

The band will be in SA under the guise of promoting their new album Living Things which is currently enjoying a Metacritic rating of 58/100.

“Living Things is definitely our most experimental record to date,” said Screamy-Guy, “in that it signals a marked departure from the band trying to copy Nine Inch Nails to trying to copy Skrillex, who we’ve heard is way cool.

 

 

“After the response the album got after it launched, we consulted our good friends Collective Soul, Evanescence and Staind all of whom said it was definitely time to head to South Africa because yeah… South Africa is so starved for bands, it’s probably the only place in the world that we can still sell out a stadium.”

Linkin Park are set to wow people in their early thirties (who are still stuck in 2001 and get excited when “Mr Jones” plays at the pub) with concerts in both Johannesburg and Cape Town in early November.

-ST

23
Jul
12

The Tiger Hits Up The Man U / Ajax Game, Gets Deliriously Happy for 4 Minutes

Man U Lead PicIf there’s one thing I can never get enough of, it’s articles written by PRs and people in marketing about “How To Approach Bloggers”.

Why anyone would waste their time writing Captain Obvious advice like that is beyond me. Just pick up a phone, call us, have a chat and send us cool free stuff.

My man Arthur from Oude Meester followed that advice to the letter last week Friday when he called me up, asked me if I wanted two tickets to the Oude Meester box for the Man U / Ajax game on Saturday, met me at the Engen on Orange in a black beemer and hooked a brother up.

Fast forward to Saturday afternnoon and J-Rab and I were squeezing our way through the crowds at Cape Town Stadium 5 minutes before kick-off, desperately trying to get to the Oude Meester box in time for the first whistle.

 

 

We managed to fight our way through the crowds and get to the Oude Meester box literally one minute after kick-off.

Had the game not just started I would definitely have done the typical blogger thing and taken pictures of the free food and brandy cocktails, but the atmosphere in the stadium was electric and we wanted in on the action yo.

 

 

I’m not much of a soccer fan, I get into it when the World Cup rolls around and sometimes I find myself watching a game or two in the pub. Like like most sports though, watching it live is always awesome and Saturday’s game was no exception.

Ajax played with a lot of heart and come half time both teams were tied at 0-0.

Watching our boys play I was struck by two things; the first was how much better they handled Man U than AmaZulu did (I was lucky enough to watch that game live in Durbs last week) and the second was how very small they looked.

 

 

After half-time the game started to get a little stale and the atmosphere in the stadium died down considerably as most of us resigned ourselves to a 0-0 draw.

Then shit got real. Alcardo Van Graan charged onto the field and a minute later back-heel flicked the ball into Manchester United’s net and every Saffer in the stadium, whether they were Manchester supporters or not, lost their damn minds.

 

 

It looked like Ajax were going to take it. They were 86 minutes into the game, all they had to do was keep their defence water-tight and stick to the Man U players like a bad rash.

But sadly, that didn’t happen. Man U came down the right flank like a goddamned steamroller and Bebe fired home with military precision, levelling the score at 1-1.

 

 

We were robbed I tell ya. Straight up. And the thing that pissed me off the most was how quickly Man U equalised.

I’d bet good money they huddled after Ajax scored and were like, “Ok. On three, unleash Hell.”

Then again, like I said I’m not the world’s most avid soccer fan so what do I know. Maybe Man U were giving it their all throughout, who’s to say?

It was an exciting game any way you look at it and J-Rab and I had a killer time, staying in the Oude Meester box long after the game was done because we were cabbing it home and were in the mood for a cheeky brandy cocktail or two.

This is the last thing I remember. Running up and down the stadium stairs while J-Rab took pics because, um, yeah. I seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

 

Good times I tell ya, good times Winking smile

-ST

20
Jul
12

“Get Out Of The Garage” Shortlists Top 10 Unsigned SA Bands

GOTGtop10KAPOW! From three posts in two weeks to two posts in ONE DAY shit is off the chizain at SlickTiger Industries today.

So as you may have guessed from the title of this post, the final 10 bands have been selected for the Converse “Get Out Of The Garage” competition.

You can vote for the bands at the Converse FB page here: http://on.fb.me/getoutofthegarage where you can hear their tracks, check out their videos and read their bios.

It’s a great selection of bands, the judges Zulu Boy, Jon Savage and Garick Williams selected them from 138 entries and I think they  nailed it when it comes to selecting bands that are representative of what SA has to offer.

 

 

There are some pretty suhweet bands that made it through, now you get to vote for the band you want to win the grand prize (a chance to perform at the legendary 100 Club, the longest running popular music venue in the world).

The final 10 are:

  • Goodnight Wembley (CT, Rock)
  • iScream and the Chocolate Stix (CT, Rock)
  • Matthew Mole (CT, Folk & Electric)
  • Nakhane Toure (JHB, Folk & Rock)
  • North of Winter (PTA, Rock)
  • Savage Lucy (JHB, Metal, Rock & Blues)
  • Shotgun Tori (JHB, Indie & Folk)
  • Skin2Soul (JHB, Afro, Kwaito & Regaae)
  • Swart (JHB, Afrikaans Rock) and
  • The Kiffness (CT, Electronic).

So yeah, which band am I going to vote for?

It’s a tough question. As a music freak, I’m always looking for bands that don’t tow the line and just copy/paste what international bands are doing.

Which only really leaves two bands in the top 10 that cut the mustard.

 

 

These guys have a pretty badass video, but the track that’s streaming on the FB page is better.

They’re edgy. I like edgy. Edgy doesn’t sit in a corner and sulk until it gets noticed. It fucking runs up to you and kicks you in the balls, much like this video.

 

 

Moving on, my second choice would be these crazy cats:

 

 

If you know who Mike Scott is, you’ll know he is a mother-flippin LEGEND!

Remember Goldfish’s rad animated videos from a few years back? Yeah, Mike did those. He also did the infamous SA cartoon Bru & Boegie and a whole bunch of other rad projects.

Everything Mike touches turns to gold and when he teams up with his brother like he does in The Kiffnes, well, shit gets real.

Just watch this video. It’s actually so beyond awesome it’s hard to watch it without your eyeballs exploding out of your skull.

 

 

Good luck getting that little ditty out your head Winking smile

Have a killer weekend Party People.

See ya Monday for more radassery.

-ST

20
Jul
12

The Tiger Is A “Duscusting” Person

Palpatine(250x271)Hiya Party People!

My god it feels like ages since I last posted on this junkyard site, my apologies to my regular readers. To say I’ve been busy over the past two weeks is a total understatement – I’ve been livingbreathingeatingshittingsleeping work, but things are finally calming down a bit.

So yesterday I hit up into the backend of my site (um, wait, that doesn’t sound right…) and I find a comment I just had to share with you guys because the person who wrote it is clearly mentally handicapped / insane and should not be allowed within fifty feet of the interwebs.

A little context before I post her gem of a comment. The post she wrote it about is nearly a year old and was written (ironically) after a bout of not posting for a few days because I was snowed under.

I called the post “The Tiger Jumps Back On The Horse” and posted the following pic because, well, it shows a tiger on a horse:

 

 

So here’s what “Natasha” had to say about that pic:

I find it absolutely DUSCUSTING that people like you are willing to hurt and make animals suffer for others intertainment. like making wild animals be cooped up in tiny cages 24/7 when they should be free to run around in the WILD! i am going to do EVERYTHING in my power to see that animals are treated properly and that animals are no longer part of the circus

What a load of total and utter fucking bullshit!

For the record, I have never hurt or made an animal suffer EVER, I have never locked a wild animal up in a “tiny cage” and I have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that animals are part of the circus.

All these fucking assumptions just because I posted a pic I stole off the interwebs somewhere. And don’t even get me started on the awesome grammar in that comment.

 

 

Believe it or not, this is not the first time something like this has happened.

Anyone remember the “Stray Cat Recipe” post I banged out last year when times were tight and I had to resort to eating stray cats to survive?

Yeah, the comment I got from that one was even better. Check it:

This is THE most disturbing and shocking thing I have EVER read. Firstly, thank you for bringing the public’s attention to a very volatile situation that undeserving animals (yes, ANIMALS) find themselves in due to the stupidity of so called HUMANS.
How cowardly, to attack the defenceless.
Understood that whilst your post may be in jest, it is a poor showing of “human nature”, which is so cowardly that it must turn its energy on those that are unable to respond lest said “human” ACTUALLY be faced with a hint of a compassion, let alone a conscious awareness.
I am disgusted, and frankly, I suggest you find something that may just be a tad USEFUL to human nature, to take up what is clearly way too much time on your part.

So there you have it folks. I am a DUSCUSTING and cowardly human being with too much time on his hands (ha! Christ, I wish) who should throw himself in front of the nearest oncoming train and do humanity a favour.

Incidentally, you should definitely read my reply to the comment above, good times! Winking smile

Let this be a warning to you all – NOTHING is funny anymore. The world is a fucking SERIOUS place so you better get in line and wipe that goddamn smirk off your face.

 

 

The Fun Police are locked and loaded with more passive aggression than you can shake a stick at and they’re coming for us brothers and sisters.

It’s blood for blood by the gallon.

And I’m ready for war.

-ST